Advice for making suicide note as comforting as possible

[9BBN]

I'm trying to decide between leaving a comforting note and making my ctb look like an accident. I would prefer to leave a note that's brutally honest, but I worry it would probably destroy a lot more people.

If I were to leave a note, what will ease people the most? I was thinking something like, "I forgive all of you," or a white lie like "I have cancer," or even something direct like, "what happened has happened, I'm sorry, so please move on if you can." What are your thoughts? Have you heard of or researched a particularly comforting note?

 

[FuneralCry]

I plan to say things like 'there is nothing you could have could have done to stop this' and 'now I am at peace, free from suffering'. I think this may give them some closure. Out of the options listed, maybe telling them to move on could be the best one. I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[willitpass]

i have cancer can easily be disproved with an autopsy. i don't know the case for you, but i'm all of my notes i have said things along the lines of "i did everything i could to get better and not get to this point, i tried. please forgive me, i did what i could. i'm sorry". they are usually very long so that's just a small portion but you get the jist

 

[Smart No More]

I've done a little reading on this and what I learned is not to write anything like "I forgive you", "don't blame yourself", "please forgive me". Things like that can put the idea into the heads of people who may not have felt those ways before you mentioned it. Instead you can write, "please be happy that my suffering has ended", "I didn't want to leave you but my suffering made life unlivable', 'nobody would be able to change or help this'" thank you for the love and good times that made the life I had enjoyable'. The trick is to avoid leaving ends untied because people will feel grief because they can't respond to you once you're gone and that will play on their minds, hearts and conscience indefinitely. Sometimes it's just a case of wording what you want to say tactfully and positively. Also if they know that you accepted your situation even though it' s unfortunate and that you passed without suffering they will feel better. Obviously there is going to be some grief which is unavoidable but using these tactics you can leave things as whole as possible. A relative of mine died of a heart attack. It was near wnough instant and we were told it would have been so fast they never suffered. It would have been a short shock and then peace. Hopefully this is useful to you.

 

[9BBN]

i have cancer can easily be disproved with an autopsy. i don't know the case for you, but i'm all of my notes i have said things along the lines of "i did everything i could to get better and not get to this point, i tried. please forgive me, i did what i could. i'm sorry". they are usually very long so that's just a small portion but you get the jist

I do have cancer but it's not the primary reason I'm dying. I thought I'd mention it and let people draw their own conclusions. I appreciate the idea of mentioning recovery attempts.

I've done a little reading on this and what I learned is not to write anything like "I forgive you", "don't blame yourself", "please forgive me". Things like that can put the idea into the heads of people who may not have felt those ways before you mentioned it. Instead you can write, "please be happy that my suffering has ended", "I didn't want to leave you but my suffering made life unlivable', 'nobody would be able to change or help this'" thank you for the love and good times that made the life I had enjoyable'. The trick is to avoid leaving ends untied because people will feel grief because they can't respond to you once you're gone and that will play on their minds, hearts and conscience indefinitely. Sometimes it's just a case of wording what you want to say tactfully and positively. Also if they know that you accepted your situation even though it' s unfortunate and that you passed without suffering they will feel better. Obviously there is going to be some grief which is unavoidable but using these tactics you can leave things as whole as possible. A relative of mine died of a heart attack. It was near wnough instant and we were told it would have been so fast they never suffered. It would have been a short shock and then peace. Hopefully this is useful to you.

I like the idea of tying up all loose ends. I was trying to do this by saying "I forgive all of you," but I can see how it gives people more to grieve about. I appreciate your advice and examples.

I plan to say things like 'there is nothing you could have could have done to stop this' and 'now I am at peace, free from suffering'. I think this may give them some closure. Out of the options listed, maybe telling them to move on could be the best one. I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Thanks FC.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My note is only halfway done, but I actually went for the opposite approach and the theme of the note is in trying my best to emphasize exactly how hopeless my situation is by clarifying the many reasons why I would just be an even more terrible person if allowed to continue to live. Obviously this might only work for me, or it might not work at all. Either way I do think trying to state clearly how awful life would be like for you or the people around you is one possible method…

 

[boc]

I have my notes written and I went with the same approach, trying to comfort people. Not leaving blame or guilt tripping people. I wrote notes to a total of 4 people (parents, two friends and an ex). Each note is approximately one page long, I tried to be concise. They all follow the same general flow:

1. This is not your fault, and there is nothing you could have done
2. This was my decision that I made rationally and thought through, and I sought professional help before making this decision
3. Thank you for everything
4. I love you

I don't go into specifics about why I made the decision other than I'm depressed. I don't think it adds value for me personally. I agree with a lot of the above posters. I hope it lands well with all of them. I guess I won't know in the end.

I have the N waiting for me. Just waiting for a good day to come along.

 

[Shadowplay]

I'm not sure I wanna leave a note, but then I want to list my funeral song so I feel I dunno....

 

[Insomniac]

my advice is to truly forgive them and convince yourself that it's not their fault. If you can convince yourself, then you can convince them.

when you do, it will transpire through your letter I think.

 

[Kobusu]

I apologize, as I do not know your circumstances, but I would consider leaving the most honest note you can. You are, or will be, dying, and there's no reason to leave anything hidden. No reason to lie, to yourself or to anyone else. Why deprive yourself of your final chance to be honest with the world?

 

[Cherry xoxo]

I'm trying to decide between leaving a comforting note and making my ctb look like an accident. I would prefer to leave a note that's brutally honest, but I worry it would probably destroy a lot more people.

If I were to leave a note, what will ease people the most? I was thinking something like, "I forgive all of you," or a white lie like "I have cancer," or even something direct like, "what happened has happened, I'm sorry, so please move on if you can." What are your thoughts? Have you heard of or researched a particularly comforting note?

Just be honest, letting your loved ones know the truth about the pain you're going through might help them understand why you were driven to take your own life... Explain a day of your feelings and emotions

Recently I've been hearing about alot of suicides around me and people make comments like 'I don't know how someone can do that' and unfortunately unless someone is going through depression or having suicidal thoughts, they don't really understand how difficult living through each day is, so maybe helping them understand what a day in the life of you would feel like might help them understand

 

[Smart No More]

I don't think anybody is suggesting dishonesty. I'd assume honesty goes without saying but there is nothing wrong with being considerate in how one presents that honesty. There is an inevitability that people are going to be hurt as it is. The worry for some, and I assume this to be the case for OP, that long lasting suffering may be inflicted on loved ones left behind. Usually people that are saying "I don't know how they could do it" are far removed and not part of the core family involved in the matter. It's idol talk as they indulge in some form of gossip because if someone really thinks about it they do know. Fact is it happened so it just takes a little thought to imagine what it would take for somebody to reach a point to go through with ctb. Those people probably never read a suicide note, brutally honest or tactfully written. I find the "just be honest" retort as idol as the "I don't know how they could do it" comment. It may have merit somewhere but in the context of this thread it isn't helpful as OP is asking for help on softening the blow not driving the nail in further.