Unleashtherain
Student
- Nov 12, 2024
- 112
On top of my instability and nausea plaguing me this evening I just read about a 24 year old woman that shared one of my afflictions (treatment resistant schizoaffective) on Reddit. She was granted assisted suicide a year ago. I've dealt with mental issues since I was 19 and her story just tore me apart. What got me was her last wish was she just wanted her mom there with her and her wish was granted.
Such an eloquent writer that suffered so much in this world. I realize that life is not fair for anyone but when it comes to subjects that hit home like hers? I didn't realize I was able to still produce tears. My lips still taste of salt.
My mom has always been my best friend and each day I'm here or attempting to end my life knowing it would destroy her and I feel like total shit. Yet, I just keep declining and there's simply no way out. I lost a lot of friends 4 years ago when I sought treatment. I wasn't the same "me" everyone remembered and a large part of me died then. The fact people will abandon you based on something you can't control is such a vile thing. The comments to her post were flooded by random very sincere people but the OP mentioned nothing about friends just simply family. If an afterlife exists I hope she found it. I want nothing more to live but I'm also still coherent in the fact that the torture will forever continue. I've lived for my mom, these last 4 years, doctors are clueless, and yet she has so much optimism. I don't know where she gets it from but I wished it was passed down to me.
Such an eloquent writer that suffered so much in this world. I realize that life is not fair for anyone but when it comes to subjects that hit home like hers? I didn't realize I was able to still produce tears. My lips still taste of salt.
My mom has always been my best friend and each day I'm here or attempting to end my life knowing it would destroy her and I feel like total shit. Yet, I just keep declining and there's simply no way out. I lost a lot of friends 4 years ago when I sought treatment. I wasn't the same "me" everyone remembered and a large part of me died then. The fact people will abandon you based on something you can't control is such a vile thing. The comments to her post were flooded by random very sincere people but the OP mentioned nothing about friends just simply family. If an afterlife exists I hope she found it. I want nothing more to live but I'm also still coherent in the fact that the torture will forever continue. I've lived for my mom, these last 4 years, doctors are clueless, and yet she has so much optimism. I don't know where she gets it from but I wished it was passed down to me.
