Venting anyone else feels like this?

[reismisery]

has anyone else reached that point when you lost all hope and now feel like nothing matters? like..absolutely nothing?

you see a game you want to play or a movie you want to watch but it doesn't matter, because you'll die soon.
you want to read a book but it doesn't matter, because you'll die soon.
you favorite a video online but it won't matter when your dead.
you want to buy something or brush your teeth or take a shower or eat but it doesn't matter, because you'll die soon anyways.

 

[FuneralCry]

There was never any hope to lose, existing was always something hopeless that could never be desirable under any circumstances. Existence in the first place was a horrific mistake and it's the truth that existing is so incredibly pointless, we are only waiting around to die and everything that humans do is just a distraction from the fact that they are destined for nothing and nowhere but to cease existing where everything will finally be forgotten about.

 

[Zegers]

Kind of. I'm not really interested in anything anymore. Apathy suffuse everything.

 

[overtakee]

May sound weird but I hope I'll experience this soon, I just want to feel numb at this point.

 

[Hollowman]

Every day for many years.

 

[TheHuman]

If you plan on ctbing soon keep up with your hygiene, since poor hygiene is a very sure fire way for other to detect depression since you have a loss of motivation for the most basic things. However even if you don't plan on it please just keep up with basic hygiene unless you want to be sent to a mental ward. Just stay vigilant to prevent signs from showing.

 

[sorrowful]

Yes. I do not try to keep friendships, relationships, with people. It doesn't matter. I cannot clean my room or take care of myself properly. Any show that I am interested in that has a new season or such coming out in more than a year, guess I won't be seeing it.

I believe I absolutely cannot turn back from this point. I will only be freed from my suffering at death.

 

[Lucilius]

In my experience, people will internally mock you or judge you for having poor hygiene, but they won't be worried. They like judging others and feeling superior to them, not be worried about them. Poor hygiene, if anything, will make them see you as being of "lower value" and thus less worthy of taking care of.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

has anyone else reached that point when you lost all hope and now feel like nothing matters? like..absolutely nothing?

you see a game you want to play or a movie you want to watch but it doesn't matter, because you'll die soon.
you want to read a book but it doesn't matter, because you'll die soon.
you favorite a video online but it won't matter when your dead.
you want to buy something or brush your teeth or take a shower or eat but it doesn't matter, because you'll die soon anyways.

I can fully confirm all you points. The "rational part of me" lost all hope and all motivation to try to go on especially in the past few weeks and the desire to CTB becomes stronger and stronger every day. But there is the other "irrational part of me" making me hestitate but doesn't give me any motivation.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Yes, I've been at this point for a long time now.
I'm just a dead man walking.
Alive on the outside.
Dead on the inside.
Absolutely nothing in this world would make me want to live anymore.

 

[reismisery]

If you plan on ctbing soon keep up with your hygiene, since poor hygiene is a very sure fire way for other to detect depression since you have a loss of motivation for the most basic things. However even if you don't plan on it please just keep up with basic hygiene unless you want to be sent to a mental ward. Just stay vigilant to prevent signs from showing.

i show a lot of signs already. people don't care

I can fully confirm all you points. The "rational part of me" lost all hope and all motivation to try to go on especially in the past few weeks and the desire to CTB becomes stronger and stronger every day. But there is the other "irrational part of me" making me hestitate but doesn't give me any motivation.

yeah that's exactly how it feels

In my experience, people will internally mock you or judge you for having poor hygiene, but they won't be worried. They like judging others and feeling superior to them, not be worried about them. Poor hygiene, if anything, will make them see you as being of "lower value" and thus less worthy of taking care of.

yeah. a lot of people mock me and judge me a lot for it and call me 'lazy' even though i've completely lost all motivation.

 

[Zegers]

I feel like my body connected to the earth is dead, my soul is in a kind of limbo waiting to join the beyond.

 

[reismisery]

I feel like my body connected to the earth is dead, my soul is in a kind of limbo waiting to join the beyond.

yup. truly how it feels.