Venting anyone else feel a burning resentment towards people who managed to access N in the UK before it was impossible to get hold of??

[starnosedmole222]

that should have been me. what makes you think you had more of a right to a peaceful exit than i do?? why do you get to die peacefully and i don't?? it feels like i've had my peaceful exit stolen from me. why can't i just go?? it's selfish to expect me to keep living. "it's for your own good!! things get better!!" i don't care. i won't be sentient anymore, so i literally will not be capable of feeling regret. death means that nothing bad will ever happen to me again. sure, it means nothing good will ever happen to me again, but i won't care, because i won't know what "good" is. and yet there are laws to prevent me from dying because these SELFISH BASTARDS want to force me to stay for THEIR BENEFIT. i happen to know who one of the last people to get N in the UK was, and i can't stop thinking about her and how much i hate her for it. all she had to do was delete her damn search history and the last supplier in the UK wouldn't have gotten caught and jailed. i keep going to her instagram account and scrolling through all her old posts and just raging. raging at the fact that she is the reason i am forced to stay alive against my will, and she doesn't even have to suffer the consequences. i get that she was hurting too and it's a horrible way for me to think, but i can't help it. i feel nothing but utter resentment towards her. she had no more of a right to die than i do, and yet here i am, and here she isn't. fuck this so much. i just want N. is that really so unreasonable?? why are sick animals given N at the vet when they can't even explicitly consent to it, but as soon as it's a human, we're forced to suffer?? if i was a cat, i would have been put down years ago, so why not put me down now??

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not entirely because- they took risks to purchase it. If it were available now, I'm not sure I would take the risk to try and get it. Presumably, it's an illegal drug to buy. I don't want police at the door.

Plus, how can you be certain you aren't being scammed if you do buy? Again- that's another risk.

It's kind of the same when people are envious of those who bought SN. I did- knowing it was risky and knowing it left me open to getting a welfare check- which I did get. Plus, I worked for the money to pay for it. It's not like it's just given to us out of compassion! It's a risk we either choose to take or not. Were you wanting to buy N at the time it was available? What made you decide not to?

That said- I do pity people who's situations mean it is all the more difficult to get ahold of, eg. Those living with others- where a welfare check would be much worse.

My anger is more towards our governments/ society- that makes it so difficult to exit though- rather than towards individuals- unless they compromised a source or something.

I suppose if anything, I think they're brave for taking the risk in the first place. Plus- it just seemed sensible to try and get hold of SN when I did. The same goes for other things really. It seems obvious that our governments are cracking down increasingly hard on things like SN.

 

[Bishop]

No. Why resent people I don't know. More envious and happy that they were able to.

 

[Forveleth]

No. Being jealous of other people is negative energy that I do not need in my life.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'm angry at the government monsters. it's the government creeps who went all the way to Mexico and arrested D , "N from D".

D sold Nembutal online for at lest 15 years delivered to your door. . email was in the PPH.

he'd still be in business if the government monsters had not arrested him.

there are many threads here on this site of people buying his N and proving it was the best .

 

[iguazo falls]

not really resentment for a fellow suicidal person, because if you are hurting a lot then you dont really think much about what your search history is (or you genuinely didnt know what police check through, this is a question i'd actually like to know most about because i can prepare accordingly and just leave pig related queries instead). i just feel resentful towards authorities because i've seeked "help" and 9 times out of 10 you are just another quota to "solve" in the shortest amt of time and resources to them. i wonder what the stats dept would catagorise my death as in their books.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

No. Why resent people I don't know. More envious and happy that they were able to.

exactly

 

[SASU-KE]

There's nothing to be angry about. It's the same thing with everything. I mean, look at the people who bought SN a couple of months ago. Now people aren't able to get their hands on it. Eventually every easy ctb option will be illegal.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, it's just such horrific extreme cruelty how humans have made dying painlessly illegal with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what, it's just so evil to me how these anti-suicide people force others to be tortured in this existence that never should had been imposed in the first place.

I always suffer so much from how I cannot just access Nembutal and it's criminal how humans aren't allowed to access it, to me existence really is a mistake that just causes all this cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it, to suffer in this horrific prison world will always feel like the most terrible undeserved punishment to me, all that existence ever does is cause all this torture and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I'll always see it as an abomination to exist.

 

[urgent]

I'm angry at the government monsters. it's the government creeps who went all the way to Mexico and arrested D , "N from D".

D sold Nembutal online for at lest 15 years delivered to your door. . email was in the PPH.

he'd still be in business if the government monsters had not arrested him.

there are many threads here on this site of people buying his N and proving it was the best .

I wish I knew about it then. All this suffering I could have avoided. It seems like the government wants to make sure we have to pay even for MAiD 8k It's so wrong!

 

[itsgone2]

D sold Nembutal online for at lest 15 years delivered to your door. . email was in the PPH

This is frustrating to hear. We have been cut off. Abandoned. By people who think they're right

 

[isthisthingon]

To resent them is weird, maybe envious of them?

 

[Serena 2026]

Deveria ter sido eu. O que te faz pensar que você tinha mais direito a uma morte pacífica do que eu? Por que você pode morrer em paz e eu não? Parece que roubaram minha morte pacífica. Por que eu não posso simplesmente ir embora? É egoísmo esperar que eu continue vivendo. "É para o seu próprio bem! As coisas melhoram!" Eu não me importo. Não serei mais consciente, então literalmente não serei capaz de sentir arrependimento. A morte significa que nada de ruim jamais me acontecerá novamente. Claro, significa que nada de bom jamais me acontecerá novamente, mas eu não me importarei, porque não saberei o que é "bom". E ainda assim existem leis para me impedir de morrer porque esses BASTARDOS EGOÍSTAS querem me forçar a ficar para o BENEFÍCIO DELES. Por acaso, sei quem foi uma das últimas pessoas a receber N no Reino Unido, e não consigo parar de pensar nela e em quanto a odeio por isso. Tudo que ela precisava fazer era apagar o maldito histórico de buscas e o último fornecedor no Reino Unido não teria sido pego e preso. Eu fico entrando no Instagram dela e rolando por todas as postagens antigas, e só consigo sentir raiva. Raiva pelo fato de que ela é a razão pela qual sou forçado a continuar vivo contra a minha vontade, e ela nem precisa sofrer as consequências. Eu entendo que ela também estava sofrendo e é uma maneira horrível de pensar, mas não consigo evitar. Sinto apenas um ressentimento profundo por ela. Ela não tinha mais direito de morrer do que eu, e mesmo assim aqui estou eu, e aqui está ela, não. Que se dane tudo isso. Eu só quero N. Isso é realmente tão absurdo assim? Por que animais doentes recebem N no veterinário quando nem podem consentir explicitamente, mas assim que se trata de um humano, somos forçados a sofrer? Se eu fosse um gato, já teriam me sacrificado há anos, então por que não me sacrificam agora?

Hi, if you're able to travel, they have N in Peru, but you need to pick it up there; they don't ship by mail!

 

[eggsausagerice]

if you're able to travel, they have N in Peru

hate to tell you this but most people don't have the time or money to go to peru. i think it's a non option when most users are struggling financially

 

[Serena 2026]

hate to tell you this but most people don't have the time or money to go to peru. i think it's a non option when most users are struggling financially

Yes, absolutely, I understand what you're saying... it was just information!