Anyone else wish things were better instead of having to ctb?

[Nem]

Damn man, I feel for you. I would rather just torture that so-called doctor to death than kill myself. I hope you will find peace soon.

Thanks bro. I actually was going to break every bone in his body...twice. My fiance was a complete asshole, she took the Dr's side, she was a real work of art, the Dr changed his notes and I caught the idiot. He actually dropped me as a patient...I saved his life by not killing him
Peace

 

[Essie]

Definitely. I wasn't depressed until 4 mo ago when a doctor ruined my life. If he didn't I would be happy and living a normal life.

Shay, I know you are referring to some degree of baldness from Ambien, if I remember correctly from other things I read in passing. I had the same thing happen to me 11 yrs ago from a Benedryl overdose that I tried to treat with ipecac but did not vomit, so I went to Emergency Care. They gave me charcoal. It took over an hour to vomit that, so it was in my system for 2-3 hrs. The shock caused about 50% (or more) of hair to fall over the course of a year. It came out at the highest rate of 800 strands a day (a full handful). At about the 1 year mark from when it happened, it was growing back. You will notice it first at the forehead if you still have some hair because you'll see tons of strands sticking straight up. As it gets longer, you will look like a chia-head, if you know what a chia pet was. But it takes a bit to see it through other hair if you still have some left.

I don't think I can PM you yet (or maybe I don't know how). I hope you see this so you know there is some hope that it can grow back. (Maybe if someone knows this member well they can point her to this post.) Google the hair loss/growth cycles to get a full understanding of how it works. Feel free to contact me to get the full story of what happened if you want, because I know of a ton of treatment options you can try that are not that common. But mine grew back naturally. I was an otherwise healthy FEMALE and ate well at the time. But this incident did spark a terrible panic disorder that lasted 2 years. However, even in the midst of a terrible panic disorder with all sorts of the physical symptoms of panic attacks, my hair still grew back.

Edit to add: Oh, and the Benedryl OD happened in April. In August, a Dr gave me Lexapro to treat the panic, and I was severely allergic to it and developed hives, went manic, got heartburn so bad it felt I was burning alive, and it depleted my electrolytes so bad I could not walk till I drank bottles and bottles of Gatorade. And my hair STILL grew back the following spring.

 

[Sayo]

Yes. I have someone I wish I could spend forever with. I'll never get away from myself though and it'll be incredibly hard for us to be together. You can't be with your lover 24/7, you can be trapped round the clock with your dissatisfaction, awareness of failure, neuroses, hallucinations, and mood swings until you ctb.

I also wish they were better just in general. I don't believe the endpoint of life is my perception of it; I've proven incapable of taking opportunities to be a little more happy while oblivious to suffering.

I post many bitter things on here, and I've been in abusive and predatory relationships since I was 12, but I really believe in love, if it weren't for love I would have no regrets except being unable to do what I believe is my duty.

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

Definitely. I wasn't depressed until 4 mo ago when a doctor ruined my life. If he didn't I would be happy and living a normal life.

I'm sorry. I hope things get better for you

That's why I love sleep: it's the only time when I don't have to face how horrid this life is.

Sleeping is great. Waking up is a nightmare

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

Of course. I would give what little I have left to have my old friend back. She's all I need but she doesn't care

keep trying

Yes. I don't really want to die. But death is pretty attractive since I'm been struggling most of my life. Wish I wasn't so fucked up and traumatized and had the ability to be content.

i have major depression and complex ptsd

My Dr prescribed a dangerous combo of meds after I told him I was taking natural supplements. He said it was okay to take, after taking them two days I told my fiance that I wanted to stop them since j was getting sick and we were on vacation. She got angry like a a-hole that she was and demanded I keep taking them. I didn't want to deal with any silent treatment and two weeks later I suffered brain, kidney, muscle and nerve damage....ruined my life x10.
To top it off, when I told my fiance what happened she completely didn't give a shit. Probably should've gone berserk and burned the house down etc

Sorry, that's horrible. Hope things get better for u

 

[2Min2Midnight]

No, I actually want to just stop existing. I'm very tired of life and I don't enjoy anything anyway, there are no things that are so good that they would make me want to live. I want to have no thoughts, no memories, no feelings or senses, no desires. Just the perfect nothingness.

My first post here but I just had to respond to this as it resonates with me so completely. All I want is to cease to exist, complete and utter oblivion for all time.

 

[Why you?]

i do. The sadder and lonelier I get the more I just want to connect with people.

Death is attractive when I don't feel lonely or sad but just miserable and fed up with life.

Yes, I do. I very desperately want things to get better.

My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.
-Rumi

Never going to date again though. Too much pain

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
-Rumi

 

[azucaramargo]

Death is attractive when I don't feel lonely or sad but just miserable and fed up with life.

Sorry, did you mean life is attractive when you don't feel lonely or sad?

Never going to date again though. Too much pain

Please don't give up on love, @Sun Stealer.