Discussion A balanced view on this website

[woxihuanni]

There is a giant difference between saying 'no shame in backing out' and 'but have you tried taking walks'. The former is basic decency, the latter deserves to be buried alive.

What people don't understand is, when it is too late, being patronised and invalidated just makes death ever so much more painful. The only thing I regret would be not taking revenge on patronising subhumans.

 

[SipSop]

The only thing I regret would be not taking revenge on patronising subhumans.

Its is a odd feeling when you realise that things had become personal.
You had been hurt.
I feel exactly the same way.
And the thing is I am peaceful person, not a hot head. But when you are pushed beyond a limit you just know you have to set the score.

 

[woxihuanni]

Its is a odd feeling when you realise that things had become personal.
You had been hurt.
I feel exactly the same way.
And the thing is I am peaceful person, not a hot head. But when you are pushed beyond a limit you just know you have to set the score.

Oh yes. I've let go of a fuckload of things, but I am really pushed beyond my limit now. Not that I can do anything, it just sucks.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I had read your thread earlier and I kept thinking about it.
I really do not know what do youe xpect form this place.
People come here because they want to die. So what is your point?

You will not find a community who will understand you better than this one.
Most people say: if you want to die is fine, if you want to live is fine also.

So what do you actually want?
What is your point here?
People come here mainly because they want to die.
Of course there is alot of venting going on, including from myself, but this is what we feel.
People are in a suicidal state. Thinking about dying, wanting to die and preparing physically and mentally to pull the trigger.

People cannot read your mind when your moods swing. Of course they will encourage you to die when this is the purpose of this website. Wanting to escape misery ans suffering of our personal lives.
So tell me, what is your point criticising this community?

I don't know what your level of perception is currently at if your take away from having read my post is that I'm criticising the website or community.

I don't have the energy to correct this error.

 

[SipSop]

I don't know what your level of perception is currently at if your take away from having read my post is that I'm criticising the website or community.

I don't have the energy to correct this error.

Suit yourself.
My statement remains the same.
It is unfair of you to criticise members of this community for encouraging you to die when you post about a method you want to go.
And when you post about a method it means that you want to die, especially on this website.
So it is unfair of you to crticise this very thing.
I posted my method and they were some who were not interested in it and some who were interested. Some suggested me a different method more peaceful. And I took it to heart just as much, respecting their different point of view. You are unfair.
You want people to stop you on a website where people come for advice on how to die. Its a double bind, a no win situation you put people in.
Your negative statement of this website, this website wich helped me alot, is invalid.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Suit yourself.
My statement remains the same.
It is unfair of you to criticise members of this community for encouraging you to die when you post about a method you want to go.
And when you post about a method it means that you want to die, especially on this website.
So it is unfair of you to crticise this very thing.
I posted my method and they were some who were not interested in it and some who were interested. Some suggested me a different method more peaceful. And I took it to heart just as much, respecting their different point of view. You are unfair.
You want people to stop you on a website where people come for advice on how to die. Its a double bind, a no win situation you put people in.
Your negative statement of this website, this website wich helped me alot, is invalid.

Genuinely I'm not sure if English is your first language, but it is obvious that you've totally got the wrong end of the stick.

 

[SipSop]

Genuinely I'm not sure if English is your first language, but it is obvious that you've totally got the wrong end of the stick.

It is not my first language. No big deal.
No, I didn't.

 

[BipolarGuy]

It is not my first language. No big deal.
No, I didn't.

Oh ok, so English isn't your first language.

Ok well I've told you that you've misunderstood.
You asserted that you haven't, even though it's quite clear that you have.
Therefore I cannot help you.

Have a wonderful day and I hope you experience peace and relief of any negative symptoms you may be experiencing :)

 

[SipSop]

Ok well I've told you that you've misunderstood.
You asserted that you haven't, even though it's quite clear that you have.
Therefore I cannot help you.

I didn't asked for your help, you don't have to be so self-righteous about it. Like you would do me a favor if I would just drop my argument and agree that you are right when you clearly are not.
You just said that I am wrong, that I misunderstood your position without giving any argument why.
Maybe those jedi mind tricks work with your mommy to preted you are right without stating why, but not with me.
I argued my position.
You didn't.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I didn't asked for your help, you don't have to be so self-righteous about it. Like you would do me a favor if I would just drop my argument and agree that you are right when you clearly are not.
You just said that I am wrong, that I misunderstood your position without giving any argument why.
Maybe those jedi mind tricks work with your mommy to preted you are right without stating why, but not with me.
I argued my position.
You didn't.

