ThePollinator
My head is buzzing
- May 7, 2023
- 101
I'm on better medication now. I still have depressive episodes but it's been a while since I've been manic. I feel like I should be happy, but I'm constantly being reminded of how I shouldn't be alive. I'm turning 21 in a few months now, and remember the first time I attempted to take my life when I was eleven. Almost ten years. Ten years of attempts. There's at least one suicide attempt "anniversary" each month. How am I alive? It feels impossible. I feel immortal, and I hate it. I hate being considered an adult now, I hate the fact that this all should have ended a long time ago.
