Discussion Anyone else feel they genuinely are a burden?

[PurrpTypeFeel]

I'm a firm believer that most problems can be solved, most people will be in a tiny depression once and then bounce back and live happy, they'll *feel* like a burden, but they aren't one. But it's me, people like me, people like us actually, that genuinely do have unsolveable problems, telling my problems to other people just hurts us both because, for example, I'm really good at helping people, I'm very empathetic and can tell people the right words to make them not sad, but my depression is so deep-rooted that I can't tell myself anything to make it better, and other people, as much as they'd like to try, cannot ever help me because my problems are way beyond anything else, I genuinely *am* a burden

 

[umjammertranner]

Every day of my life. Whether that's emotional, financial, or whatever; I feel like a waste of resources that will never amount to anything.

 

[PurrpTypeFeel]

Every day of my life. Whether that's emotional, financial, or whatever; I feel like a waste of resources that will never amount to anything.

Yeah, me too. Come to think of it, most people don't ever seriously consider CTB, it's only people like us, that have an infinitely strong problem, and of course the only infinitely strong solution is to CTB

 

[Dead Ghost]

Of course I am a burden, I have always been, only now it is more evident because of my age and because I do not have enough money to live by myself outside the family environment.
But being a burden is not enough to want the CTB, there are many more things that happen to me on a personal level that make me suffer too much every day and that bring me little by little closer to a solution that I do not like at all, how is the CTB.

//

Es clar que sóc una càrrega, sempre ho he estat, només que ara es fa més palés per l'edat que tinc i perqué no tinc suficiència econòmica per viure per mi mateix fora de l'entorn familiar.
Però ser una càrrega no és prou per voler el CTB, són moltes mes coses que em succeixen a nivell personal que em fan patir massa cada día i que m'apropen poc a poc a una sol·lució que no m'agrada pas gens, com és el CTB.

 

[damnatio memoriae]

Same. I've never done one good thing for my family. Only leeched off of them. Failure of a human in general

 

[Borgrot]

I'm not just a burden, I'm a curse. I watch the people I love suffer because of me, if I try to help them they get hurt if I try to not help they get hurt. I bring everyone down, I make everyone's life worse, I am a benefit to no-one and a sore on the arse of existence.

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

yeah same , even though I feel very nihilistic about everything, I still think that there would be a net positive outcome to a CBT because I'll stop being a leech and take up space in this household

 

[CentreMid]

Absolutely. As I tell my partner, there are just some problems that cannot be solved. As much as I wish she and others could help me, sometimes their "help" makes things worse, even though they mean no harm. It sucks and is so, so frustrating

 

[Danielwc]

I personally feel suicide is societies problem. It's an extreme reaction to the shit they're passing off as existence. For some of us, life as it stands is not enough. We see through the bullshit and pretence. Perhaps we're not born for this world and our passing is a lesson for humanity. I have given enough warnings to those around me and they have failed. I do hope it fucking hurts when I go and I make the maximum impact. If I did become a burden and I'm gone, well you can live your best life now?

 

[SilentSadness]

I don't care much for whether I am a burden, even if I am then others are obliged to put up with me. Otherwise they can let me have the peaceful death I wish for.

 

[giverupper24]

I'm a firm believer that most problems can be solved, most people will be in a tiny depression once and then bounce back and live happy, they'll *feel* like a burden, but they aren't one. But it's me, people like me, people like us actually, that genuinely do have unsolveable problems, telling my problems to other people just hurts us both because, for example, I'm really good at helping people, I'm very empathetic and can tell people the right words to make them not sad, but my depression is so deep-rooted that I can't tell myself anything to make it better, and other people, as much as they'd like to try, cannot ever help me because my problems are way beyond anything else, I genuinely *am* a burden

Absolutely, I feel my fate as a person is to amount to nothing. If I was a number I wouldn't even be zero - I'd just be a negative number. If anything, I use up my family's resources (home + food) and they always make me feel terrible about it but I can't blame them, it is my fault.
I used to think life was about solving problems; struggling, occasionally overcoming, and failure (to succeed). But now, I feel I'm an unsolvable problem. Genuine deep inside I feel I'm a messy jumble of mismatched puzzle pieces, never to be put together.

 

[ringo99]

I feel like a burden all the time. I can't learn new skills without a soul crushing amount of effort these days which is a huge problem given the kind of job I do. I constantly screw up all the time even with simple tasks. My mother is the exact opposite of me. A pillar of strength if I ever saw one despite her eye watering number of health problems that I feel totally helpless to do anything about given my financial situation. She's literally killing herself trying to prop me and my father up and it breaks my heart every day. My family is very dysfunctional and she's basically the glue holding it together but she's old and frail now. The amount of guilt I feel is like being stabbed in my abdomen with a red hot poker all the time. The only solace I have is that she has a good support system among relatives and her friends. So when I finally decide to ctb I have some comfort knowing that she'll be looked after. The few savings I have should last her a few years. It's the least I can do. The best decision I ever made was to stop dating and give up on the idea of relationships altogether. There's no way I'll ever infect another good human being with my sickness and force them to look after me. The day I find a way to painlessly ctb I'll make sure that my mom's taken care of at least financially for a short while

 

[stareoffintospace]

I understand how you feel. I never really saw the signs of my downfall until it happened. Now, I am a complete burden to my family. It did hurt my pride to end up this way in such a hard-working household.

