Venting Anyone else feel useless like no matter what you do it's just not enough?

[Walk]

I'll start out by saying this, I'm a people-pleasing, social-anxiety, autistic mess. I used to work a normal job as a dietary aide at a nursing home and I was constantly being ridiculed by my co-workers but at the same time they'd always try to call me in cause they "need" me.

I've worked at that place for almost 5 years. I used to like the place until I started working full-time there and things went to hell really quickly. 8 hours a day of constant running around really wore me out but the constant insults I got there made me want to leave but the manager doesnt want me to leave, otherwise I'd be "letting down the team" despite the team letting my fucking mental health down.

What I'm trying to say is, I can never win. I'll get mentally abused and feel worthless at any job I try my hardest at. If I were to commit suicide, they'd question why I would without even thinking about how they treated me. This world is fucking cruel!

 

[ijustwishtodie]

In my case, it's more so that I can't do anything due to how weak I am mentally. Life is so much pain for me to properly try. I wish I could be dead as then I wouldn't have to function ever again and that, to me, is pure bliss. There's nothing more blissful to me than not having to think or experience or feel or do anything for the rest of eternity. My idea of heaven is permanent non existence

 

[doormat25]

I'll start out by saying this, I'm a people-pleasing, social-anxiety, autistic mess. I used to work a normal job as a dietary aide at a nursing home and I was constantly being ridiculed by my co-workers but at the same time they'd always try to call me in cause they "need" me.

I've worked at that place for almost 5 years. I used to like the place until I started working full-time there and things went to hell really quickly. 8 hours a day of constant running around really wore me out but the constant insults I got there made me want to leave but the manager doesnt want me to leave, otherwise I'd be "letting down the team" despite the team letting my fucking mental health down.

What I'm trying to say is, I can never win. I'll get mentally abused and feel worthless at any job I try my hardest at. If I were to commit suicide, they'd question why I would without even thinking about how they treated me. This world is fucking cruel!

I feel this way often.

 

[matt1968]

Yes I've done this and experienced similar in numerous jobs. I'm off work and struggling to want to be alive.

Sending you my best wishes.