Anyone ever feel so alone?

[vodolazkiy12]

I was depressed and having thoughts again last night, so I went out bar hopping with some "friends" for the first time in months. Today I can't help but feel so low. Like I don't have anyone I can go to. Another "friend" who saw me out and about for once in a very long time asked me if there was anything they could do to help. I was honest and just asked to chill and have someone to talk to. Which once again has ended up with me left on read and ignored. So much for "best friend of almost 15 years" just feel like if I left here soon or this year that no one would notice for months. I mean, my last attempt I laid on the living room floor for 4 days before I realized it wasn't working and I was still going to be here. No one knew. If they did, they didn't care. I'm at that alone stage where I may just ctb soon. Be rid of this life and the people in it. Clearly I'm worthless to them and I'm tired of trying to stay in contact. I have 3 methods in mind. Probably need to do more research yet. It's just a matter of time.

 

[Darkdreamer001]

You're far from alone...I think loneliness is a global pandemic. People are connected and at the same time disconnected. We have all this social media to help us talk to people all over the world but people are connected emotionally. I hate to admit this but I'm so lonely that brain is having a hard time coping and it decides that to make up fantasies like being married and having a life that is full of love, laughter, and adventure. My brain has had plenty of time to come up with some beautiful love story that I wish that was true until I snap out of it. I'm so lonely that the only way I can cope with life is to imagine that I have one that's worth living for. Now, I can't stop daydreaming because being in reality suck so much that brain wants to escape all the time. It's hard to focus and I try to make my real life better but it isn't the same. I don't know what happens when we die but maybe when I'm dead maybe I'll go to that place...but it's sad knowing that I just made it up.

 

[Largeletters]

Always, for my entire life, I have felt and oftentimes really have been alone. I really relate to your post and I'm sorry your friends don't seem to understand.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Being/feeling alone seems to be the norm these days. I saw everyone i am connected to move on with their lives, start families and be busy. I wish it can help but i feel your pain. I hope that the universe sends you someone or something that makes you feel less alone. It can happen

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Yes, I am very alone. Only have one real human connection and I can't stand their presence, but dread when I have to be solitary. I pass by farm animals driving (I don't even want to say what...it's too sad for me) alone along the road and it really disturbs me. It's not projecting....most animals are social. To isolate them 4 seasons a year is fucking dark shit for me to think about. Sorry to add another thing to think/worry about. Take care. It fucking sucks so hard.

 

[Celerity]

I was depressed and having thoughts again last night, so I went out bar hopping with some "friends" for the first time in months. Today I can't help but feel so low. Like I don't have anyone I can go to. Another "friend" who saw me out and about for once in a very long time asked me if there was anything they could do to help. I was honest and just asked to chill and have someone to talk to. Which once again has ended up with me left on read and ignored. So much for "best friend of almost 15 years" just feel like if I left here soon or this year that no one would notice for months. I mean, my last attempt I laid on the living room floor for 4 days before I realized it wasn't working and I was still going to be here. No one knew. If they did, they didn't care. I'm at that alone stage where I may just ctb soon. Be rid of this life and the people in it. Clearly I'm worthless to them and I'm tired of trying to stay in contact. I have 3 methods in mind. Probably need to do more research yet. It's just a matter of time.

I feel ya. Just got dumped by a "best friend" of 14 years who would intermittently ghost me. I don't think relationships of any kind are for me. It's difficult to stop that very human impulse to form connections.

 

[Dear Agony]

Feel you. Genuinely think no one but my close family would care if I died. I have no friends (I know people say this a lot, but I genuinely have none) and never had a partner although I'm not asexual or anything. The only people interested in me are old men wanting sex.
I've had friends, actually I had a friendship for 11 years with a girl. But my best friend was a guy, and I liked him. They started dating shortly after I reunited them when I was giving a party at my house years ago. Both stopped being friends with me - the girl told the guy I liked him and he never talked to me again after a 2 year friendship. My 2 other best friends who stopped talking to me and started hanging out with them because they had free weed. They both are happily together to this day, and I'm heavily suicidal and alone. So yeah. I have given up on people, and learned to appreciate my loneliness more than anything. I don't want to get hurt like this ever again. It's been 3 years and it still hurts like it was the first day. I don't think I'll ever have friends again. I already know I'm unwanted and no one will love me romantically or else lol

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yup have been feeling disconnected and lonely for a very long time mostly 6 years . I rarely go out anymore, friends are moving on in life. It's time for me to go

 

[Bullit]

. The only people interested in me are old men wanting sex.

