All of the things we won’t have to deal with after we ctb

[Alex]

-the daylight burning my eyes
-burning up when it's over 78
-freezing to death when it's under 77
-the sound of 99.992% of people's voices (grating horror)
-the way any kind of clothing squeezes
-fluorescent lights causing such anxiety that my stomach churns
-the presence of people causing the same anxiety

-The Curse will be gone. I'll be gone.

This is where I pat myself on the back for not passing this damn thing on to children.

Are you Autistic? Because you should autistic. Like me

 

[Miss clefable]

Fear and pain

 

[bigj75]

Fear and pain

Yes

 

[bigj75]

WTF? Jesus!

Shit like this makes me so mad. She never asked to be sexually abused but yet she is going to suffer from this her whole life. Then people are gonna wonder why she ctb'ed. SMH

 

[RM5998]

• Academics
• Searching for a job
• Lack of money
• Eventual failure of my body - at least my eyes, bones and liver, due to genetic factors. (My eyes have already started, the rest will soon follow)
• Loneliness

Wow, I sound like an entitled piece of shit. Sorry for that.

 

[MAIO]

Let's brainstorm a bit and start listing all of the things we won't have to do/deal with/endure after we ctb.

I'll start. This list is non exhaustive, but it's a beginning. And it's personal, obviously. You may or may not identify with all of the things on my list but I am curious what's on yours.

Here's mine:

-taxes
-humiliation
-grief
-periods (sorry I'm a girl and I hate them)
-rejection
-work
-feeling ugly
-wondering if you hurt someone's feelings
-lack of money and fear about homelessness
-existential dread and endless musings about meaning
-voting for stupid politicians
-being sick with colds and the flu
-being alone
-endless cleaning up
-going to the bathroom
-modern day air travel
-looking at myself in the mirror

That time I was coaxed into moving across the country, going from the best position I have ever been to the absolute worse, than having a week to find a place and told I should be greatful, great times.

 

[Smilla]

• Academics
• Searching for a job
• Lack of money
• Eventual failure of my body - at least my eyes, bones and liver, due to genetic factors. (My eyes have already started, the rest will soon follow)
• Loneliness

Wow, I sound like an entitled piece of shit. Sorry for that.

How do you sound like an entitled piece of shit?

 

[RM5998]

How do you sound like an entitled piece of shit?

Looking on the list, it feels petty to write about problems that small. I've got this feeling that I owe my parents something better for investing in me.

 

[Smilla]

Looking on the list, it feels petty to write about problems that small. I've got this feeling that I owe my parents something better for investing in me.

I understand (sorta). But a lot of things are out of your control, like loneliness (often), and your physical deterioration.

 

[Ashpac]

So much to say on the subject from all of us.

The thing I cant wait to die for more than any other reason is so I dont have to wake up in this body anymore, and my mind.

Apart from that people can fuck off and no worries about money would be awesome.

To have peace and be free is totally worth it by ending it all.

 

[bigj75]

I understand (sorta). But a lot of things are out of your control, like loneliness (often), and your physical deterioration.

This. Suffering is subjective. People are different. There are too many variables for each person that make that all irrelevant. You could even raise two people the exact same way until they are adults and they will still have differences between the two because of their genetics and brain chemistry. For that reason when people try make the argument that you shouldn't be depressed because of all the good things you have it goes through one ear and out the other.

 

[Diane]

Let's brainstorm a bit and start listing all of the things we won't have to do/deal with/endure after we ctb.

I'll start. This list is non exhaustive, but it's a beginning. And it's personal, obviously. You may or may not identify with all of the things on my list but I am curious what's on yours.

Here's mine:

-taxes
-humiliation
-grief
-periods (sorry I'm a girl and I hate them)
-rejection
-work
-feeling ugly
-wondering if you hurt someone's feelings
-lack of money and fear about homelessness
-existential dread and endless musings about meaning
-voting for stupid politicians
-being sick with colds and the flu
-being alone
-endless cleaning up
-going to the bathroom
-modern day air travel
-looking at myself in the mirror

For me:

*OCD.
*Involuntary body movements
*Being able to care for myself when family is gone.
*The fear of loosing your ability to taste food.
*Loneliness
*Having to live on a very small monthly income
*Ridicule from others because of my condition
*Being put in a psychiatric hospital
*Being older than my soul is
*And I wouldn't need to get my disability check increased because I wouldn't need a check

 

[wezel]

Humiliation
Isolation
Fake people
Exploitation
Illness

 

[jaemus12]

Life.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Depression
Anxiety
M.S.
Lack of money and fear of homelessness

(Although, believe it or not, I can live with the MS. It's the depression and anxiety that are killing me.)

 

[bigj75]

Depression
Anxiety
M.S.
Lack of money and fear of homelessness

(Although, believe it or not, I can live with the MS. It's the depression and anxiety that are killing me.)

Same here

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Same here

Do you have MS, too, or do you mean the depression and anxiety? It's not genetic, but my sister has MS, too. How weird is that?

Still, as bad as MS is, it doesn't even compare to the discomfort of depression and anxiety.

 

[Smilla]

Do you have MS, too, or do you mean the depression and anxiety? It's not genetic, but my sister has MS, too. How weird is that?

Still, as bad as MS is, it doesn't even compare to the discomfort of depression and anxiety.

Does the MS contribute to the depression? I had a neighbor who had MS and his depression was horrific, he rarely left the house. I imagine there would be a strong link between the two.

 

[bigj75]

Do you have MS, too, or do you mean the depression and anxiety? It's not genetic, but my sister has MS, too. How weird is that?

Still, as bad as MS is, it doesn't even compare to the discomfort of depression and anxiety.

I meant the depression and anxiety.

 

[Giih]

Tests, people, and other stuffs

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Does the MS contribute to the depression? I had a neighbor who had MS and his depression was horrific, he rarely left the house. I imagine there would be a strong link between the two.

I've actually been treated for depression and anxiety since 2001, and was just diagnosed with MS in March of 2017. However, my neurologist said from my MRI it looks like I've had MS for years. My psychiatrist thinks there's a chance the MS has caused my mental health problems.

 

[Smilla]

I've actually been treated for depression and anxiety since 2001, and was just diagnosed with MS in March of 2017. However, my neurologist said from my MRI it looks like I've had MS for years. My psychiatrist thinks there's a chance the MS has caused my mental health problems.

You have been through hell. I'm so sorry.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I meant the depression and anxiety.

It's very hard to live with depression and anxiety. I would gladly keep the MS if I could get rid of those two. I just can't function. I rarely leave the apartment, I spend a lot of time in bed, I have a hard time concentrating and the anhedonia is terrible.

I'm sorry you have to deal with those things, too. Yes, one good thing about ctb is that I won't have to deal with them anymore! Anxiety makes me afraid of everything and everyone.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

You have been through hell. I'm so sorry.

Thank you, but you've been through hell, too, or you wouldn't be here!

You're so kind. Oh yes, and I definitely won't miss colds anymore! I'm a big baby and when I have a cold it's the end of the world. Lol

One day we will all have peace, thank goodness.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Unexpected but welcomed orgasms

 

[bigj75]

Unexpected but welcomed orgasms

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

just saying it like it is.

 

[RM5998]

Unexpected but welcomed orgasms

Cool. Can't relate.

I don't even know what's left field anymore.

 

[bigj75]

just saying it like it is.

So you are foreal? sounds like a wet dream.

 

[RacilyDank]

Pain
Anxiety
Depression
People who say 'of' when they mean 'have'

Sorry if any of you do that