Venting Again i'm right

[Amidaa]

Why am i so stupid yet again i was right. for a moment i though stuff might have changed and i really though this time is different thought i might finally have friends or a nice friend group but in the end i'm again just that one person that is just there nothing but just a person they tolerate to be around even though i have not done anything wrong or said anything bad. or i might have done it i dunno anymore at this point. but my conclusion is simple i'm in the same spot like before just a forgettable person that don't belong anywhere. this is kinda the same situation this weekend i went out with my mom to celebrate for my birthday everything was good was fine but then at the end everything got out of hand again she start to get way to drunk and start to fight with me. like she is the definition of not knowing her own limits i also get a bunch of drinks but i still have my common sense and knew how much to drink. like i was really happy to celebrate it because at my birthday it self i had to work and got shout out calls names put down being handle like a dog from the street al because i said to my boss that the only battry we had for the powertool was broken he blamed me that it was broken but i din't even knew it was broken until i had to use it. at least my stepdad brought me to a nice dinner to my favourite place and yeah i drank a lot that night just to cope and to pretend i celebrate my hellish of a birthday but i do be very thankfull for that my stepdad always want the best for me. but yeah i was just already on the edge the whole week and that weekend with my mom just crushed me again and now the so called friend group i though i had also crused me. like i said before and will say again this existence is just nothing but suffering this place so called earth is just filled with parasites. i'm really really at the edge but i just can't go right now i still need to get some stuff in order before i go and need to make sure my stepdad is gonna be alright. i'm so tired i let my guard down just ones and everything want to crumble me. the only thought that bring me some comfort now is for the day i can finally go for my journey to peace. until then i'm just coping with alcohol and smoking wonder how long that will last.

i just need to vent and i'm what drunk sorry for the trouble to waste time i'm just so sorry.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

People are so cruel and cause unnecessary suffering for others.
I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[Amidaa]

People are so cruel and cause unnecessary suffering for others.
I'm sorry you are going through this.

yeah i know i guess i'm just a fool who need to be stomped on over and over before i can see it
I appreciate your kind words

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this dreadful existence, I find it awful how other people just make existing even more unbearable.