if my life expectancy was in a polymarket bet the odds of my dying this year are around 80%, and not, this isn't me typing in a moment of distress or some crisis, this is just a random day like any other.
In the last 8 years, nothing extremely bad has happened, nothing good either, undiagnosed mental illnesses that almost make me not getting through college, I've been struggling with severe suicidal ideation for a long time, the difference now is the thoughts had become so vivid that I can almost feel the pain physically, the numbness the goes through my body and my wrists suddenly starts getting so cold as if he could sense it, lucid dreams that usually happened at night, now occur in the daylight every day almost at any moment
I don't even know how I managed to finish college , I got lucky it was a meme degree.
I already decided the method and I was able to find the source, I just need to figure out the logistics of having it in the house and the timing, I live with my mom and my aunt so I can't fuck around hiddin poison in my house, the moment that stuff arrives it's pretty much ggs,
Random factoid : my mom is really spiritual. The other day she was telling my aunt about a dream she had where I had to travel somewhere she couldn't quite place. Later she asked me if I had any travel plans now that I'd finished college. I told her most likely, but I don't know yet. (She's probably thinking it's about a job related thing ) feel sad for her
In the last 8 years, nothing extremely bad has happened, nothing good either, undiagnosed mental illnesses that almost make me not getting through college, I've been struggling with severe suicidal ideation for a long time, the difference now is the thoughts had become so vivid that I can almost feel the pain physically, the numbness the goes through my body and my wrists suddenly starts getting so cold as if he could sense it, lucid dreams that usually happened at night, now occur in the daylight every day almost at any moment
I don't even know how I managed to finish college , I got lucky it was a meme degree.
I already decided the method and I was able to find the source, I just need to figure out the logistics of having it in the house and the timing, I live with my mom and my aunt so I can't fuck around hiddin poison in my house, the moment that stuff arrives it's pretty much ggs,
Random factoid : my mom is really spiritual. The other day she was telling my aunt about a dream she had where I had to travel somewhere she couldn't quite place. Later she asked me if I had any travel plans now that I'd finished college. I told her most likely, but I don't know yet. (She's probably thinking it's about a job related thing ) feel sad for her
Last edited:
