Venting Accidentally dating someone

[Wolf Girl]

Sorry for spamming up the forum tonight, but... My attachment trauma from early childhood is deeply triggered for the past few weeks and tonight is bad. I can't ctb now, I'm lacking the conviction to complete because I've become interested in some things in life this past week. But I'm so anxious at the prospect of continuing to face so much suffering. I just want comfort.

The person I most want to talk to manipulated me and then blocked me, so that's not possible (and still hurts so bad I sort of want to ctb over it). The other possible person is the guy I've accidentally stumbled into seeing for the past month. We're in our 30s, so it's not super intense between us, there's no limerence, and it's moving at an even pace, which is fine. But I want to talk to him way more than I get to. He doesn't text much or call between dates and I'll admit it bums me out. I'm not sure what to think because I see a lot of stuff on social media telling you to cut off people who don't text you consistently because they don't care. I can see a pattern in his behavior, but I don't know how to interpret it. We're both into kink and met on FetLife, so sometimes it feels like it's all based on sex, but he seems to like me when we're talking too.

I don't know, I just wish that things had worked out with the person who broke my heart because I was so comfortable and attached to him. I hate this horrible early relationship stage. I don't want to have to keep going through it to not be alone.

I'm so lonely.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I need an accidental relationship! I dont have insurance tho.

 

[Dejected 55]

I don't even know how you have an "accidental" relationship.

 

[naookoo128]

I'm sorry to hear that you were rejected so harshly, and I can relate to many things you´re saying, although I´m a male. And tbh, I´ve been on the other side too, being the one that´s not texting back a lot and so on, sometimes even fully hiding from everything and everyone, including my love, which is terrible and feels like being ghosted for the other person, it sucks and I´m ashamed of that. But I never did not care, that was never the reason for it.
My second relationship was kind of an "accident" too, both of us just broke up with someone else, everything happened very fast but we knew that we were building on sand. I kinda had an sexuel awaking with her, which was great, but sooner or later it was the only thing that was constantly good in our relationship, where we also developed and so on, but that was not enough for us.
I hope you can talk to him and find out why he has these patterns, because just interpreting (and being interpreted) can be so fucking tiring.