Venting Anyone else extremely disgusted by their body?

[PrincessMeow]

I'm so fucking skinny-fat and ugly looking that I want to kill myself. I have small boobs, big belly and flat ass which looks so disgusting on myself. I feel shame everytime I go outside and see girls my age wearing cute saris and crop tops with flat tummies. I'm ashamed to go outside even, I'm so ugly I wish people didn't look at me. I just wish this fat melts off but my body is so fucking stubborn. I wish I develop anorexia because I didn't want to die a fat girl, I want to be skinny and cute and pretty. I hate fat jiggling on my body.

It doesn't help that my Indian mother force feeds me and doesn't let me exercise because according to her I must use that time to study. I'm such a fucking fatass that I can't even puke the food out. I don't want to live in this ugly meat suit.

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

What bothers me most about myself is the fact that I'm very thin and I've been teased a lot and even criticized for it. Even though I eat a lot I can't gain weight, but that's part of my genetics, and in addition to being thin, I also had the misfortune of being ugly and at the age of 4 or 5 (I don't remember exactly) I had a small accident but it left a permanent mark on my forehead and that destroys my self-esteem even more.

Every time I look in the mirror or take a photo I see this damn mark and it bothers me a lot. This is just one of the reasons why I go CTB: very low self-esteem and the fact that I hate who I am.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Yes.

 

[Life_and_Death]

yes..i cant help picking myself apart from head to toe.
self care helps with some of the problems...but its so much work to keep up on...i prefer to just keep my hood up and hide away

 

[Shinei]

Yes
i look really ugly I hate my body

 

[26mmmm]

I'm so fucking skinny-fat and ugly looking that I want to kill myself. I have small boobs, big belly and flat ass which looks so disgusting on myself. I feel shame everytime I go outside and see girls my age wearing cute saris and crop tops with flat tummies. I'm ashamed to go outside even, I'm so ugly I wish people didn't look at me. I just wish this fat melts off but my body is so fucking stubborn. I wish I develop anorexia because I didn't want to die a fat girl, I want to be skinny and cute and pretty. I hate fat jiggling on my body.

It doesn't help that my Indian mother force feeds me and doesn't let me exercise because according to her I must use that time to study. I'm such a fucking fatass that I can't even puke the food out. I don't want to live in this ugly meat suit.

You don't have to exercise you can just eat less. Might be tough but its possible.

 

[wildbluekiss]

now THIS is THE question for your deranged bulimic girl, wildbluekiss.

the answer is YES. i mean, at this point i can't even eat when people are looking at me, i feel like utter shit. like a fatass, grinding down her dishes in one gulp, fucking obese.

be blaming this on my disorder daily. in normal eyes, i'm just a normal girl. this body is good enough. will never be enough for yours truly.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, I hate my body a lot too. My boobs are saggy, I have stretchmarks, my legs have scars on them from me pulling out my hair (it's a bad habit), my hands and feet are big, my hips are small, my ass is small and flat, my hips are small, my thighs are too skinny, and I always feel like I'm carrying too much fat around my lower stomach. I genuinely hate my body. Looking at it causes me to feel disgusted, sometimes to the point that it makes me feel suicidal. I'm so ugly that it makes me want to stab myself sometimes. It still puzzles me how two people who are considered good-looking could birth to such an ugly dumbass.

 

[Tixij]

of course. social media makes it a lot worse too. everywhere i go on the internet its flooded with the most attractive girls ive ever seen in my life. and theres SO many of them and its never ending and they all look so much better and so much prettier and so much more attractive. it makes me feel like shit. and it warps my perception of peoples appearances, and i know it does the same to others

people, especially men, are having a harder and harder time finding people attractive, because a "regular" person isnt perfect like what we see everywhere. everyones brains are rotted from social media and porn. even opening something like tiktok you can see 50 of the most beautiful people in the world within a span of a couple minutes. they look at a normal person and either just find them entirely unattractive, or they decide to "settle" for that person and are unhappy in their choice. if they arent actively looking for a more attractive person to take their place, then they just oogle those kinds of people on the internet, and wish that their partner was better and looked better and looked like the people theyre actually attracted to

it makes me feel hopeless knowing that i not only find myself disgusting, but others will too. even if you date somebody they will just look at other people and want to be with them instead, because why wouldnt they? why would they want to be with someone who looks the way i do when the world is flooded with girls a million times more attractive? the worst part is when the ideal just isnt obtainable for you on a genetic level

