Anyone else feel like they’ve turned into a big pussy?

[Volatile]

A few years ago I was much more confident than I am now. After the arrival of some additional psychological distress and some physical problems, my imposing figure became gaunt and my confidence was replaced with constant panic. I strongly feel that I can't ctb in my present state because those alive will tear my memory to shreds. I basically look like I have cancer. If this were a few hundred years ago, I know that i'd be in an asylum

 

[Ssname]

I don't mean to blow my own trumpet but a year ago I was awesome. Confident and generally kicking ass at life. Now I wouldn't choose to spend time with me if I had the choice. It's amazing how far I have fallen in such a short period of time. This time last year I was teaching (and doing it bloody well if I may say so) and about to go represent my region at national taunament in my sport. Now I am bearly a shadow of myself. I look physically similar but that's it. I don't recognise myself in my eyes anymore.

 

[Volatile]

I don't mean to blow my own trumpet but a year ago I was awesome. Confident and generally kicking ass at life. Now I wouldn't choose to spend time with me if I had the choice. It's amazing how far I have fallen in such a short period of time. This time last year I was teaching (and doing it bloody well if I may say so) and about to go represent my region at national taunament in my sport. Now I am bearly a shadow of myself. I look physically similar but that's it. I don't recognise myself in my eyes anymore.

What happened?

 

[Ashpac]

Im curious myself. It seems like you had alot going for yourself. More than I ever have.

 

[TengoK]

I've never been what I would call *confident*, but certainly three years ago I was a lot more so. Had only recently started my own business and was looking forward to that. I think my big change came in June 2016 when, after a long long illness, my mother passed away. I seemed okay about it at first, but gradually the effects crept up on me. Friends didn't want to know me anymore and, after the initial "you okay?" messages, stopped communicating with me and certainly seeing me. Apart from a couple of occasions at New Year 2016 and one in February 2017, I haven't seen anyone in those 2 years. I lack so much confidence now - not helped by the fact I'm disabled as well as have Aspergers Syndrome - that I'm too scared to go out and I think the few people I know imagine I'm some kind of recluse. Which I am. But not by choice.

 

[Wintergirl666]

The thing is I struggled with self harm and anorxia (and a lot of other stuff) since I was 10 years old. But back then I at least tried to fight against my mental illnesses. I was much more confident than I am right now and I tried to keep my head up no matter how much life sucked. But now... I just feel like the biggest failure on earth. I let my problems overwhelm me and I don't even care to fight anymore. Instead I'm drowning myself in alcohol to forget about my shitty life. Gosh, I've sunken so low...
(I'm 18. And sry 'bout my english. I'm from germany^^")

 

[throwaway123]

YES! I used to have a lot less fear before I attempted to CTB.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I don't mean to blow my own trumpet but a year ago I was awesome. Confident and generally kicking ass at life. Now I wouldn't choose to spend time with me if I had the choice. It's amazing how far I have fallen in such a short period of time. This time last year I was teaching (and doing it bloody well if I may say so) and about to go represent my region at national taunament in my sport. Now I am bearly a shadow of myself. I look physically similar but that's it. I don't recognise myself in my eyes anymore.

same. its crazy how fast you can fall in life and there is just no rock bottom. unfortunately in opposite to that the way up is always long, hard and often not attainable for everyone.

such is life i guess