Venting Always alone

[HyenaRadio]

No matter what I always feel so alone. My 'friends' don't even like me, they just tolerate me to be around my other friends. Or they're around me because I show love through gift giving. I beg and plead for them to come with me to things or just hangout but the answer is always no, later, or go by yourself. They only like me if I'm silent, taking them somewhere, and spending money on them. I don't think it's their fault, I'm just a worthless person. Someday when I die I bet they won't come to my funeral. It's not like I can fall back on family either. I'm the black sheep of the family for being queer and alternative. I have no one, absolutely no one. At least I won't be missed.

 

[iamnotokaywiththis]

i feel the same a lot of the time. it's like, i have a few friends, but a good friends? friends that you can count on and open up to? i have absolutely none. the loneliness i feel is crippling- there's like a massive chasm in my chest that i can't get rid of. and no one knows how i'm feeling. i think with people like us, we just have to stick together. you don't have absolutely no one- you have me, you have this community. (and if i were you, i'd tell those 'friends' to fuck off and buy their own food- be mysterious) :)

 

[orca87]

Feeling out o place is terrible, that loneliness is the worst part of it. I've written about it here:

My theory on depression

After ruminating about my own life, a lot of reading in this forum, and some valuable conversations in private messages, I found some common patterns that lead me to develop my own theory about depression. What is depression? There are many forms of depression in ICD-10 and DSM-5, and all of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I'm so sorry that you feel that way, too!

You say that you're "alternative" — how about your friends? What do you have in common with them? Why do you want them — specifically — in your life?

Maybe it's just that you need to find the right people. I'm not sure what "alternative" means for you — do you have any special interests that gives you joy? Or a special music genre that you enjoy? Have you tried meetup.com or similar places to find like minded people?

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that in this world you just cannot trust and rely on people, most people only really care about what concerns themselves. Humans certainly can be so cruel.

 

[starrvingstar]

cant put all your worth in other people

 

[HyenaRadio]

You say that you're "alternative" — how about your friends? What do you have in common with them? Why do you want them — specifically — in your life?

When I say I'm alternative I'm referring to participating in goth, punk, and metal subcultures. My friends are somewhat involve with them too, not as much as I am though. I think I mostly want them in my life because they're all I have. I see how sweet and compassionate they are with everyone else in the group and a part of me holds out hope that someday I'll get the same love.

Maybe it's just that you need to find the right people. I'm not sure what "alternative" means for you — do you have any special interests that gives you joy? Or a special music genre that you enjoy? Have you tried meetup.com or similar places to find like minded people?

I think you're right. I'd be open to meet new people who share the same interests as me who hopefully care about me. It's just that I'm so worried that everyone just hates me.