 

[Kliofrey]

Yes, I hate my body so much too. And my relatives is making it worse by saying how I'm all skin and bones, and I should eat more because I looked like I've been starved.

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

On the upside of being a fat ugly piece of crap, at least most people ignore I exist, the ones who don't... Well they were always going to be looking to be ass holes to somebody.

The worst fear I have about dying is having someone deal with my body and think how digustingly ugly I am. Dunno why I would care if I'm deceased, but for some reason I can't help but feel anxious. I'm not 200 pounds over fat, I'm around 170 I can still get out of my house. But at the same time, having someone deal with my dead fat body is horrifying to contemplate.

 

[parallelluniverse]

I have a different take...

I was obese as 12-14 yo. Before that, I was just a normal fairly thin/average built kid. But I got bullied, a lot. Then as I grew and exercised I lost it and became tall and thin. I didn't get bullied for my weight then, and tbh, my appearance still didn't bother me. I didn't care, ever, other people in my class would mention how it also doesn't bother them, their weight that is, not mine (thoe one's who carried the extra weight).

As I grew older I stayed thin, but always have the little bit of extra fat somewhere... like normal amount. Then I got into fitness but never ate enough protein and kept an average build. Until I changed my routine and ate better, I lost weight and became defined... then I left a job and moved away and gained weight and got overweight. I still control my diet, I'm average now, not fat at all, not skinny but stocky with some muscle on me. And tbf, I've never cared much about my body.

To me, we all have boobs and bums and a smile and hair and hips and things and hands and feet and eyes and ears and the differences are simply inches. I don't judge myself for my looks. I judge myself for my cleanliness and friendliness much more and intelligence...

Unless I'm doing sport... I'm not critical of my body... but sport competitions seemed frivolous to me after a while...

I really only judge people on their niceness and smartness, looks aren't as important to me... It's odd, I've never looked in the mirror and ever cared... I used to care more about my hair when I was a teenager LOL

 

[bettertosleep]

yea,, my bmi isnt overweight but i look like i am since i dont work out and eat unhealthily. my nose is too big and my jaw/chin shape is weird. i want to get plastic surgery before i ctb because i want my dead body to be beautiful ..

 

[theboy]

Me

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

yes..i cant help picking myself apart from head to toe.
self care helps with some of the problems...but its so much work to keep up on...i prefer to just keep my hood up and hide away

I just wanted to say I love your avatar as a fellow BPD

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can't speak for all guys, obviously, but from a guy's perspective, we're not all shallow and only interested in how someone looks. There's a lot more to it than that. Personally, if the girl doesn't have anything upstairs, I couldn't care less if she is the goddess of the universe. And if she isn't kind, and I mean genuinely a kind person, she can take a hike no matter what she looks like. Likewise if she's asinine, snobby, or a plain bitch. If she shows no signs of being able to be a good mother, too, that's a non-starter, and there would be no sense in pursuing any kind of meaningful relationship with her. That's what was important to me, anyway. Looks are nice, but they fade over time. When they're gone, there better be some "substance" under those looks. If there's no "substance" to start with, there's no reason to even bother.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I can't speak for all guys, obviously, but from a guy's perspective, we're not all shallow and only interested in how someone looks. There's a lot more to it than that. Personally, if the girl doesn't have anything upstairs, I couldn't care less if she is the goddess of the universe. And if she isn't kind, and I mean genuinely a kind person, she can take a hike no matter what she looks like. Likewise if she's asinine, snobby, or a plain bitch. If she shows no signs of being able to be a good mother, too, that's a non-starter, and there would be no sense in pursuing any kind of meaningful relationship with her. That's what was important to me, anyway. Looks are nice, but they fade over time. When they're gone, there better be some "substance" under those looks. If there's no "substance" to start with, there's no reason to even bother.

