H
hellodarkness
Member
- Dec 8, 2020
- 92
I have a course I've been working on via one of Stanford's online continuing education programs for a while that I'd like to finish. Would like to finish my book.
Oh and a proper session. Drugs, alcohol, etc....just a massive fucking party where there's no boundaries or limits and nothing matters anymoreFind the motivation to clear out as much of my bedroom as I can do as not to leave it to my family (it's honestly so cluttered and gross is ridiculous) and probably have good sex one last time lol. I'd also try to write letters to those I'm leaving behind in an attempt to bring them so kind of comfort
I want to climb a mountain before I die. But I haven't picked one yet.
Plus travelings a problem for me so I'll probably never get to.
Thinking about that too...not even for vanity purposes anymore but just something - pain - I could cling onto.My goal is to become anorexic again so I'll come to feel slightly more comfortable with a mortician viewing my body after my death.
It's addictive. I've already lost twenty pounds but I want to keep going... it currently serves as the sole motivator in my life (aside from death, of course).Thinking about that too...not even for vanity purposes anymore but just something - pain - I could cling onto.
I feel like I need something to direct my energy into and that makes me uncomfortable enough to not feel as empty. :(
It's hard to put it into words but there's definitely lots of little things I'd like to experience but most of them involve having someone to experience them with and I just don't have that yet. If I had more time I wish I could try out some classic games but I don't even have the energy for that sometimes.