Any moms that don't want to keep going?

[EndlessDespair]

Your mother seems to be a great mother who did what millions of mothers and fathers do everyday: sacrifice, provide and care for their children.
However, I don't think you got the point which is : doesn't matter you have children, when life is pure torture, you can't see any other solution. Some parents even think their children will be better without them. This is very sad but when someone has poor self esteem and see themselves as a nothing, they think that they're not good enough for their kids.
And by the way, you talk only about mothers and say they shouldn't ctb until kids are grown.
Do you hold fathers to the same standard because let me tell you, a father is as important as a mother. It's actually sad that family courts always assume that the mom is the most important parent. A lot of fathers have been shortchanged and had their kids taken away because of this kind of mentality.
I also disagree with other points you made (ex: when you say that children once adults are less affected by the loss of a parent) but I will leave it to that. I wish some people were not as harsh in their judgments and would show more compassion and understanding.

You are entitled to your opinion, as I am. 100% kids are more impacted by losing a parent, than are grown adults. Adults alrdy know that 1 day they will lose their parents, but kids cannot comprehend the thought of losing their parents, they believe they will be alive forever. There has been multiple studies that show that kids who lose their parents at a young age are effected most.

The solution is to not have kids, if you are not ready to devote your life into raising your kid.

I hold the same standard for fathers as well, I'm just mentioning mothers because that is what the main post is about.

 

[Mia11]

You are entitled to your opinion, as I am. 100% kids are more impacted by losing a parent, than are grown adults. Adults alrdy know that 1 day they will lose their parents, but kids cannot comprehend the thought of losing their parents, they believe they will be alive forever. There has been multiple studies that show that kids who lose their parents at a young age are effected most.

The solution is to not have kids, if you are not ready to devote your life into raising your kid.

I hold the same standard for fathers as well, I'm just mentioning mothers because that is what the main post is about.

I'm in a Fb group of people who lost someone to suicide and I saw how adults are affected by the loss of a parent who chose to ctb. They suffer greatly because of the manner in which their loved ones chose to leave. Children will suffer, there is no question about it but adults suffer as much, just in another way. There is a lot of guilt and regrets. Their life will always be affected by their loss and they'll never cease missing them.

'The solution is not to have kids' : Again parents who have suicide ideation most likely didn't feel that way at the time their children were born. Then life happened. All these moms/dads who want to ctb didn't know back then what life would bring and how they'd become years later.

I'm glad you hold fathers to the same standart as mothers. In this FB group, I see a greater number of men/fathers who committed suicide than moms. I'm certain these men were great dads who loved their children and they can't be judged just like mothers who chose to ctb can not.

Anyway, as you said, you're entitled to your opinion and I thank you for remaining courteous even though we don't share the same views.

 

[SamTam33]

I just read a story about a mom in the UK who jumped in front a train while holding her 3-year-old daughter and I immediately thought of this thread.

The report was so descriptive about her last day that I felt like I witnessed it too.

She couldn't pay her bills and earlier that morning she checked her bank balance, then called her mom but the call didn't go through.

She spent a lot of time on the phone with her landlord. She was supposed to start a new job and she called the employer. I wonder if she asked for an advance.

They described her walking hand-in-hand with her daughter at the station. She left, then came back.

It sounds like she was trying to do everything she could before killing herself.

They described the last 6 minutes of her life and how she walked slowly along the platform before gathering her daughter in her arms and "carefully" jumping from the platform.

Carefully.

That word stuck out to me. Does that mean she was at peace with her decision; but that she didn't want to fall or drop her daughter in the process? Maybe she was savoring those last moments of holding her baby in her arms.

For as much as I utterly loathe the idea of procreation and all those who participate, I understand the dilemma for parents who want to die.

I get it. You fucked up big time. You can't undo your decision - so what do you do?

Parents who commit suicide and leave the kids behind get called selfish because they left the kids alone.

Yet, when they take the kids with them like this lady - that's "selfish" too. They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

I don't know if it's ok to link stuff here. I've belonged to other sites where they didn't want stories linked from the Daily Mail, so the title is "Young mother, 27, behind on bills and rent took daughter and walked in front of train, inquest hears" if you want to read it.

 

[Pluto]

I didn't want to mansplain-reply here again but I feel compelled to make one point. I don't feel that a thread about mothers in distress is an appropriate time for espousing antinatalist philosophy or voicing anti-parent sentiment. Of course, it is important that everything be done to ensure the wellbeing of the children, which I'm quite confident these mothers are already painfully aware of. It is also uniquely desirable that the mothers are supported to carry on if at all possible.

Figure 4: Number of children women aged 45-49 had ever had, 1981-2016


As this [Australian] graph indicates, only a very small, albeit growing, percentage of the population is childless by middle-age. Parenthood happens by default. If you live long enough, statistically you will likely become a parent yourself. Only then will the immaturity of lashing at people for being human be apparent.

I understand feelings of having wished I was not born, and I understand feelings of wishing some authority had prevented my parents from procreating. But this thread is not about that. There are plenty of other threads for that purpose.

Please, let's all watch our tone and show these women some care and compassion in their time of need.