Venting Another way

[hopeless08]

Another morning, another day of torture.
At night sometimes I dream about the old me, years ago when I did have good times and lived life to the fullest and it before everything went dreadfully wrong.
When I have those dreams it kills me when I wake up a hit reality, that it was just a dream.. I'm so desperate and I just don't see how I can go on. I know I can't go on but how do I go? Omg it's infuriating that it's so hard to ctb.
I'm thinking about the fentanyl overdose but there's no fentanyl where I live.
I could go to New York and I'm sure somehow I can get some there but I don't know what the side effects, overdosing on it will feel like .

 

[penguinl0v3s]

You can read the PPeH. Opioid overdose is painless like sleeping, but unreliable and expensive.

 

[Ninja_Master]

I can relate, i'm in the same boat, life just isn't the same, i had a lot of enjoyable moments prior to everything going downhill, now i'm just waiting for the end whenever it may come.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly so horrible how we have to struggle so much to die on our own terms. I hate how methods like Nembutal are a privilege reserved for animals and not humans, it'd be a relief to be able to access a guaranteed way to just die in peace.

 

[hopeless08]

I can relate, i'm in the same boat, life just isn't the same, i had a lot of enjoyable moments prior to everything going downhill, now i'm just waiting for the end whenever it may come.

Yeah I wish so badly I could go Back to the days that I felt some happiness. I haven't felt that in forever and unfortunately know I won't feel it again. But the thing is that I'm not even asking for happiness, (as I know that's a far stretch) I'll just settle for being free of this unbearable pain. I'll get by with that
It's pretty sad though