And...?

 

[Dear Agony]

And...?

1. I'm not interested in sex with old men enough for me to be their daughter. I don't have a daddy kink. Nothing against people who do though it's just not my thing.
2. I want someone to actually like me romantically, and not want just sex. You can want sex with a person you couldn't care less about, but you can't be in love with someone without caring about their well being, and that's what I want.
You tried though.

 

[Apaturesuicience]

Lonliness hurts so much. I often feel that if only I had one really good friend, it would be enough for me. It seems that I can't find anyone to be friends with. Obviously there is something wrong with me socially. I've tried so many programs and things to learn to be a better friend, but I can't seem to make any of my friendships last. They always fizzle out one way or another. I've started to accept the fact that I will be alone forever.

 

[clownangel]

Ugh I'm sorry. I'm usually the one my "friends" will go to when they're struggling but no one cares to return the favor so I relate here. I don't get the avoidance like, if someone said they couldn't talk or didn't want to I don't think I'd be as upset as when I'm left on read for so long that I just wonder why I bother.

(Sorry for the ramble, I'm pretty much at the end of my list of meaningful connections & I've been going through similar thoughts the past few days.)

 

[Bullit]

1. I'm not interested in sex with old men enough for me to be their daughter. I don't have a daddy kink. Nothing against people who do though it's just not my thing.
2. I want someone to actually like me romantically, and not want just sex. You can want sex with a person you couldn't care less about, but you can't be in love with someone without caring about their well being, and that's what I want.
You tried though.

Just my sick sense of humor. Glad ya got a chuckle!

 

[Marktheghost]

Yep. I'm so lonely! I've not had a friend since about 2003!

 

[loopylou]

Always :(

 

[S like Siren]

You're far from alone...I think loneliness is a global pandemic. People are connected and at the same time disconnected. We have all this social media to help us talk to people all over the world but people are connected emotionally. I hate to admit this but I'm so lonely that brain is having a hard time coping and it decides that to make up fantasies like being married and having a life that is full of love, laughter, and adventure. My brain has had plenty of time to come up with some beautiful love story that I wish that was true until I snap out of it. I'm so lonely that the only way I can cope with life is to imagine that I have one that's worth living for. Now, I can't stop daydreaming because being in reality suck so much that brain wants to escape all the time. It's hard to focus and I try to make my real life better but it isn't the same. I don't know what happens when we die but maybe when I'm dead maybe I'll go to that place...but it's sad knowing that I just made it up.

It's the same thing I do too ... I get lost in my fantasies because reality is too painful. I agree with what many of you have written. I am always alone and i feel deeply alone and it hurts too much

 

[FuneralCry]

I am naturally introverted and I like my own company, but I do spend a lot of time trapped with my own thoughts and my loneliness is like a empty feeling inside of me, rather than lacking connection. People are disappointing to me honestly and I do not keep in contact with the friends I used to have. I just generally feel disconnected from this world and others.

 

[Celerity]

It's the same thing I do too ... I get lost in my fantasies because reality is too painful. I agree with what many of you have written. I am always alone and i feel deeply alone and it hurts too much

Yep, all I can do now is get drunk and fantasize about a better life. The booze is starting to fail as my bus approaches.

 

[W’ren]

Yes
I'm starting to hide in edibles. Take one- feel good for a bit, get to fall asleep + not care that no one around me cares…

 

[Hurt]

I've been so alone these days. They're horrible! Don't want to do anything just close my eyes while hoping they don't open again!

 

[soakmeinbleach]

100% i feel so so lonely,,, i wanna get better but like i feel so alone like theres no one to help me or any1 to talk to

 

[vodolazkiy12]

Everyone I know seems to have moved on as well, and either forgot me or didn't care. Being like this is the worst feeling in the world. It gets worse every day. I'm sorry you're going through this as well. Thank you, I hope we all find someone in time.

Being/feeling alone seems to be the norm these days. I saw everyone i am connected to move on with their lives, start families and be busy. I wish it can help but i feel your pain. I hope that the universe sends you someone or something that makes you feel less alone.

Always, for my entire life, I have felt and oftentimes really have been alone. I really relate to your post and I'm sorry your friends don't seem to understand.

