Discussion Alone on Christmas

[LonelyPrince]

Who else will be alone Christmas?

I have friends already hanging out with their families on Christmas eve meanwhile our house looks abbandoned.
No one speaks to each other and maybe it's better that way.

I honestly don't know what's gonna happen tommorrow...I'll probably just be locked in my room doing the same shit as i always do: bedrotting and videogames lol.

Nobody expects any gifts from anyone here anymore.

Family is just strangers forced to live under the same roof, nothing will make me change my mind over this.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I will be but, that's normal and my choice. Not my first rodeo. It will be my 24th- something like that anyway. The first is always the weirdest. But, we won't be alone here. Quite a few of us this year I think. Not sure if that really helps though.

It's sad when you feel alone around others though. Worse in a way, I think.

 

[Lady_V]

I am literally crying right now about being alone for Christmas. I don't have friends, and my small family are thousands of miles away and don't want me in their lives because I'm an atheist who never fit in with them.
Tomorrow I plan to get very drunk alone and play video games until I pass out.

 

[Ligottian]

Me.

 

[violetforever]

i'm choosing to be alone for Christmas if i can. it's Christmas eve and i refuse to visit my grandparents house today with my family because after so many years it has finally worn me out to pretend anyone in this family gets along and that our family is anything other than abusive and dysfunctional. i've locked myself in my room for 4 days now just laying in bed and crying because i'm at my breaking point with all of it. i don't care if i "ruin" their Christmas. they've ruined my life since childhood.

Nobody expects any gifts from anyone here anymore.

i wish my family would just give up the act and be like that too. they're so performative though. i told my family i want nothing for Christmas and my mom still bought me gifts. i'm so sure its just so i look like a bitch on Christmas for refusing her gifts and making her waste money. everything is meaningless junk to me especially if it's from somebody who abuses me/enables abuse. nobody in this house even leaves their rooms or speaks/spends time with each other. it makes me lose my mind over how fake my family is.

 

[Cauliflour]

I think it's better to be alone then have to spend time with people you don't like. I can't speak from personal experience but for a long time I've thought the whole family message around Christmas time to be quite pretentious cause it makes you have to assume that everyone has a nice family and if they don't then all you need is good vibes to sort it out.

Although from the way OP words things, it seems like you are all indifferent to each other. I don't know what to say to that but you don't have to follow tradition if it doesn't fit. Christmas is just a marketing gimmick nowadays anyway, do whatever makes you feel good.

I am literally crying right now about being alone for Christmas. I don't have friends, and my small family are thousands of miles away and don't want me in their lives because I'm an atheist who never fit in with them.
Tomorrow I plan to get very drunk alone and play video games until I pass out.

Does your local community have any events going on?

 

[LonelyPrince]

i'm choosing to be alone for Christmas if i can. it's Christmas eve and i refuse to visit my grandparents house today with my family because after so many years it has finally worn me out to pretend anyone in this family gets along and that our family is anything other than abusive and dysfunctional. i've locked myself in my room for 4 days now just laying in bed and crying because i'm at my breaking point with all of it. i don't care if i "ruin" their Christmas. they've ruined my life since childhood.

i wish my family would just give up the act and be like that too. they're so performative though. i told my family i want nothing for Christmas and my mom still bought me gifts. i'm so sure its just so i look like a bitch on Christmas for refusing her gifts and making her waste money. everything is meaningless junk to me especially if it's from somebody who abuses me/enables abuse. nobody in this house even leaves their rooms or speaks/spends time with each other. it makes me lose my mind over how fake my family is.

My family is fake too. My mother's dream/fantasy was always to have a family of her own, but this family is highly dysfunctional and toxic. She keeps performing to keep her fantasy alive, ignoring the problems and enabling my father's shitty behavior. Christmas seems like a cruel reminder of what could have been. I'm sorry your situation is similiar

I am literally crying right now about being alone for Christmas. I don't have friends, and my small family are thousands of miles away and don't want me in their lives because I'm an atheist who never fit in with them.
Tomorrow I plan to get very drunk alone and play video games until I pass out.

