Discussion Anyone else feels old?

[AnnaJaspers]

God yes I feel exactly the same way.. spending more and more time alone researching methods and reading stuff on this site. But I've never felt more like I'm looking forward to escape and death. It's an exhilarating feeling.

It is exhilarating to feel that we may achieve total freedom! How long have you been feeling such pain that led to this? For me it's been my entire life but particularly acute and sustained for the past three years now.

 

[Bathsheba]

It is exhilarating to feel that we may achieve total freedom! How long have you been feeling such pain that led to this? For me it's been my entire life but particularly acute and sustained for the past three years now.

The past 28 years really.. from age 15.. but similar to you, it's intensified massively these past 2 years. I'm feeling the same as you.. totally exhilarated at the thought of freedom. It's blissful.

 

[justanotherday]

I failed in my profession, in finding and keeping a partner, in accumulating a secure financial future, in finding and keeping friends, in helping myself become a better human.

I failed at those same things too.

 

[AnnaJaspers]

I failed at those same things too.

mine was epic failure. Epic as in: no recovery and I went out in FLAMES.

 

[AspergersX]

Does anyone else here feel old? Im only 20, but feel physically and mentally much older. But i dont look necessarily older. Or do you look much older than your age too? Do you lack energy too, despite being young? Is this a reason too, why you want to ctb?

38 years old here and I look mid to late 20's despite the gray hair ...I felt the same when I was your age because I never understood or enjoyed the things or trends that were going on at time when you are different you feel old!

 

[nzdarkshark]

I'm probably one of the youngest on this forum, but I relate. I feel old, drained - I shouldn't but I do.
Tired of life.

 

[IsadoraBeauxdraps]

I'm 33 but feel 80. It's definitely the end of my life as far as I'm concerned.

I feel that way. I remind me my grandma when she was 90 and she often cried thinking about her past.

 

[AnnaJaspers]

I'm probably one of the youngest on this forum, but I relate. I feel old, drained - I shouldn't but I do.
Tired of life.

If you are one of the youngest on this forum, kindly get out of this thread. thanks.

 

[nzdarkshark]

If you are one of the youngest on this forum, kindly get out of this thread. thanks.

I don't think you need to be so hostile, but ok.

 

[Hexen]

That's a tough one for me. I remember (and miss) pre-internet and mobile ph



Fuck social media outlets and the growing expectations that accompany them as well.

Remember when an email/phone number was enough? Maybe a website(?)

I didnt get to experience 90s really but I did have those first 5 years from 95 until 2000. Even up until like 2004 I had great time. Christmas was more meaningful, climate was more balanced?, kids were still on street playing. Overall that time had more spirit and color, these days everything is so bleak. And what you said about social media. It has its benefits and its very helpful you can dm someone all the time but it kills that mysterious element. Its not very interesting to know everything and everyone.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm 42 and feel much older. My mental state has definitely went down hill since my 30's. I had no idea I would be this much of a loner. I should have guessed since I was not having kids, relationships not working out, trouble with employment, loner as a kid too a lot of the time.

 

[nothingleft]

I'm in my early twenties, but I feel younger than my age because of all the things I've missed out on due to long bouts of depression and anxiety. It makes getting older feel more depressing and somehow disconnected, if that makes any sense.

 

[Dartz]

I feel like I already missed out on half a dozen eras I should've been born into. Now I'm a shell, feeling vague nostalgia for a time I've never know at just 22 years old. In the past 6 years my mind has warped ahead a few decades and my body just follows suit even though it shouldn't.

 

[cherub]

I feel old and young simultaneously. Old in that I feel tired of participating in the motions of life after being worn out by trauma and mental illness, yet young because mental illness has caused me to become so inhibited and isolated that I have less life experience than expected of someone my age.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I remember feeling old when I was 19-turning-20 and had a lot of unfulfilled desires from my adolescence. It took getting into my mid-20's to realize that I wasn't really all that old at all. I still wish I could relive 13-25 but I wouldn't feel "old" until I reached 40. At the rate I'm going, I'm 100% sure I won't even reach 30.

 

[Userloser2]

34 going on 80.

 

[Kiwi]

37 going on 120

 

[Tom9999]

I'm older than half a century, but I feel like a teenager.

