• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3boei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

destinationlosangel

destinationlosangel

Student
Feb 16, 2024
145
Ok so since i decided to ctb, I have started eating so much more junk food than i used to. I used to be a bit of a fitness junkie and eating clean was a way of life. Now I eat as much garbage food as i want. Snacks, processed food, lotsa fast food, sugary things. I just stopped caring.

Anyway taking care of ur health is only if u intend to live a long life. So I'm like might as well stop restricting myself and just go for it.

Its funny in a way cuz I'm slowly becoming what I never wanted to become. Luckily I'm not gaining any weight. For now, thankfully.
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
569
Yeah lol I started eating a lot of junk food and since I take pregabalin every other day to help me cope with depression I have a huge appetite.
The fun fact is, I've lost 5kg (11lbs) since I started ;-;;-;;-; wth is wrong with my body
 
  • Like
Reactions: destinationlosangel
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
I had many thoughts to go back eating junk and might die from heartattack in my sleep, But i don't think that's possible or i want to be overweight
 
sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,650
Yeah, I had a phase last year when I would eat unhealthily because I was gonna die anyways, so why not speed up the process? Now, I sometimes eat instant ramen when I want to be unhealthy but I honestly feel better when I eat well
Yes.

I don't care about my health at all because I want to commit CTB.
Sometimes I laugh that I will die of a heart attack or something similar before I commit CTB.
This is likely.

I'm not fat either. I'm thin.
I just eat what I want, when I want.
Same but I feel good when I eat good
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: destinationlosangel
AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Specialist
Apr 5, 2023
361
I was making home cooked meals everyday.
Now I let myself go regularly and buy food u just need to put in the oven like lasagna, mac & cheese, pizza...
Its terrible but I dont have the energy to cook healthy anymore on most days.
 
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
I was making home cooked meals everyday.
Now I let myself go regularly and buy food u just need to put in the oven like lasagna, mac & cheese, pizza...
Its terrible but I dont have the energy to cook healthy anymore on most days.
If you are lazy like me buy airfryer and that baking paper if you don't have one yet. You cook healthy and you don't have to clean or prepare anything.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Specialist
Apr 5, 2023
361
If you are lazy like me buy airfryer and that baking paper if you don't have one yet. You cook healthy and you don't have to clean or prepare anything.
i have one
but so far I only used it for sweet potatoes
 
destinationlosangel

destinationlosangel

Student
Feb 16, 2024
145
Yes.

I don't care about my health at all because I want to commit CTB.
Sometimes I laugh that I will die of a heart attack or something similar before I commit CTB.
This is likely.

I'm not fat either. I'm thin.
I just eat what I want, when I want.
Same here. I used to get super worried before when I'd get some slight ache in my chest or even spasms. These days, I'm like ok is this is a heart attack coming? Cuz if it is, thats great lol
Yeah, I had a phase last year when I would eat unhealthily because I was gonna die anyways, so why not speed up the process? Now, I sometimes eat instant ramen when I want to be unhealthy but I honestly feel better when I eat well

Same but I feel good when I eat good
whats ur diet like? asking since u said it makes u feel good
Yeah, I had a phase last year when I would eat unhealthily because I was gonna die anyways, so why not speed up the process? Now, I sometimes eat instant ramen when I want to be unhealthy but I honestly feel better when I eat well

Same but I feel good when I eat good
whats ur diet like? asking since u said it makes u feel good
 
  • Like
Reactions: Agon321
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,623
Food is one of the last things I actually enjoy in life and I don't have a great diet. I'm trying to balance it a bit more this year with exercise because I felt so shit last year. I don't like being fat but I pretty much always have been. Still, I also kind of think- what does it matter? I'm not trying to live a long life and I'm pretty much a recluse. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone! Still, I don't exactly like the way I feel on too much processed food.
 
M

Meteora

Ignorance is bliss
Jun 27, 2023
1,487
It makes completely sense, why care about health and weight if you anyway want to ctb? It is great that you don't gain weight, though.
Unfortunately, I cannot allow myself to do that. Guess I m too obsessive with weight and physical appearance and the feeling of wanting to be "clean".
 