Ok no worries.

If you're ever feeling down and need someone to chat to, my pm is open to you.

"May the force be with you"

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Thanks for voicing your opinion on this, and while I did not see the particular thread your referenced, I have seen a few behaving this way over the past 11 months. I recently joined SS, but lurked compulsively since October.

It feels to me that a tiny portion of the members here are hyper vigilant to squash any type of posts such as, "hey, OP have you considered....."

Some of you have seen my personal outlook on this type of topic in a recent thread I started, but I perceive sometimes that every now and then a random poster seemingly works in over drive trying to prevent any "hey, maybe take a step back and give it a little more time".

Personally, I hope the collective consensus within the community here will shift ever so slightly into a more "maybe give it one more week" sort of dynamic.

It's nice to see a thread like this.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

We have all found our way here- one route or another because we want to CTB. I see many have so much compassion and it's hard not to feel sad when someone makes that final decision. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who wants to say hey have you tried this or that, maybe give it more time but to remember why we are here. I do see some folks are receptive to others advice. I'm glad for that. I will repeat what I've mentioned prior- a saying once told to me by an ex bf. At car races the driver can't see the accident coming but the fans in the bleachers can. I take that as maybe someone else can offer advice that may change things around for the better. It also means others can see the direction your headed before you realize it as well. As a mother and someone with a huge heart I can't help but to try to share my life experiences maybe someone can benefit from it. I support everyones decisions wether it to be to CTB or say hmm I can try that. I said before, If I could hug all of you and suck up your pain and take it with me I would. My heart hurts for each and everyone of you. Im sorry so many people feel so much pain.

 

[Passerby]

You're just a good guy.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Thanks for voicing your opinion on this, and while I did not see the particular thread your referenced, I have seen a few behaving this way over the past 11 months. I recently joined SS, but lurked compulsively since October.

It feels to me that a tiny portion of the members here are hyper vigilant to squash any type of posts such as, "hey, OP have you considered....."

Some of you have seen my personal outlook on this type of topic in a recent thread I started, but I perceive sometimes that every now and then a random poster seemingly works in over drive trying to prevent any "hey, maybe take a step back and give it a little more time".

Personally, I hope the collective consensus within the community here will shift ever so slightly into a more "maybe give it one more week" sort of dynamic.

It's nice to see a thread like this.

Hey :)
Thank you for your contribution to the thread.
You have described exactly the dynamic of which I speak.
It is an unhealthy dynamic and approach, and the individuals who behave this way hide behind the official position of the website as it being "we don't encourage anybody either way, we just provide information".
They seek to use the official website position as a shield to defend their behaviour, which although may be not as overtly encouraging as saying "kill yourself", is certainly beyond merely providing information.

I don't think I saw your own thread about this. Feel free to link it as I'd be interested in having a read.

You're just a good guy.

And you're a good guy/girl, with a very nice profile picture - the universe takes my breath away :)

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Hey :)
Thank you for your contribution to the thread.
You have described exactly the dynamic of which I speak.
It is an unhealthy dynamic and approach, and the individuals who behave this way hide behind the official position of the website as it being "we don't encourage anybody either way, we just provide information".
They seek to use the official website position as a shield to defend their behaviour, which although may be not as overtly encouraging as saying "kill yourself", is certainly beyond merely providing information.

I don't think I saw your own thread about this. Feel free to link it as I'd be interested in having a read.

And you're a good guy/girl, with a very nice profile picture - the universe takes my breath away :)

Agree 110% with all you just stated.

My thread weaves into some of your themes, but isn't as direct as the OP. I perceive at times that some want to be the "traffic cop of SS" on many of these posts in order to control and sway the community's opinion. Frankly this drives me up the wall, and I see it as a potential manipulation tactic and I feel it's wrong..
.. Just my personal opinion.

I am old school and trying to figure out how all of this stuff works on this site. I don't know how to upload yet. But the thread I started was entitled "Am I a Manipulator?". The post is in the suicide forum and I started the thread on this Tuesday at 1:38 p.m. I see the thread on the second page of my cell phone.

Hopefully you will perceive some similar concepts to what you are stating in the OP.

 

[checkouttime]

Suit yourself.
My statement remains the same.
It is unfair of you to criticise members of this community for encouraging you to die when you post about a method you want to go

Are you saying its ok to encourage members to die? thats what that sounds like to me, reading that!

 

[BipolarGuy]

Are you saying its ok to encourage members to die? thats what that sounds like to me, reading that!

