Anyone else going in January?

[DreamEnd]

Anybody planning to ctb this month?

 

[Timetoleave1]

Yes.

 

[spinningship]

50/50 depends how college return goes

 

[peacetime]

Yes, my SN from IC is coming next week most likely. It's going to go through customs though and I have no idea if it will pass through? I live in Finland.
I've got other SN coming from inside of Europe, but the source is less trustworthy. That should arrive next week as well I guess.

If I had SN today this would be my last day. I don't know what the fuck I will do between here and then. I guess I will still seek out random shit to do "maybe I will change my mind"... I won't. I don't think I will any way. I've wanted to die from ever since I was around 12, and my life is objectively ruined by my mental illness at this point, and there's literally no reason to think I won't just fuck things up again and again. I don't desire anything in life either, except "food pleasure". So eating like a pig for 50 years is what I could look towards, nothing else. No achievements I seek out.

 

[my-end]

Idk why I haven't gone yet, little details and concerns for others. I have the means, SI was a problem, likely still is. I'd like to go this month, next week even. Every time I put myself (in my mind) in THAT place of attempting, I have a burst of anxiety and I can feel the ball of energy in my chest then it radiates to my abdomen. The longer I go, the less anxious I've been.
I had an attempt nearly a year ago before I started researching; I tried electrocution. 120V isn't enough to stop the heart fast enough before the pain kicks in. I had no anxiety then.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I'm between a couple weeks from now or a year from now. Just deciding if I'm going to sign a lease if I can hold on for another year. I'm leaning towards January though.

 

[Fulminare]

Yeah, I'll be going this month. Somewhat depends on the quality of the SN I'll receive soon, but my hopes are up.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm debating currently, I don't have anything planned so if I did, it would be sporadic, I suppose I'll wait and see. Likely just going to keep lurking here, it's nice to be around like-minded people who don't judge.

 

[FallFadesIntoWinter]

Yep, me too (in the next couple of weeks).

I have my SN now, just waiting for my dad to come back from his vacation (after Jan. 14th) to do it because I don't want him to cancel his plans on account of me.

I won't lie though, there is a feeling of relief combined with being scared and wondering if I did try everything to prevent this from happening too.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Maybe, we'll see.

 

[almostoutofhere]

Whenever I get my sn, so about 2 weeks from now

 

[hiddenbpd]

I really, really wanted to, but I've had to change my plans.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I've been planning for the 10th but I may do it more toward the end of the week, or the next week.

 

[Obliviate]

hopefully yes

 

[readytosleep4eva]

yes by the end of the month, i am out

 

[Mia11]

I'll have to wait until spring, hopefully not too much longer. I need to wait until my so goes on a business trip so I'll be the one to find the SN package. Hope it won't be more than 3 months. I've been suicidal since 2017 and it got much worse in 2021. It won't get better, I know that with certainty. For those leaving in January, that saddens me, it really does but I so understand.