Last edited:
E

elderDrifter

Life is Transitory
Mar 9, 2024
38
I decided to let myself drink soda for once in a very long time. Now I just drink it nearly every day because I just can't bring myself to care anymore. I'm being somewhat mindful just in case my preferred methods don't work out, but I'm finally letting myself go. It feels nice to do so.
 
Shar

Shar

Experienced
Nov 23, 2023
270
For me, health is made so I can eat whatever i like. I've always found some people's obsession with fitness silly. Their health is going to fail anyway, they're going to get old and sick, so fuck it all.
 
d-tea

d-tea

Member
Apr 7, 2024
21
It's the opposite, I've started to try to eat as little as possible. It seems to have no effect thus far, sadly. I feel like nothing is wrong, physically, even though I have basically been starving for about a month.
 
M

Meteora

Ignorance is bliss
Jun 27, 2023
1,487
For me, health is made so I can eat whatever i like. I've always found some people's obsession with fitness silly. Their health is going to fail anyway, they're going to get old and sick, so fuck it all.
It is a disorder. A compensation for a non-existing self-esteem. Be gratful you don't have it.
 
M

Meteora

Ignorance is bliss
Jun 27, 2023
1,487
What you are saying has nothing to do with what I said.
In my opinion it does. People who are obsessive with food are not behaving silly.
Just tried to explain to you.
 
Shar

Shar

Experienced
Nov 23, 2023
270
In my opinion it does. People who are obsessive with food are not behaving silly.
Just tried to explain to you.

'obsessive' was a bad word. I meant it's not worth torturing yourself by not eating what you like. Especially if you are already elderly.
I'm talking about how most people stop eating what they like and torture themselves by eating what they don't like, because they're afraid of getting sick in the long term, which is silly. They are going to get cancer anyway.
 
Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Death will give me peace
Sep 21, 2022
470
I stopped caring about eating healthy also, I don't see the point since I'm going to be dying sooner or later but I don't mind eating healthy here and there.
 
F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
351
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll no! Venlafaxine (the last antidepressant I tried) made me SO FUCKING FAT. I worked my ass off for over a year to lose all of the weight and start building muscle. I'm 40 and have abs! I'm not going to ruin this physique with a bunch of junk food. I will face Death looking fabulous, being able to run 7 miles on a whim, and benching half my body weight. I want to punch Death in the face and have it HURT! 😈
 
Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
896
Been eating ice cream and candy almost every day for 2 months now. Before then I was on a superstrict diet due to what I suspect is body dysmorphia (no ed though, thankfully), but then I just stopped giving a fuck for some reason. I just eat all kind of crap rn. I bet I've gained so much fucking weigh bc of it and I hate it, but what does it matter when I'm probably going to be dead soon anyways?
While I don't binge, I admittedly use it as a comfort for my issues too. Food is one of the few things I still care about tbh.
 
sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,650
Same here. I used to get super worried before when I'd get some slight ache in my chest or even spasms. These days, I'm like ok is this is a heart attack coming? Cuz if it is, thats great lol

whats ur diet like? asking since u said it makes u feel good

whats ur diet like? asking since u said it makes u feel good
Whatever food my mom makes lol. It's usually Chinese
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
gantaigarashi

gantaigarashi

Wageslave
Aug 1, 2023
70
I'm also eating junk foid more frequently but I'm afraid if it will mess up gut more since I think I have IBS or some other gut issue.

I really don't want to throw up.a lot of SN nor feel extreme discomfort in my stomach after drinking SN
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,060
I've been eating poorly before I really wanted to CTB and I will continue eating bad food afterwards. I have cut the sugar from most things I drink though. Also I do sometimes increase my unhealthy eating habits when I'm especially sad.
 
4am

4am

there’s nothing for you (it/its)
Dec 14, 2023
1,547
i've been eating lots of junk food all my life, my suicidality didn't affect that in any way
 
gingermacie

gingermacie

head in the clouds
Apr 5, 2024
74
I used to be an anorexic and never really gave a shit about what I ate as long as I stayed skinny. Now, I don't give a shit at all. Just eat whatever, whenever.
 

Similar threads

pinkbluebutch
Replies
6
Views
152
Suicide Discussion
Kattt
Kattt
L
Replies
6
Views
246
Suicide Discussion
lucifer_yoo
L
O
Replies
6
Views
302
Suicide Discussion
octopusinu
O
LXXCH
Replies
18
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
Hotsackage
H