After first therapy session

[ironrain]

Nothing really changed except I doubt whether I want to ctb. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I'm just guilty of all of this stuff I've done. And ctb just because I'm afraid of consequences is selfish. And I don't want to do anything. I'm just a shitty person because I don't want to do anything. I don't even feel anything about it. Just a little upset that what I thought turned out to be true. Everything pointed to that - the fact that I can't put myself in any box be it depression or ADHD. I feel like I'm entitled compared to you all guys. Trying not cry on the tram rn haha. I wish I had legit reason to why I'm like this. Or a legit reason to ctb. I have neither. It's all just my fault
Also i wish that painless death didn't require going to Darknet

 

[idfwlnh]

It really unlucky that you were only provided with therapy from uni. Only if therapy of all kinds are cheaper right...but hey, still hope you're doing well. I certainly can't understand how you feel right now, but I'm still hoping you will feel better, after crying, sleeping or whatever

 

[ironrain]

T

It really unlucky that you were only provided with therapy from uni. Only if therapy of all kinds are cheaper right...but hey, still hope you're doing well. I certainly can't understand how you feel right now, but I'm still hoping you will feel better, after crying, sleeping or whatever

Thank you, it's so sweet. I am fine, I'm just a bad person hehe :')

 

[glass-petal]

T

Thank you, it's so sweet. I am fine, I'm just a bad person hehe :')

it sounds like you're being exceptionally hard on yourself right now. of course, i don't know you or what you've been through so i can't pretend to understand the whole picture. but often times when a person is carrying so much pain, regret, or disappointment for so long, things can get a bit distorted. your brain can convince you that every mistake defines you, that every flaw is permanent, and that you are somehow less worthy of forgiveness than everyone else is. it can be easy to forget that no one's perfect, that everyone has made mistakes/done things they aren't proud of. i know it's easier said than done, but please try and be a bit more kind to yourself if you can.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

Nothing really changed except I doubt whether I want to ctb. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I'm just guilty of all of this stuff I've done. And ctb just because I'm afraid of consequences is selfish. And I don't want to do anything. I'm just a shitty person because I don't want to do anything. I don't even feel anything about it. Just a little upset that what I thought turned out to be true. Everything pointed to that - the fact that I can't put myself in any box be it depression or ADHD. I feel like I'm entitled compared to you all guys. Trying not cry on the tram rn haha. I wish I had legit reason to why I'm like this. Or a legit reason to ctb. I have neither. It's all just my fault
Also i wish that painless death didn't require going to Darknet

I'm glad you doubt wanting to ctb even if you're not. You don't need a very good reason to feel this way. You feel how you feel. I'm proud of you for trying you're best to go help yourself. It's really hard