ah shit, here we go again

[self.destractive]

first time posting in the recovery thread. sorry if i wang anything up.

today i have an appointment with my therapist. i was supposed to come out as nonbinary via note, but this past week has been hell and i couldnt find the motivation to. got ideation up the wazoo

ive been having too many doubts to come to the conclusion of CTB. at this point, if it happens itll be impulse driven, which isnt ideal by any means

cant go to the ward because my dad needs his hip replaced and i wouldnt want to take away from my family financially right now

dont really know what to tell my therapist today, any of you have similar experiences?

 

[AutoTap]

Yeh I feel ctb is the only way out but I'm to scared/guilty/doubtful of it. So I'm trying to get better. I feel like therapy is bullshit but everyone who I've seen get better says therapy helped them so idk...

Im still trying meds rn. Not on any benzodiazepines or on really high doses in anything as I'm scared of addiction and dependency. So I can still do some work in that. But man it takes forever.

 

[Cherrypea]

There's been a few threads about telling your therapist you want to ctb. The response seems to depend on where you live. I did it in the UK recently and she is helping with coping strategies. Well trying to help. In parts of the US it's likely to get you taken to a psychiatric unit.