English isn't his first language (post #37).
He quite clearly got the wrong end of the stick and I have told him that he misunderstood, but he refused to believe it (post #37 again).
When I said I haven't got the energy to correct him, partly because he clearly isn't willing to listen, and I just responded by being kind, he accused me of trying to use "Jedi mind tricks" lol (post #39).

 

[checkouttime]

English isn't his first language (post #37).
He quite clearly got the wrong end of the stick and I have told him that he misunderstood, but he refused to believe it (post #37 again).
When I said I haven't got the energy to correct him, partly because he clearly isn't willing to listen, and I just responded by being kind, he accused me of trying to use "Jedi mind tricks" lol (post #39).

hell of a way to mix your words up though, if it got lost in translation!

 

[epic]

So what do you actually want?
What is your point here?
People come here mainly because they want to die.
Of course there is alot of venting going on, including from myself, but this is what we feel.
People are in a suicidal state. Thinking about dying, wanting to die and preparing physically and mentally to pull the trigger.

People cannot read your mind when your moods swing. Of course they will encourage you to die when this is the purpose of this website. Wanting to escape misery ans suffering of our personal lives.
So tell me, what is your point criticising this community?

I have not come here to die necessarily. I am just here to keep that option open . I am pretty sure most people if not all feel the same way as me.

So tell me, what is your point criticising this community?

The point of criticizing actions of some members is to make them rethink on attacking people who try to offer alternatives to CTB. There are people on here who have a chance of living a good and full life, but they have just gone through a bad divorce or financial hardship and that's why they are suicidal. If someone offers advice that works , their whole life can turn around, based on this I don't see why giving such advice should be looked down upon. The only thing I keep in mind is not to keep pestering when the advice is received by the person.

 

[BipolarGuy]

hell of a way to mix your words up though, if it got lost in translation!

Oh absolutely!

 

[XYZ]

, but I am really pushed beyond my limit now.

But have you tried talking walks?

 

[BipolarGuy]

Agree 110% with all you just stated.

My thread weaves into some of your themes, but isn't as direct as the OP. I perceive at times that some want to be the "traffic cop of SS" on many of these posts in order to control and sway the community's opinion. Frankly this drives me up the wall, and I see it as a potential manipulation tactic and I feel it's wrong..
.. Just my personal opinion.

I am old school and trying to figure out how all of this stuff works on this site. I don't know how to upload yet. But the thread I started was entitled "Am I a Manipulator?". The post is in the suicide forum and I started the thread on this Tuesday at 1:38 p.m. I see the thread on the second page of my cell phone.

Hopefully you will perceive some similar concepts to what you are stating in the OP.

I agree with your comment about some people appearing to want to take on the role of "traffic cop of SS".

Why is it that some people feel the need to act as though they are bellwethers of this community?

Almost invariably, those who do so have sought to drive a thread in a certain direction or silence an opposing perspective, just as you say.

I think part of the issue is that highly vulnerable people are not in a mindset such that they are ready to spot or defend themselves against highly manipulative people or predatory behaviour.
This is not a failing on their/our part, as it is a result of mental state. But predators seek to take advantage of the relative ease by which vulnerable people may be coerced.

 

[XYZ]

but as members we should not defend the website by pretending that unsavoury behaviour does not happen on occasion

From what I have seen in (many) previous posts there is a consensus among long time users that this site, though wonderful in many respects, is home to predators, trolls and disingenuous people with hidden agendas.

I am not sure why you are under the impression that people here pretend that is not the case.

In my experience mods and long time users caution newer members to be careful. There is even a stickied thread about scams.

I don't see anyone pretending this is the land of milk and honey.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I agree with your comment about some people appearing to want to take on the role of "traffic cop of SS".

Why is it that some people feel the need to act as though they are bellwethers of this community?

Almost invariably, those who do so have sought to drive a thread in a certain direction or silence an opposing perspective, just as you say.

I think part of the issue is that highly vulnerable people are not in a mindset such that they are ready to spot or defend themselves against highly manipulative people or predatory behaviour.
This is not a failing on their/our part, as it is a result of mental state. But predators seek to take advantage of the relative ease by which vulnerable people may be coerced.

Amen!

 

[checkouttime]

I'm not a traffic cop.......although at weekends i like to dress up.........the cats out the bag!

 

[XYZ]

To me, pro-choice includes presenting other options than suicide for the person to make an informed choice. To try to prevent their choice is a negation of their autonomy

This should be written in the forum by-laws.

 

[BipolarGuy]

From what I have seen in (many) previous posts there is a consensus among long time users that this site, though wonderful in many respects, is home to predators, trolls and disingenuous people with hidden agendas.

