Anyone else hanging on for the hopes of a romantic interest?

[vizualbandtit]

I've gone through every feeling in the derealised state of my brain and none of them interest me except romance. And I don't know, over the years I've used romantic maladaptive daydreams to cope so much it's honestly exhausting. Sometimes I fantasize someone watching my dead body while I'm hanging, like an admirer. it's chipping away at me, knowing real romance could never ever live upto my expectations, especially because I'm so disconnected from my emotions and numb. Any romantic encounter ive ever had has been so frail and pointless. Even in my death I'd probably be thinking of a prince charming coming and sweeping me out of my misery. I feel so fucking pointless every time I think about the fact that the ONLY thing that matters to me in this life is to find a lover. the ONLY thing that validates me in making my art at this point is putting it out for someone to think I'm cool or how i dress or appear to subconsciously impress someone and I'm SICK I'm SO SICK I can't even live for myself. But i won't let my life just go. Because of this bullshit.

 

[theboy]

why do you call in sick?
I sometimes fantasize about death too.

 

[Agon321]

No, I don't want to harm anyone ;). I'm 20 years old (21 this year) and I've never even kissed or "seriously" hugged. I feel very uncomfortable in such situations. Most likely, I can't get into a serious relationship with any girl. Another thing is that I like loneliness and I don't like responsibilities. I'm a huge slacker. Someone like me shouldn't even have a girlfriend. From the point of view of nature, I am a loser :). As for your situation, unfortunately I cannot help. I'm the last person in the world you should go to for advice on something like this. I just hope you find someone who reciprocates your feelings.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I honestly don't believe in it or friendship.

To me people are only with others because it nets them bonuses and resources. It completely nullifies any "Unconditional" in my viewpoint.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

kids are funny
i didn't mean to degrade you because i thought you were young.. i am sorry about that

 

[vizualbandtit]

kids are funny
i didn't mean to degrade you because i thought you were young.. i am sorry about that

No that's alright, it is pretty trivial looking back it it comes off silly

 

[astonishedturnip]

Yes, always. A loyal, respectful and supportive lover would legitimately solve 90% of my problems.

 

[MiMif]

I won't lie...I'm an avid romance reader I absolutely love it.

However I can't imagine myself in that position at all and I would be too difficult of a partner for anyone to deal with so no.

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

wanting someone to love you is not pathetic. it's a basic human want (debatably a need as well.)
the picture of someone admiring my hanging body is pleasing.
this modern day romance is so sickening at times. it's all about hookup culture and how many 'bodies' you can get. i completely feel you when you say "knowing real romance could never ever live upto my expectations."

 

[sserafim]

Lmao I could care less about romance but I do wish my crush would talk to me again…I don't know why he stopped talking to me. I wish I could be his friend again

 

[SexyIncél]

The need for connection is crushing. Few know basic skills: conversation, conflict-resolution, team decisionmaking, figuring out the other's interests, removing obstacles...

Many advisors spam "Break up!" for the simplest problems, without investigating deeper. Or sneaky deceitful tactics, when they could simply... request it

 

[Hotsackage]

Would be nice, but scars left will never be healed.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Would've been nice once upon a time but too good to be true most of the time and it seems to regret, anger, lies and hurt at the end of it.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Never would I want any romantic relationship with a human nor anything except non-existence . I'm So beyond that garbage and everything in life

 

[sserafim]

Never would I want any romantic relationship with a human nor anything except non-existence . So beyond that garbage and everything in life

"Life sucks and then you die"

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yep. I'm hanging on for this reason too even though my person of interest has lately been ignoring me intentionally. Probably because I messed up somewhere and because even when I do get any time alone around her I still get extremely terrified and nervous and unable to speak properly.