I should have dreams at this point in time but I don't. I have no motivation to do anything productive. All I can do is hide from everyone in my room 24/7 because I am ashamed to show face in front of my family.

I'm aware that most problems are solvable, even my parents remind me that "I can do it because everyone else can." It makes me feel guilty for not trying to attempt the simplest things. I struggle to take responsibility for anything because I'm scared of failure and quitting again.

With all things considered, is this behavior a result of my laziness or mental health issues? I can never tell (because I wasn't formally diagnosed) so the line feels blurred to me.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

No. At all. As a matter of fact I feel other people are a burden to me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not at the moment but if I keep doing so badly at making money- I could well become a burden. Still, I know ultimately that I'll just try again at getting a shitty wage save job to try and avoid that... till I can CTB.

I don't know- it kind of annoys me. I'm guessing most people are feeling like a burden to their parents here. But then- why do parents have children? I think a lot have them in the hopes their children will look after them in the long term- perhaps they did that for their own parents. It just seems wrong though- like being born into slavery. Really- it's sort of insulting to say it I know- it's not to diminish how awful REAL slavery is/was but to some extent- we were all born into slavery. We are slaves to our bodies, genetics and whatever illnesses we will be naturally prone to. Most of us will have to work during our lives- to support ourselves. We didn't choose any of this- our parents did. You can't only choose to have a child if you know it's going to be successful. So- while I understand the guilt- and feel it myself, I utterly HATE this enormous burden I was given to begin with- to live and make a financial success of my life.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

Same, total burden here too.

 

[SoftWorries]

I feel more so that I was burdened with life. I don't want to struggle just to stay alive when I didn't choose it. Any other burden I place in the world is small compared to that.

 

[unnormal9]

Yes—being chronically suicidal will do that.

 

[hellispink]

I feel like a burden. But because others around me make me feel that way. I don't think neither me or any human being is a burden, no one shall be. But this world is cruel.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

yep. my whole existence has been a burden on everyone around me. everyone seems to be so annoyed just by the sight of me. everyone would be better off if i were dead.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

It's not really a new feeling, my parents had kids to get government aid and made us feel like burdens for needing basic necessities, safety, stability, and love. Their attitude, abuse and neglect made it a self fulfilling prophecy for some of us despite our best efforts to earn our keep while growing up. Nobody else has made me feel like that but the feeling has stuck with me, so I try to not be an emotional burden by masking as much as I can, making people laugh, and being helpful and supportive. But I can't change the fact that I'm financially dependent on a loved one because I can't work, so I'm thrifty, careful not to break or lose things, and don't eat much. It's hard not to feel like a burden if you don't possess the narcissistic sense of entitlement that pampered, spoilt, rich kids tend to have.

 

[charlotte_]

I've always felt like this. Even basic needs like food, water, a roof over my head, proper education or the right to express my negative emotions have been considered "too much" by the ones who were supposed to raise me well. Now that I grow up, I never feel like I can be close to anyone or belong anywhere. I always feel as if others would be better if I just end up dead. The fact that I can't suppress basic human needs is so incredibly humiliating to me, and I often feel like I'm selfish for having them

 

[Haruka]

All the time. It's so hard asking for things and I hate it, I'm so mentally tired and I hate asking for things and stepping in other's spaces :(

 

[annxietty]

Exiting my house is a huge deal for me, I have no job, I dont even study... I can say with confidence that im a burden, a huge one. Nobody smiles around me, I dont give my parents anything to be proud of, Im extremely unhappy and that makes people around me unhappy many times, my mom can talk to me and tell me a good thing (happens very rarely) and I cant enjoy it, over the time I learned to fake happiness.

 

[epic]

Yes I am a burden .
As a NEET . I only use up resources - space, electricity, oxygen, food and water . I am the hand who only takes and gives back nothing. I am a bad investment .
I hate to continue this way. I feel like my self-respect gets trampled on everyday.

 

[wiltingorchid]

Yes. If i do nothing, then I am worthless and useless to the people around me. And if I try to do something, I only upset and dissapoint others. No matter what I do. I make others feel worse, especially when telling them about my problems. People always tell you that you can talk about anything with them, but they don't know how to cope if you tell the that you want to kill yourself. They panic, they don't know what to do.

 

[soolka]

yes, im a burden to my family, boyfriend and the few online friends i have, in every way. i have always been a dissappointment and a waste of time, worries and money.

 

[AloeGarten]

same as some others here, im a neet, basically a parasite on my parents, i hate being like this but its not an easy situation to get out of. i feel guilty for just existing, i feel so guilty i get ashamed to speak and show my face. i feel like a burden because i am a burden

 

[Callie Arcale]

I don't think I'm a burden. I know for a fact that I am a burden.

Due to severe chronic illness I am bedridden 95% of the time, so I can do very little for myself, and even less for my family or for society in general.

I'm just a waste in every sense of the word.

 

[borderline-feline]

I know that I'm a burden because I'm unable to take care of myself. I struggle with the most basic of personal hygiene. I need a caretaker, but that's unfortunately not a possibility.

I'm also an emotional burden to my favorite person. He shouldn't have to deal with my stupid problems.