I am not sure why you are under the impression that people here pretend that is not the case.

In my experience mods and long time users caution newer members to be careful. There is even a stickied thread about scams.

I don't see anyone pretending this is the land of milk and honey.

Hi XYZ :)

I don't think we've spoken before. Apologies if we have but I've forgotten.

The sticky thread about scams that you mention does not warn again trolls and predators.
It is a thread about financial scams and people asking for money.
The thread can be seen here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/scams-megathread.25509/

It is certainly true to say that predators and disingenuous people lurk on this website.

The reason why I and other contributors to this thread feel that the impression is sometimes given otherwise is because in threads that discuss pro-life/fixthe26/attacks on this site/defending this site, very often only the official website position is put forward while the behaviour of the minority isn't considered because everybody is so engaged in defending this website.
The issue with this is that it may be the behaviour of the minority that causes the problems, from the perspective of those who attack this site as well as site moderators and other members.

As I said in post #1, I don't blame the site for the actions or behaviour of a minority of members.

 

[muffin222]

I agree with your comment about some people appearing to want to take on the role of "traffic cop of SS".

Why is it that some people feel the need to act as though they are bellwethers of this community?

Almost invariably, those who do so have sought to drive a thread in a certain dire

I think part of the issue is that highly vulnerable people are not in a mindset such that they are ready to spot or defend themselves against highly manipulative people or predatory behaviour.

I see you've completely ignored my previous post and my input on your thread for whatever reason, which I'll admit saddened me a little bit because I believe it was a very relevant and well thought out response, albeit a different perspective then the one you share. I was hoping you'd dialogue with me about it.

Here's what confuses me most about this thread.... Where exactly are these "predators" and "manipulators" you claim are squashing people's attempts at offering alternatives? I don't doubt such people are lurking somewhere on the site, but I've never seen one actively encouraging people in threads. In fact, in nearly every goodbye thread I've witnessed, at least one poster chimes in to remind the person that there's no shame in changing their minds and that the community will still be here to support the person.

Your stance would make sense if it was substantiated with evidence of such "predators". You've yet to actually provide any, and this whole thread just seems a little...baseless.

To me, it reads like you're angry that we don't jump in and attempt to save every person who's suicidal when the very nature of this site (pro-choice) asks us NOT to. If people want help, they're free to ask. No one is stopping them- in fact, there's even a recovery section on the site where people give wonderful advice and help to people wanting to keep living

Not to mention there are several pro-life suicide forums on the web where vulnerable people post their stories and their pain and posters are only allowed to offer support or solutions. If you're hell bent on only responding in that manner ( which is great in the right context, don't get me wrong- plenty of people do want to be saved), then why not channel your emotional resources into those sites? Why participate in a site that clearly postures itself as "pro choice" and then admonish users who follow that theme? Same thing with the guy who posted the "Am I Manipulator" thread the other day.

I don't get it

 

[XYZ]

The sticky thread about scams that you mention does not warn again trolls and predators

A stickied Scams Thread is literally meant to warn new members against predatory behaviour. A scammer is by definition a predator.

I think you got a bit confused there.

Don't worry, it happens to me too, more often than I care to admit.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I agree with your comment about some people appearing to want to take on the role of "traffic cop of SS".

Why is it that some people feel the need to act as though they are bellwethers of this community?

Almost invariably, those who do so have sought to drive a thread in a certain direction or silence an opposing perspective, just as you say.

I think part of the issue is that highly vulnerable people are not in a mindset such that they are ready to spot or defend themselves against highly manipulative people or predatory behaviour.
This is not a failing on their/our part, as it is a result of mental state. But predators seek to take advantage of the relative ease by which vulnerable people may be coerced.

When there's name calling, labeling, arbitrary groupings of "we" vs. "they," and no evidence of positive or negative assessments, a discussion is provocative and polarizing. It's especially so if someone does not agree with the label they feel has been put on them, or that they do not agree they are part of either the labeled "they" or the "we."

I've started to get confused about the point of this thread, so I went back to the OP and considered what the balanced view is that he presented.

The first point is that there are people like the OP who are and who act in a way he approves of: depressed, in need, and empathetic.

The second point is that there are people who encourage suicide, and the OP does not do that and does not approve of that.

It seems to me, then, that the OP's scales for appropriate behavior in the community in which he participates are off balance. I hope that's a fair assessment.

So, because the thread is devolving into accusations and complaints about what some dislike that others do, I ask, what are specific examples of both points -- but especially the second, as that seems to me to be the primary focus of the thread.