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NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
531
Sometimes even dwelling a lot on the thought of hanging myself makes my heart race so I feel like I'd need something to relax myself and there's no way I could get my hands on drugs so I've been thinking of alcohol.

If I remember right, my uncle had first gotten drunk before shooting himself. My parents said it was most likely an impulsive act, he was depressed because of a break up.

Though hanging would be more difficult then but I feel like noose knot and bowline knot are simple enough to do if I don't get blackout drunk.

If you were to ctb would you go fully sober or not?
 
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Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
156
When I take my SN I'm not going sober. I will use benzos to calm me down, and I will skip sleeping for one night, I found out that sleep deprivation reduces my SI.
 
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Greasyhair

Greasyhair

Member
Oct 18, 2025
65
I have never been drunk before, and I really don't want my first time be when I am CTB. Despite the urge to drink myself into oblivion in this land of alcoholics I will have at least have that small victory that I didn't.

...I found out that sleep deprivation reduces my SI.
Sleep deprivation does weirds things. I used to stay awake so I would be in that state of functioning, but not thinking when I was scared. I also found I write more creatively when I am lightly sleep deprivated.
 
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Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
156
I have never been drunk before, and I really don't want my first time be when I am CTB. Despite the urge to drink myself into oblivion in this land of alcoholics I will have at least have that small victory that I didn't.


Sleep deprivation does weirds things. I used to stay awake so I would be in that state of functioning, but not thinking when I was scared. I also found I write more creatively when I am lightly sleep deprivated.
If you were never drunk ever before, my advice would be take it slowly Step-by-step. don't consume too much alcohol in your first time. I made that mistake many years ago and I was puking like crazy and had a bad hangover that lasted the entire next day. For your first time drunkenness, I would recommend drinking beer only or you can try drinking hard liquor mixed with Coca-Cola (or any kind of juice)
 
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NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
531
I have never been drunk before, and I really don't want my first time be when I am CTB. Despite the urge to drink myself into oblivion in this land of alcoholics I will have at least have that small victory that I didn't.
This would apply for me if this was about smoking lol.
Too poor to become an alcoholic or smoker ngl.
 
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itsgone2

Arcanist
Sep 21, 2025
458
If I remember right, my uncle had first gotten drunk before shooting himself. My parents said it was most likely an impulsive act, he was depressed because of a break up.
This is common. I've known 5 people to ctb, all gun and at least 3 had been drinking. Maybe all 5 but don't know. But Saturday I drank some, and even though I was feeling very low, I couldn't even make an attempt. Unreal. Even as I type this I have a three hour window of no one wondering where I am. And still won't. I'm so frustrated
 
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NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
531
This is common. I've known 5 people to ctb, all gun and at least 3 had been drinking. Maybe all 5 but don't know. But Saturday I drank some, and even though I was feeling very low, I couldn't even make an attempt. Unreal. Even as I type this I have a three hour window of no one wondering where I am. And still won't. I'm so frustrated
Tbh I can't really recall if he was the one who used shooting as the method or if it was my other uncle. (both of my mom's brothers have ctb)

Since alcohol affects everyone differently it's ability to numb emotions like fear varies.
 
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