purpp37
Purpp
- Oct 28, 2025
- 35
Last week I had 16 drinks, 12ml of 1,4-butanediol and 6 Xanax at once and even though I was sobering up I stood up in the bathroom and got dizzy and hit my head against the door handle and everything went fuzzy and I wasn't able to speak and started stumbling around and then it was as if I blinked and I woke up with everything spinning in circles and sounds echoing and I was strapped down to a bed in the hospital and started screaming and crying. They told me I had a seizure. It lasted at the very least 21 minutes but it took 30+ minutes for the ambulance to arrive and when the paramedics came I was still having a seizure and I had thrown up so much that vomit was going into my lungs and I was going to die from basically choking or drowning in my own spew (wonderful I know). They had to suction out the vomit from my lungs and under the Glasgow Coma Scale I was a 7 which is apparently not good.
I had severe hypotension and my heart rate was barely reaching 30 and I basically had no signs of life except for a faint pulse at times, I got so close to dying and yet I still somehow survived unfortunately.
I had absolutely no memory of the actual seizure it was it time skipped and I was just in hospital. They only gave me an injection of thiamine which I already take 300mg of daily so it didn't really do anything to calm me at all, they didn't even give me a single fucking valium. I did a CT scan and they said I should be alright but I might have problems with memory, motor coordination and other shit. I just wish I died apparently I had like a 20-40% chance of dying so that was unfortunate, I had a head injury and blew out on juice the night prior as well. I haven't been doing juice since but I've been having up to a bottle of vodka daily still. I don't give a fuck how close I am to dying the only reason I want to go to detox is so I can get my drivers license back
I feel fucking retarded it's hard for me to string together coherent thoughts and even speaking is difficult and I'm stuttering and mixing words up and saying things that aren't coherent and I feel like my IQ has dropped by at least a good quarter or third. I'm even more depressed and angry and everything sucks even more now and I just have to deal with it and life getting worse and worse. I hope the next seizure I have actually kills me because I don't just want to be a vegetable I hate this
I usually try to have decent grammar and spelling but I've been unable to sleep and my mind is deteriorating and I feel literally retarded my cognitive abilities have already been declining rapidly over the past few years and this is only going to make it worse so I'm probably just going to give up and ramblepost into the void even though I know nobody gives a fuck
I had severe hypotension and my heart rate was barely reaching 30 and I basically had no signs of life except for a faint pulse at times, I got so close to dying and yet I still somehow survived unfortunately.
I had absolutely no memory of the actual seizure it was it time skipped and I was just in hospital. They only gave me an injection of thiamine which I already take 300mg of daily so it didn't really do anything to calm me at all, they didn't even give me a single fucking valium. I did a CT scan and they said I should be alright but I might have problems with memory, motor coordination and other shit. I just wish I died apparently I had like a 20-40% chance of dying so that was unfortunate, I had a head injury and blew out on juice the night prior as well. I haven't been doing juice since but I've been having up to a bottle of vodka daily still. I don't give a fuck how close I am to dying the only reason I want to go to detox is so I can get my drivers license back
I feel fucking retarded it's hard for me to string together coherent thoughts and even speaking is difficult and I'm stuttering and mixing words up and saying things that aren't coherent and I feel like my IQ has dropped by at least a good quarter or third. I'm even more depressed and angry and everything sucks even more now and I just have to deal with it and life getting worse and worse. I hope the next seizure I have actually kills me because I don't just want to be a vegetable I hate this
I usually try to have decent grammar and spelling but I've been unable to sleep and my mind is deteriorating and I feel literally retarded my cognitive abilities have already been declining rapidly over the past few years and this is only going to make it worse so I'm probably just going to give up and ramblepost into the void even though I know nobody gives a fuck
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