That's probably what I will do too.

 

[violetforever]

My family is fake too. My mother's dream/fantasy was always to have a family of her own, but this family is highly dysfunctional and toxic. She keeps performing to keep her fantasy alive, ignoring the problems and enabling my father's shitty behavior. Christmas seems like a cruel reminder of what could have been. I'm sorry your situation is similiar

sorry for u too.

 

[SilentSadness]

I understand that this is a very miserable time of the year for a lot of people, as always it's another example of pro lifers leaving suicidal people to rot after taking away their ctb methods. I am sorry about your situation and think this time of year is exceptionally cruel.

 

[MicahBell]

Who else will be alone Christmas?

I have friends already hanging out with their families on Christmas eve meanwhile our house looks abbandoned.
No one speaks to each other and maybe it's better that way.

I honestly don't know what's gonna happen tommorrow...I'll probably just be locked in my room doing the same shit as i always do: bedrotting and videogames lol.

Nobody expects any gifts from anyone here anymore.

Family is just strangers forced to live under the same roof, nothing will make me change my mind over this.

Not physically alone, but yk. They decided to go to a restaurant they knew I couldn't eat at so I'm sitting alone in the car at 8:30 at night on Christmas eve lmao

 

[itsgone2]

I think it's better to be alone than have to spend time with people you don't like. I can't speak from personal experience but for a long time I've thought the whole family message around Christmas time to be quite pretentious cause it makes you have to assume that everyone has a nice family and if they don't then all you need is good vibes to sort it out.

For me, I'd rather have my fake family back.
My immediate family was kind of fake, in laws were less so. But either way there was somewhere to go and something to do. Being alone just sucks. What I've done to my life is truly incredible. I'd love to have family again.
Others may disagree. Just thought I'd give you my perspective.

 

[effervescent]

Alone with no plans, family distant, recently ditched by the only person in the world I cared about. Christmas is never great but this is just torture.

For me, I'd rather have my fake family back.
My immediate family was kind of fake, in laws were less so. But either way there was somewhere to go and something to do. Being alone just sucks. What I've done to my life is truly incredible. I'd love to have family again.
Others may disagree. Just thought I'd give you my perspective.

Completely agree.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Ive tried to be happy this Christmas. Giving to others and trying to focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

But im alone sitting under a tree on Christmas day to escape the abuse at home while others all round me are celebrating with their families. It reminds me of how much a failure I am and how much of a wasted life ive had. This is my reality. A woman no man ever considered worthy of having a family with. What do all these normal People have that has totally evaded me all my life.

No friends even contact me today but i spend money buying presents - and not a thought - nothing in return. Not even a message to say merry Christmas.

I miss my dog and my mum- the only ones in my life of over 50 yrs who cared. I could of gone to my church lunch but its all married couples and singles like me - trying to be happy - i respect them - they are stronger than me - but just dont have the strength, i feel like a totally failure.

 

[Crematoryy]

Who else will be alone Christmas?

I have friends already hanging out with their families on Christmas eve meanwhile our house looks abbandoned.
No one speaks to each other and maybe it's better that way.

I honestly don't know what's gonna happen tommorrow...I'll probably just be locked in my room doing the same shit as i always do: bedrotting and videogames lol.

Nobody expects any gifts from anyone here anymore.

Family is just strangers forced to live under the same roof, nothing will make me change my mind over this.

For the first time, my overwhelming loneliness makes me wish for widespread homicide against all who love romantically. This world has failed me, and it must fail everyone else as well. Hatred for those born into families with higher incomes than mine (which, in turn, is the majority of humanity).
They possess the privilege of loving. A privilege I never had. If there is no justice.

 

[Lfsn_kivacs-rei]

Not alone but feeling very alone. Tomorrow will be worse (big toxic family get together). Reading all of your posts makes me feel less alone right now, so thank you. I have a rule for myself about not ctb on or near Christmas, and this place is helping me get through to the new year.