This is a product of recovery.

Before recovery, I felt ancient and always identified as an "old soul". This was because I had so many unresolved childhood issues preventing me from fully living in the present. So I always lived mostly from my childhood with a little in the here and now. This prevented me from anchoring anywhere in time, so I felt I was nowhere in time, hence an "old soul".

After working through my childhood issues in recovery, I function almost 100% in the here and now because my history has been deenergized. As a result I always feel like a teenager - but unfortunately that does not mean the world sees me as one :-(

 

[mathieu]

I'm 28 and I feel old as fuck. Weary of life.

 

[burnedCookie]

Just turned 40. Mentally I feel like I'm already dead. It's almost like I've become mentally slow, I can't even think too much because it drains the small amount of energy I have left.
Physically I'm not that bad for my age, but depression and medication screw you up over the long term, puffy eyes, brain fog and blurry vision, weight loss, permanent exhaustion etc...

The day I'll have to sit down to put on my socks then I'll know it's the end :)

 

[peacefully31425]

Yeah, I feel really old. It feels like these past few years gave gone by in an instant.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

That's a tough one for me. I remember (and miss) pre-internet and mobile phone days. I know that gets me nowhere, but I can't stand the expectation of practically always being reachable/available/message ready, etc.

It's uncomfortable.

Fuck social media outlets and the growing expectations that accompany them as well.

Remember when an email/phone number was enough? Maybe a website(?)

Now if you don't have buttons for your FB, Twitter, linked in, snapchat and instagram (at least), you're nobody, really.

There should be a much larger resistance to social media. It's fake, poisonous, narcissistic depravity at best.

It'll only get worse from here.

One day in the not so distant future, those who are not videoing every living moment of their lives and broadcasting them to multiple live access channels WILL be outright shunned virtually and publicly humiliated.

Such attempts at any form of privacy will be viewed with growing distaste until finally made illegal.
That will mark the beginning of a new era that not only doesn't prize individuality but actually punishes it.

Just my opinion.

This post deserves it own thread it is insanely accurate!

 

[truthseeker]

At 56 perhaps I'm closer than I'd like to think but as my health continues to deteriorate due to chronic illnesses I am feeling old and breaking down. This year it's been one thing after another. For the first time I'm feeling like I can't handle all that's on my plate alone. I've started to reach out which feels so strange as I'm used to doing everything alone. Not that I had anyone but that's another subject.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I sometimes feel I will be proping up the bar in Milliways long after the last star has burned out.

 

[BlueWidow]

I started feeling old and tired of being alive when I was only 12. At the time, I felt like I was about 80 years old. I just turned 50 this year, so you can imagine how old I feel now.
I never wanted to live this long. And one of my most hated phrases in the entire English language is "But you're still young".
A person's chronological age means absolutely nothing. It's how you feel that counts (Quality over quantity ) and I've felt like I was old and tired for a long long time and every year I feel more old and more tired than I did before. The only good thing about living as long as I have is that I've pretty much outlived everyone that I was worried about hurting when I ctb. Now I can do it with no worries and no feelings of guilt at all.
At this point, it feels like I've lived for a thousand years. I am so ready to get out of here.

 

[Rachel74]

I'm 44 and feel ancient and look it x

 

[LastFlowers]

yea

 

[Sweet emotion]

Yes I feel very old. I am 34 but I died at age 20 when I got Complex regional pain syndrome which just brought my life to a standstill. So it's like I aged 14 years over night. I feel really old physically because my body hasn't been able to do things that a 20-34 year old can do.

 

[lymestolemylife]

Does anyone else here feel old? Im only 20, but feel physically and mentally much older. But i dont look necessarily older. Or do you look much older than your age too? Do you lack energy too, despite being young? Is this a reason too, why you want to ctb?

I've been feeling old now for 20 years. I have chronic Lyme and Epstien Barr Virus. For 20 years i've been enduring , pushing through, hoping, telling myself things will get better when i can't get out of bed which is most of the time. Lately i'm just pissed at God that he would allow humans to suffer in these circumstances.

 

[R_N]

I am 30 but it feels like I lived enough. They say life is short but to me it feels too long. People say I look younger than I am but I feel old inside.

I just want a change. I don't feel comfortable in my skin anymore. It has to end.