Yes, partly. My looks meant I could never have a social life. It was also because of lack of social skills, but I feel that if I had been attractive I would had more confidence to interact with others instead of isolate myself. Being bullied for my looks by others made me close myself off and not want to be around others.
How is it with family? Any different?
Even if I stay away from the rest of the world, my siblings and cousins and relatives are all considerably attractive..makes it worse to be around them. They've also gotten to live their lives completely different and have only gained where I have lost. I would normally be big on family but It's very hard when they cannot feel what I feel and their presence only makes it more obvious of how bad I have it. I'm basically invisible anyways when it comes to them (and obviously anyone else too). I've had to isolate myself as much as humanely possible in order to keep any last piece of dignity I have left.
To be the person that exists only to make others feel better about themselves simply by looking at you..to be afraid to speak up because you know you are a glass house and any comment on appearance is a dagger..to know that people are quick to cut you out of their lives for any slight disagreement because you don't matter and you're not worth the trouble because you are unattractive ..to look in the mirror and not see who you really are, but instead just a prison..Well it's the worst thing imaginable for me. My life is a hell tailor made to the kind of person I am.
Apparently a lot of unattractive people get on with their lives. Attractive people love to tell me this! The irony.
Well I simply cannot.
And the only other viable option is plastic surgery which I've already had done once very young when I didn't know why I looked the way I did. I chose to do something to one of my features that was actually very nice because it was the only procedure I knew of at that age. The doctor took this for granted and my parents signed off when they knew it was wrong. Left a teenager to do all the research. I was young and stupid.
And the doctor ruined that feature and the surrounding area.
To top it off, I ended up making another fluke mistake that anyone could have made which further declined my appearance, basically ruined anything that could ever be attractive about me and aged me significantly as well. And I was already working with so little.
I don't know if some of it is even reparable. And the rest would mean both corrective plastic surgery as well as more fresh PS. Very intensive and time consuming. Expensive beyond belief.
I don't trust surgeons or doctors anymore. Especially plastic surgeons.
I have spoken to many people and have come to learn how common poorly done procedures are. Both full blown botches, or small mistakes that make a big difference and anything in between. I know people who have taken their life for only one of my problems. It's very sad, very heartbreaking.
I had so much I wanted to do, places I wanted to see, people I wanted to reunite with..but I've lost my youth, the years that matter, not even any nice pictures to tide me over- which most people will have now-a-days. And I'm very very tired.
Dying seems to be the lesser of two evils. The other-living like this.
Though I fear I will end up failing and be worse off, become a vegetable and allowed to be seen by people I was hiding from because I will have no say.
It's bad enough I have to end things and leave behind an ugly corpse for everyone to gawk at and remember.
I think even if I didn't have this problem, how unfair it would be for the people who do, and how it can ruin their lives while others go on without notice or care. Sucked into their own beautiful worlds.
If by a miracle I were to resolve all my problems, I would feel relief..but would still not have a time machine to gain back the time lost.
There is growth from having your eyes forced open to this side of life, but if it goes on for too long, all the growth becomes rot.
I feel deeply for anyone who has to experience this. It is truly unforgiving and like much of the rest of the world-simply unfair.
Very good reason to kill yourself. You can't control who you're attracted to, and there's no point in settling for less. Death is far better than life without a fulfilling relationship.
Yes I agree it is a very good reason.
But I would be pleased with just being attractive and not having a significant other. I would be happy with having myself and then the family I grew up with. With the relief and comfort in looking the way I want, I could feel free to pursue so much. I would not need nor ask for anything else. I wonder if anyone else feels this way.
It seems like most people are after a relationship and this is a barrier to that goal. Nothing wrong with wanting that, but for me I just want to feel whole and be and look like the real me, who only I can know. I wish everyone could have that.
I'm admittedly quite a hideous guy but I still manage to get laid so my deplorable looks don't really play a part in my desire to die. I guess it's worse to be "ugly" as a woman based on how superficial guys tend to be be. No doubt looks play a role in this world, perhaps a bit too much and both genders are affected by it no matter what anyone may say.
Yes many men and women are equally affected. I agree with your sentiment that it may be worse as a woman, with the way a lot of men seem to be (not all). And I know a lot of good looking women who end up dating and marrying people who are extremely unnattractive, even when it's not for some other shallow reason like the amount of money in their bank account.
I also know of many unattractive men whose main goal in life is to find the most attractive woman they can get. They don't see their female equals in looks, they still want someone terribly attractive even when they know what it is like not to be. There are still ill-words spoken about women who look as those men do-from those men.
I don't quite frankly understand it. I'm not saying anyone has to be with someone just because they're "in their league" (hate that saying) but must people cast them aside like dogs and call them cruel names...
I look awful and the only thing that can satisfy me is to have control over my own looks, I have no desire to involve another person and their looks to fill the gap. Even if I got my wish granted tommorow and became beautiful, even platonic relationships with people who have never experienced the hell of looking like this would be difficult. Because I know how myself and others are treated solely on that fact by attractive people and some other unattractive people alike.
When you don't have understanding between two people, how can there be genuine love.
And how can people betray their own pain and suffering by joining in the crowd that flocks towards the attractive people as if they were the ones who built their own bodies and labored over their own faces.
None of us have a choice in the matter of how we look. A matter that unfortunately rules societies and individuals alike.
i just read an article a few days ago about a woman who got her face burned in a car fire. im just saying... im betting she would KILL to have your "ugly" ethnic face.
You can always point out someone having it 'worse' to anyone with any kind of problem on this site. But it doesn't mean their reason isn't good enough for them and isn't painful enough just because someone else in the world has it worse.
The only thing worse than suffering is someone invalidating that suffering.
Besides, there are far more people who have it better and we may all be someone's worst nightmare while simultaneously being a much better deal in life to someone who has gotten beaten with the stick a few dozen more times than we have.