 

[ctbcat]

i have what someone would maybe consider a crush, but frankly i don't feel like inconveniencing her with myself. she's mentally ill but stable - she doesn't want to kill herself for the most part i figure, or if she does it never goes beyond a want. i can't fuck that up for her. i would love to have a love though, yeah. a love just as sick as me... i'm so lonely. i'd love to feel the warmth of someone with my same sorrow, say i need to kill myself and instead of concern and overwhelming reactions, they'd just look back at me with understanding.

i'm gonna stop spouting conjecture now. lol. but it's human to desire love, i suppose...

 

[Aim]

I would love to meet the love of my life, but I also want to not to be a mental health patient in the relationship. (Btw, there is nothing wrong with this, these are just my basic standards)

So I guess no. :(

 

[mtoro998]

I still have hope that I can resolve things with my wife. She even told me she still loved me the other day. Truly it is the only thing I still have hope for these days. If it doesnt work out im going to get my sn out or whatever method of my choosing.

 

[destinationlosangel]

love is great. it is a great feeling to love and be loved. im glad i was able to experience it. thing tho, about love. It always happens when u least expect it. Atleast thats how it was for me. I guess the universe kinda sends u on an adventure. I hope we all experience this in one way or the other.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I really relate. When I was younger, I went through a few rounds of limerence- crazy, obsessive crushes on guys. Now, I'm much more controlled about it. But, I still disappear into fictional delusions of romance. I guess it just makes life more interesting but there's a sting in the tail because it can lead to feeling sad you never had and likely never will experience the real thing.

I'm not convinced the real thing is actually like that though. Even good relationships I know of don't in fact look that great! (To me anyhow.) I wouldn't say I'm exactly holding on or holding out hope that I'll ever experience it but the past couple of days, I've had that familiar sad feeling that it's something I missed out on and maybe something that would have changed everything around.

But, that's really only because I'm at the beginning of a stupid new crush! At least I've got to know my crazy stages of emotions. That at least means I don't get quite so swept up in them. I have to laugh at myself really. I know how pathetic it is. I'm sorry though. It's painful too.

 

[casual_existence]

People have a severely warped sense of romance and love which I think can be blamed on modern media culture. Hell even the current notion of love is new.

 

[destinationlosangel]

People have a severely warped sense of romance and love which I think can be blamed on modern media culture. Hell even the current notion of love is new.

True that. Not every relationship is like a fairytale romance. but i think it helps if the foundation is strong. And by strong foundation, i mean a strong friendship.

 

[hadenough58]

Would be nice, but scars left will never be healed.

They say "It is better to have loved and lost rather than never loved at all" but I am not sure that is true as you cannot really miss what you never had?

 

[BlendedHeart]

I've craved for that my whole life, but after a few very short term relationships and many rejections, I feel so unloveable that even in my romantic maladaptative daydreams my partners end up leaving me. That is the first time I've told that to anyone, and it feels funny and pathetic at the same time.

 

[Rockman]

Not at all. Im not crazy to this level.

 

[RemainingDubious]

Nope.

 

[tbroken]

I honestly don't believe in it or friendship.

To me people are only with others because it nets them bonuses and resources. It completely nullifies any "Unconditional" in my viewpoint.

These are my same exact thoughts about relationships.
I just need a good job and live in a decent place(mid-large town), without unrealistic expectations
Relationships side I'm more a 2020 guy(despite me being 30+), i like to hangout with friends for beers or travels, videogames, etc.. and if ladies are interested we can do something together... I don't like morbid love or friendships, and i act the same with my family.
Love can be a good thing, but in my region, women use it to steal from man( ).

 

[pilotviolin]

to be honest, sometimes yes, i am craving a painting of love, the feeling you get from looking at a candid photo online, a painting that wows you, i say painting and image of because im sure being in an actual romantic relationship is only 5% painting lol. im sorry to hear you are in pain though OP, its tiring, being lonely and then everything else that comes with it. you say it is silly, and i understand, sometimes logic isnt always at play and its useful to change lens, but i get the raw feeling is gnawing.

 

[divinemistress36]

I think it's unhealthy to pursue relationships when one is mentally unstable . It usually ends in disaster