Sylveon
??/??/20??
- Oct 10, 2023
- 491
Even if my mental state were at 180 degrees, I don't think that I would voluntarily wanna live the life that's ahead of me. I can't see myself holding a stable job, getting close to people, or forming meaningful relationships, and even if, by some miracle, I did succeed in those aspects, I still don't find the life that's ahead of me particularly interesting to want to live.
The only thing that gives me joy are my distractions, but even that happiness doesn't feel genuine. I can't seem to find anything that gives me genuine pleasure. When I look at myself now and the life that lies ahead of me, I see even less reason to continue. I look at those around me being optimistic about their future and talking about starting families and whatnot, and it makes me feel even more aware of the void that is inside of me.
It makes me feel really guilty because my life isn't inherently bad. I know that many people out there would kill to have a normal life like mine, and it just makes me hate myself even more. I feel like I wasn't meant to be here.
The only thing that gives me joy are my distractions, but even that happiness doesn't feel genuine. I can't seem to find anything that gives me genuine pleasure. When I look at myself now and the life that lies ahead of me, I see even less reason to continue. I look at those around me being optimistic about their future and talking about starting families and whatnot, and it makes me feel even more aware of the void that is inside of me.
It makes me feel really guilty because my life isn't inherently bad. I know that many people out there would kill to have a normal life like mine, and it just makes me hate myself even more. I feel like I wasn't meant to be here.