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Someplace_nice

Someplace_nice

Student
Sep 28, 2024
162
Am I just that forgettable that he sees the cookies I've been asking for at work and gets them and eats them and doesn't remember that I've been asking for them for literal months. Doesn't bring any to me just eats them than tells me one day they had them at his work and he ate them. It's something small but it made me so unbelievably mad and sad, to the point that I want to cry. I've been asking for them ever since they came out, they are only 4 dollars at Walmart. It feels like I'm not that important to him.
 
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Carrot

Carrot

C:
Feb 25, 2025
514
I don't know the entire situation. It's possible that he mentioned the cookies because he had nothing to talk about and knew that you like them. Maybe the thought of gifting a cookie didn't even occur to him, even if it's obvious for you. I wouldn't be surprised, especially since I didn't get to socialise a lot when I was young and I did act strangely for years because of that.

I wish people could just talk, express how they feel, tell others how they feel. It can be done gently or straight up (which is what I prefer).

I have missed a lot of obvious signs and things I should have done. If somebody told me that, I'd be in a different position. I had a terrible breakup and somebody bottled up a lot of stuff and suddenly we had a talk.. Why couldn't we talk through the years? Of course there were signs, but how about we just sit down and talk honestly and try to work on stuff?

We are afraid to tell how we feel for some reason. Maybe it will anger somebody or other reasons. It's for the best. If somebody doesn't appreciate feedback (giving feedback is a skill of its own), then maybe it's not somebody I'd like to interact with too much. If somebody does appreciate feedback, it's easier to get along and improve as people, both ways.

JUST TALK. COMMUNICATE, PEOPLE.
 
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Someplace_nice

Someplace_nice

Student
Sep 28, 2024
162
I don't know the entire situation. It's possible that he mentioned the cookies because he had nothing to talk about and knew that you like them. Maybe the thought of gifting a cookie didn't even occur to him, even if it's obvious for you. I wouldn't be surprised, especially since I didn't get to socialise a lot when I was young and I did act strangely for years because of that.

I wish people could just talk, express how they feel, tell others how they feel. It can be done gently or straight up (which is what I prefer).

I have missed a lot of obvious signs and things I should have done. If somebody told me that, I'd be in a different position. I had a terrible breakup and somebody bottled up a lot of stuff and suddenly we had a talk.. Why couldn't we talk through the years? Of course there were signs, but how about we just sit down and talk honestly and try to work on stuff?

We are afraid to tell how we feel for some reason. Maybe it will anger somebody or other reasons. It's for the best. If somebody doesn't appreciate feedback (giving feedback is a skill of its own), then maybe it's not somebody I'd like to interact with too much. If somebody does appreciate feedback, it's easier to get along and improve as people, both ways.

JUST TALK. COMMUNICATE, PEOPLE.
He mentioned it when we were at the checkout, he is a literal person so he'd up and ask me if I wanted them when he saw them, he just saw them next to check out and told me what they tasted like, asked him if he thought of getting me some when he saw it and he said no. There is nothing to talk about except for my emotions rn but it's gonna take a hot minute until I'm calm enough to not call him names. I even reminded him that I've been asking for months to get the and his first words weren't sorry like always it was, "I didn't remember you wanted to try them." He didn't even offer to get me some the few times I kept telling him I wanted them after he had them.
 
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Carrot

Carrot

C:
Feb 25, 2025
514
He mentioned it when we were at the checkout, he is a literal person so he'd up and ask me if I wanted them when he saw them, he just saw them next to check out and told me what they tasted like, asked him if he thought of getting me some when he saw it and he said no. There is nothing to talk about except for my emotions rn but it's gonna take a hot minute until I'm calm enough to not call him names. I even reminded him that I've been asking for months to get the and his first words weren't sorry like always it was, "I didn't remember you wanted to try them." He didn't even offer to get me some the few times I kept telling him I wanted them after he had them.
I don't think calling him names will do anyone good.

In that case, I would try to focus on something, somebody else. You won't get along with everybody. Some people lack social skills, some people enjoy being rude, and the lack of consequences of being rude might give them joy, feeling superior.

That doesn't mean you are "forgettable". He clearly remembers, he just doesn't seem to care. Focus on people that want to interact with you (while working on any potential flaws of your own, it doesn't mean you need to stay the same and hope somebody accepts you as you are, friendships, relationships are about mutual understandting) instead of trying to get specific people to interact with you.

This all sounds familiar to me in certain ways. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I hate myself and somebody was a great person to be and I, instead of appreciating and repricating that, still behaved terribly, and they kept fighting for my attention, and that helped curing my self-hatred, but it was toxic for that other person. I never mean tany harm, it just happened because of various reasons., my flaws and illness being some of them. I also became a better person thanks to this, although that perosn left me eventually, and can't blame her. People can be complicated.
 
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