Discussion anyone else feel like they were meant to be dead already?

[jiaaa_02]

Since 16, so yes

 

[The_screaming_dawn]

most suicidal people i know always say they didn't expect to live past a certain age or even get to its birthday, i feel the same.

like after a certain point / event that occurred in my life, it would feel so harrowing to get past that when i did surpass it, i felt breathless before already being pulled into something new. like my life has lost it's original plot and it keeps filling in the blanks now to keep something going in my life.

but it's always worse than before, like it's waiting for me to finally manage to give up and leave for good. i feel like a tv show that's run longer than intended and no longer makes sense.

I have had two near death experiences in my life that have not been of my own hand. I simply wonder why in the fuck I didn't pass in those two instances nor in my own attempts.

 

[lovedread]

For sure feels like im on borrowed time sometimes, like there was a glitch in the story and i wasn't even supposed to make it this far

 

[Raindancer]

I've wondered this often as I almost drowned when I was a child, went through cancer at 19, and then had an accident that could have killed me. Many moments I wished one of those had resulted in my death but at others I wonder if I am still here for a reason.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, it's a miracle that I even lived this long to begin with. Unfortunately it isn't the good type of miracle