It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Thank you. I think most of them understand, they just don't care. It's crazy how people can throw others into a corner like some used up rag doll.

Ugh I'm sorry. I'm usually the one my "friends" will go to when they're struggling but no one cares to return the favor so I relate here. I don't get the avoidance like, if someone said they couldn't talk or didn't want to I don't think I'd be as upset as when I'm left on read for so long that I just wonder why I bother.

(Sorry for the ramble, I'm pretty much at the end of my list of meaningful connections & I've been going through similar thoughts the past few days.)

Don't be sorry, it's relieving to know I'm not the only one going through and feeling these feelings. That's how they are on my end. Sometimes I go months without seeing or speaking to anyone. Wasn't for lack of trying, but after 3 years I just gave up. That's how I feel, like if you want me to go away and leave you alone just tell me, don't just leave me on read for months.

Yup have been feeling disconnected and lonely for a very long time mostly 6 years . I rarely go out anymore, friends are moving on in life. It's time for me to go

Disconnected...funny you use that word, I just learned what this word was 3 days ago when it got worse than it's ever been and disconnected was what the doctor said it was. It gets worse each day. Every day I wake up wanting to die. Every day I wish there was just one person I could go to that would be there after all the times I was there for everyone else. I'm not even a blip on their radars. I'm sorry to hear this, but I know just what you mean. For me, it's been a long time coming, over 2 decades of bs. I just want to escape from it all, even if it kills me.

 

[vodolazkiy12]

Sorry, I also caught my man cheating a few days ago so I've not been online and leave this up due to not remembering my log in information thank you for making me not feel so alone. No one outside of this website even gives a damn if I even exist. It's nice to be able to talk to others going through the exact same thing.

 

[cantseethelight]

I haven't got the headspace to share something so detailed but I totally feel you and can echo what others have. And you're not alone in feeling alone… I'm stuck in a situation where even if I'm around people I can't seem to connect or socialise the way they can, disconnected feels about right.
but for you maybe it's only temporary in the scheme of things. You never know who or what's around the corner.

Sorry, I also caught my man cheating a few days ago so I've not been online and leave this up due to not remembering my log in information thank you for making me not feel so alone. No one outside of this website even gives a damn if I even exist. It's nice to be able to talk to others going through the exact same thing.

 

[vodolazkiy12]

I haven't got the headspace to share something so detailed but I totally feel you and can echo what others have. And you're not alone in feeling alone… I'm stuck in a situation where even if I'm around people I can't seem to connect or socialise the way they can, disconnected feels about right.
but for you maybe it's only temporary in the scheme of things. You never know who or what's around the corner.

My headspace has been very bad as well and it takes everything to even talk to people. It feels like I'm awkward and people think I'm weird. I'm just disconnected and don't feel like i fit in.

 

[PaxAmerica]

Lonely and in pain. Terrible combination

 

[Celerity]

My headspace has been very bad as well and it takes everything to even talk to people. It feels like I'm awkward and people think I'm weird. I'm just disconnected and don't feel like i fit in.

Hey, at least there is some dignity in your avoidance. I try and try only to repeatedly fail. I am a fool. My attempts have to look desperate and deranged at this point.

 

[vodolazkiy12]

Hey, at least there is some dignity in your avoidance. I try and try only to repeatedly fail. I am a fool. My attempts have to look desperate and deranged at this point.

I don't think it's quite dignity, more so I'm tired of reaching out to people IRL that just ignore me. Plus, I'm coming to that point where i feel like I either fear people or just hate them now and don't wanna be around them. Then sometimes all I want is a hug and for someone to tell me I matter and they care...but they never do. You're not a fool. I did the same thing for over a decade, it's not us, I think it's them at this point.

 

[ihatemyselfsomuch]

I know that feeling. Humans aren't meant to be so socially isolated, so it kills us when we are. If only I could do something about it.

 

[cantseethelight]

My headspace has been very bad as well and it takes everything to even talk to people. It feels like I'm awkward and people think I'm weird. I'm just disconnected and don't feel like i fit in.

Yeah I totally know what you mean. It's mad how many people feel the same. I've tried to reach out for help and tried all sorts but nothings "clicked" me back to "normal" some part of me still has hope that there's an answer but I just can't see it.

but the awkwardness is probably more about how you feel about yourself rather then what anyone else sees or thinks, as is the feeling weird. It's like we reflect our internal beliefs on everything even if there not true or real.
Are you from the U.K.?