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noonetoo

noonetoo

Specialist
Mar 7, 2019
386
I've been on both sides.
I've been bullied and been the bully.
As an adult, I feel more pain towards the people I hurt and didn't deserve it. Nothing excused my behavior and I wish I could truly explain how sorry I am. I deserve to drown in my own sorrow.

2nd grade, he lived a block away from me, I remember seeing him outside his house when I would go to the corner store. He would kick and punch me because he liked me but I didn't like him back.

5th grade, I still remember the girl's full name; she'd push me to the ground, kick me, call me names, she'd yell in my face and interrogate me, I felt so humiliated in front of other kids and some would laugh.

Middle school; I was a complete social outcast. All the kids left to 6th grade camp but I was "too poor" to go. It was heartbreaking that they all came back with friends. I was left out. I couldn't even afford school lunch because my mom didn't fill out the papers. I use to try to waste time in the library, searching through books for nothing except praying time would fly by. It was embarrassing always being confronted by other kids why I was in the library so much. I used to try to hide in the bathrooms but it sucked teachers would always try to kick us out of there. I remember following girls who I thought were acquaintances and they would practically chase me away.

High school wasn't as bad, I was still a loser.
I was depressed & in and out of mental care. Spiraling mentally but I was the mean one. Not going to go into detail what I did. I know I'll be judged. My pain is beyond social issues, all the abuse and rape I have endured but I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. ;-;
 
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