Venting ://

[montimoo]

I feel like the only way for me to be happy anymore is to be drunk or high off my ass. I don't enjoy anything unless I'm under the influence and even when I am, it's only a temporary surface level of happy. I used to be dependent on alcohol and had been sober for so long until my family bought alcohol into the house again and encouraged a drink or two. Now I feel I can't stop. I'm out of weed and pain medication and atp I'm too tired to do anything. I've done everything right; I have a job, I go to school, I guess I'm kind of pretty, and yet nothing seems to be enough. I've just accepted that I'll never be happy no matter what I do. I already have my method picked out and it's pretty peaceful, and I doubt I'll fail. I'm just so scared of what's on the other side, and losing any comforts I may find here