Not to be rude, but why did you feel the need to make this about what men feel and want, as though somehow that means anything? This feels like the eqivalent to when women talk about wearing makeup and then some random dude responds by talking about how, "I think you need makeup. I think you look better without it", as though someone asked for his opinion. The opinions that women have on their appearance don't usually revolve around men. They might be mentioned sometimes as a way to evaluate their appearance, but the issue is usually much deeper than what men think of them. I remember back in grade 12 having two girls in my class who discussed wearing makeup due to their insecurites. Neither of them gave a shit about what men thought. They explicitly stated this.

Male validation does little to nothing to fix issues with body image. Nobody cares about what you look for in a relationship. I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit blunt, I understand that you are probably had good intentions while writing this, but these types of posts don't really end up accomplishing anything. I'm saying this as someone who sexts random men online and has so far recieved nothing but compliments on my body. I've had five dudes talk about wanting to meet up with me, with four of them being from out of the country. I still hate my appearance. A lot of women (and men) in relationships still hate their appearance.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm pretty disgusted by my body. I might be tall but I still have a fat gut and skinny arms plus I got a tiny wiener.

I also don't really like how my nose looks or my eyes but chalk that up to Asian genetics.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm saying this as someone who sexts random men online

I would say that automatically means you have some type of inferiority complex, which you seem to acknowledge, or possibly "daddy" issues. And I commented because a poster specifically commented that men aren't attracted to "normal" women anymore ("people, especially men, are having a harder and harder time finding people attractive").

So, when you get all "gussied" up and go out, it has nothing whatsoever to do with attracting a guy?

Nobody cares about what you look for in a relationship.

And I could care less what you think about my post!

so far recieved nothing but compliments on my body

Disingenuous since they lack respect for you?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I would say that automatically means you have some type of inferiority complex, which you seem to acknowledge, or possibly "daddy" issues. And I commented because a poster specifically commented that men aren't attracted to "normal" women anymore ("people, especially men, are having a harder and harder time finding people attractive").

So, when you get all "gussied" up and go out, it has nothing whatsoever to do with attracting a guy?


And I could care less what you think about my post!

I love how you felt the need to respknd by being some sort of armchair psychologist and going out of your way to imply tbat I have daddy issues. I actually have a very good relationship with my dad and just because your salty because somebody pointed out that your type of post isn't helpful. Do you think that others on here haven't heard the same bullshit that you've spewed out before whenever they talked about their body image issues? I'm starting to think that you just wrote that post to stroke your own fucking ego considering your innappropiate response.

oh no, one user says that men aren't attracted to women anymore!/s Do you think that your post is really going to change their mind on that? Also, if one person says that then how about you specifically reply to that post instead of writing a post addressing the entire thread with you bs?

Fuck you! The fact that there's already been a thread on armchair psycholigy yet you still felt the need to make assumptions about me, especialky in regards to my relationship with my dad is nothibg shirt of disgusting!!! Don't do that shit to me or anyone ever again!! I was already not feeling great today and you've just made me feel worse.

 

[peacefulexit]

Big time. I have Peyronie's Disease.

 

[bonkers570]

I'm so fucking skinny-fat and ugly looking that I want to kill myself. I have small boobs, big belly and flat ass which looks so disgusting on myself. I feel shame everytime I go outside and see girls my age wearing cute saris and crop tops with flat tummies. I'm ashamed to go outside even, I'm so ugly I wish people didn't look at me. I just wish this fat melts off but my body is so fucking stubborn. I wish I develop anorexia because I didn't want to die a fat girl, I want to be skinny and cute and pretty. I hate fat jiggling on my body.

