Venting And so I have postponed

[PrisonPlanetBreak]

I wanted to do it on New Year's Eve... but I don't have my own place, and I seriously fear failing my attempt in a hotel or AirBnB. I still live with my mom, but I am capable of moving out and renting. I have my SN stored, and I figured I could get around the privacy issues. My aunt is spending the New Year's Eve at some friends... I figured I could conjure up a lie and kindly ask her to let me use her apartment, but alas I couldn't bring myself to it. I cannot, no... I do NOT want to have a failed attempt. I did the fasting part of the regime, I even prepared my AEs, I tested my SN a few days ago and it passed the purity test, and yet here I am. It feels disrespectful to those who cannot easily obtain SN... I am sorry.

So I think my resolution for 2024 is to move out and make sure my plan is solid enough such that I will not have a failed attempt under the belt. If I fail an attempt in a rental, well the landlord does not need to find out... I could even go for a method where failure doesn't require me to call the ambulance. I feel like having your own place opens up more possibilities. Do you think I did well by postponing? I know I'm gonna feel terrible waking up tomorrow morning... but oh well.​

 

[baabbaabbaab]

You don't wanna fail, it's okay to postpone in order to get all the odds in your favor.

 

[FuneralCry]

After all only you know when the time is right for you to leave, I certainly understand why you'd want to avoid plans failing. But anyway I wish you the best of luck.