Anyone else get the vibe of like being "post mortem" or already dead while being on this forum?

[Csmith8827]

I do. Like I still try to live life but it's like in an afterlife? or even like how Keanu Reeves was waiting in that train station in the matrix reloaded. Like i feel like I'm just waiting to die almost. I've hit a wall kinda...like...these people want me to do something that I don't want to do but there being very ugly about my answer of No. It's completely fucked up how there being about it but yeah...anyone else get the vibe we're kinda already dead just by being a member of our family though?

 

[Malcolm Yarfa]

I feel completely dead and void inside. The little energy I have is focused on trying to find a peaceful way to ctb. So I get what you mean.

 

[SamTam33]

I don't understand. What people? What do they want you to do? What are you saying no to?

 

[Csmith8827]

I don't understand. What people? What do they want you to do? What are you saying no to?

My parents basically. Some sort of like "Christian Rehab..." or faith-based...and I'm not going.

I guess its because we're all ready to ctb we just don't have a means to? That's why we're all post mortem.

 

[SamTam33]

My parents basically. Some sort of like "Christian Rehab..." or faith-based...and I'm not going.

I guess its because we're all ready to ctb we just don't have a means to? That's why we're all post mortem.

I don't blame you.

My dad forced me to go to church once. It was around Easter where the preacher puts a cross on your head with ashes. I ducked when he tried to touch my forehead (like Neo in the Matrix dodging bullets).

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never really felt alive at all, instead I've only ever just existed. I know that I was never meant to be here and I've never wished to associate with life in any way, I just exist only because I haven't managed to bring myself to find a way to leave yet, I always feel trapped in this existence. Of course if I had a straightforward suicide method with limited risks involved I would be long gone by this point. But I do believe that many people likely just die inside while they are still here breathing, it's what this existence does to people.

 

[outrider567]

Yes I felt dead also when she died

 

[Csmith8827]

Yes I felt dead also when she died

she? who is she?

 

[outrider567]

she? who is she?

Sorry--My life partner girlfriend of 35 years died last January 24th--That's why I'm here

 

[Csmith8827]

Sorry--My life partner girlfriend of 35 years died last January 24th--That's why I'm here

I'm so sorry to hear that. You have my greatest and deepest condolences.

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

I've started to gravitate towards this site like I'm gonna click a random thread and it's going to open a magical portal and all I gotta do is be encapsulated by it to ctb… I feel like a shitting teary-eyed corpse… all but dead … a skeleton that still reaches for my vape or pipe just for something to do …

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Always, Not just here but in every day life. Just going through the motions until I am no more. Just remember when there was a small time in life I was happy, had friends and company, there wasn't a dull moment and was actually happy to be alive. That was a LONG time ago. as far as I'm concerned I died at 18 years of age, remained a "corpse" since then. there were too little good of moments that existed since then.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

I do. Like I still try to live life but it's like in an afterlife? or even like how Keanu Reeves was waiting in that train station in the matrix reloaded. Like i feel like I'm just waiting to die almost. I've hit a wall kinda...like...these people want me to do something that I don't want to do but there being very ugly about my answer of No. It's completely fucked up how there being about it but yeah...anyone else get the vibe we're kinda already dead just by being a member of our family though?

I feel like this could be The Duat. I've always felt like I was already dead. The Bible says the dead won't even know they are dead. Think about this life for one second and ask yourself if this is truly living. Sometimes it feels like a dream within a dream. Who knows.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I just go through the motions of life, too. It isn't living by any stretch of that word. It's existing at best, and not even that, really. Really has nothing to do with Sasu or being a member of this postmortem community. I felt like that long before I even found this site. I'll get to where I need to be. I'm on the right road.

 

[lachrymost]

I barely even had a chance to live and now I'll be a zombie until my dying day. I wish I could at least be a vampire or something sexy.

 

[savoytruffle]

i feel like a zombie living on borrowed time

 

[MideonNViscera]

Sort of. I definitely get what you're saying. Personally I have tied up all of the loose ends and am just waiting for SN to arrive. The next few days, well, I dunno what the fuck I am going to do besides lay in bed.

 

[freedompass]

I feel like this could be The Duat. I've always felt like I was already dead. The Bible says the dead won't even know they are dead. Think about this life for one second and ask yourself if this is truly living. Sometimes it feels like a dream within a dream. Who knows.

I like to think of it as not entirely real. A dream, a simulation. That gives me the comfort of realising that nothing really matters so I might as well chill. The sense of being postmortem I totally get. I do often think I might have passed on without realising it. Wouldn't that be great. 10/10 peaceful 10/10 painless. The perfect ctb wish fulfilment

 

[Csmith8827]

I like to think of it as not entirely real. A dream, a simulation. That gives me the comfort of realising that nothing really matters so I might as well chill.

Even if it was a dream/simulation I think it still matters...the relationships we've built and had while being here matter...whether or not those people were entirely real or not. It still matters and has meaning IMO...if even on a purely existentialist level...

 

[outrider567]

Certainly feel half-dead last 10 months, maybe more than half dead