It doesn't help that my Indian mother force feeds me and doesn't let me exercise because according to her I must use that time to study. I'm such a fucking fatass that I can't even puke the food out. I don't want to live in this ugly meat suit.

I was fit all my life and had my body absolutely distorted due to these fucking psychiatric pills that they forced on me for mild psychosis.

I now have a belly that sticks out, Im not flat anymore, my metabolism has been slowed down indefinitely meaning losing weight is nearly impossible

I was a good looking 27 year old man, 6 feet and 152 pounds.
Not anymore.

 

[passivethought121]

Absolutely. It's not disgust, but irritation that worsens the longer I look at it. I've tried to work on my arms to compensate for other flaws but it is impossible given my daily physical/mental habits.

 

[onbekend]

My anorexia makes me disgusted in myself. I sometimes dread the idea of my body decomposing (unless I'm cremated), but sometimes I also feel relieved that it will inevitably happen as I fucking hate my body so much. At this point I wanna try cutting as I've never done it before, but my family would immediately know if I did.

It extends far past my physical body, just my very being. I remember stupid shit that I did and believe that I don't deserve to live for it. Partially my reason why I wanna CTB right now.

 

[Dot]

Bth mn & womn r allowd t/ gve thr perspctves om ths issu - = an opn frum

Pls kp cnvrsatns civl & avd gttng persnl whch ech-othr

Apprci8

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, I am ugly but it isn't why I want to be dead. I want to be dead because existence as a whole is undesirable for me and there's nothing on this planet that I enjoy. I think that I would still wish to be dead even if I was beautiful

 

[another_creature]

On the upside of being a fat ugly piece of crap, at least most people ignore I exist, the ones who don't... Well they were always going to be looking to be ass holes to somebody.

The worst fear I have about dying is having someone deal with my body and think how digustingly ugly I am. Dunno why I would care if I'm deceased, but for some reason I can't help but feel anxious. I'm not 200 pounds over fat, I'm around 170 I can still get out of my house. But at the same time, having someone deal with my dead fat body is horrifying to contemplate.

This is valid. I think it purely depends on the person and country, but I worked in funeral business and can say this thought never crossed my head. I had some racist coworkers but they never made any degrading comments towards the deceased.

I hope it helps somewhat.

 

[PrincessMeow]

I can't speak for all guys, obviously, but from a guy's perspective, we're not all shallow and only interested in how someone looks. There's a lot more to it than that. Personally, if the girl doesn't have anything upstairs, I couldn't care less if she is the goddess of the universe. And if she isn't kind, and I mean genuinely a kind person, she can take a hike no matter what she looks like. Likewise if she's asinine, snobby, or a plain bitch. If she shows no signs of being able to be a good mother, too, that's a non-starter, and there would be no sense in pursuing any kind of meaningful relationship with her. That's what was important to me, anyway. Looks are nice, but they fade over time. When they're gone, there better be some "substance" under those looks. If there's no "substance" to start with, there's no reason to even bother.

Thank you for your kind words, but I'm from a country where men have some serious boobs fetish going on...men openly judge women's bodies here and vice versa too. Many people are here very transactional in their relationships, plus we have so much female objectification in movies that male minds are now rotten. Also, I'm disgusted for my own self, I don't even want male attention that much. I want to have a pretty face and body for myself

 

[GoroMajima13]

I hate my body so much. Now I'm gaining weight again. I hate myself skinny I hate myself big. I always have the urge to just RIP myself to pieces. I'll never be pretty or beautiful. I hate my eczema, I have an over bite and underbite and I just feel so fucking hideous all the time

 

[sserafim]

I don't really like how my eyes look but chalk that up to Asian genetics.

Same. They look much better with eyeliner though