Method 1 AM - Today is my Last Day on Earth

[Myforevercharlie]

I have no idea who you are, but my heart seriously goes out to you... Ill burn a little candle, i hope it's light will guide you to love and warmth....

 

[Largeletters]

I'm sorry life has treated you this way, sending you love whatever happens we are here with you.

Thank you

I have no idea who you are, but my heart seriously goes out to you... Ill burn a little candle, i hope it's light will guide you to love and warmth....

That is too nice, thank you so much

 

[Pupu]

I don't know you either but I definitely remember seeing your avatar while browsing here. Whatever you end up doing, I hope the best for you.

 

[Largeletters]

Please don't feel like you have to avoid this site if you don't go through with it. Everyone is living at their own pace, and you can change your mind as much as you want. It's completely fine if you do, I will respect you.

Thank you

b.t.w. I have some general notes on delayed emails here :
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sending-delayed-scheduled-messages-goodbye-notes-etc.32532/

Also, on social media, just in case you change your mind at the last minute, don't post anything too "irreversible", unless you have some method of doing a delayed posting that can be cancelled.

If you change your mind, there will be no shame, and you'll be fully welcome here !

Thank you. I'm posting it on a site where I can delete the post if I change my mind. Thank you for your notes, I'm definitely going to read up on those.
Thank you for your kindness.

I don't know you either but I definitely remember seeing your avatar while browsing here. Whatever you end up doing, I hope the best for you.

Thank you, same for you.

i wish u peace:(♡

Thank you

I hope you have an anxiety free decision regardless of the choice you make
Peace/hugs❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Thank you. Same to you.

Good luck with whatever choice you make

Thank you

I wish you the best and I hope you find your peace. -hugs-

Also, are you willing to share the quote you would like to write on your social media? I would love to hear it ❤

Thank you. Same to you.

Yes. The quote is, "Never to be poisoned by civilization again, he flees..." by Alex Supertramp/Chris McCandless, one of my idols. There is more to the quote but I thought it was very well fitting to my situation, and my feelings towards society.

I'm sorry it has come to this, my honey..But if u change ur mind, we will b right here waiting to love on u and embrace u...Sending love

Thank you so much.

I wish you all the very best my friend, for your journey ahead.
Surrounding you with love and peace.
And a huge hug ❤❤

Thank you so much... you too

 

[Largeletters]

Update... still here... I couldn't go through with it. Maybe I need a better method, or maybe I need to do it when I can't be talked out of it.

I hate myself for the fact I haven't been able to die.

 

[palatinus]

Update... still here... I couldn't go through with it. Maybe I need a better method, or maybe I need to do it when I can't be talked out of it.

I hate myself for the fact I haven't been able to die.

Please don't hate yourself

 

[Largeletters]

Please don't hate yourself

I just feel so utterly embarrassed I can't go through with it.

 

[Arisa]

Hope you find your peace <3 regardless of your decision.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I just feel so utterly embarrassed I can't go through with it.

There is no way I could jump. The folks in the World Trade Center who jumped rather than face the fire? I still couldn't have jumped. To me, you showed major cojones to have even considered it, and I myself have huge cojones in a lot of ways, but not when it comes to that. I'm not embarassed about it, it's utterly beyond my control. I hope you'll get past the embarrassment and self-hatred, I promise you deserve neither. I don't say shit just to make people feel better, I'm sincere.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm not sure I would have been able to go through with it either. I'm terrified of heights and jumping sounds like some scary shit, to be honest. Maybe a more peaceful method would be more suitable for you?

It could also be that you aren't ready yet. When the time comes for you to feel like you are ready, it will probably be easier, no matter which way you decide to do it.

 

[Jumper Geo]

I just feel so utterly embarrassed I can't go through with it.

Don't feel embarrassed if I weren't bloody scared of heights I would have jumped of Beachy Head long ago, I wish there was a pill to block out the SI. i hope you find the peace your looking for.

Cheers Geo

 

[TAW122]

Update... still here... I couldn't go through with it. Maybe I need a better method, or maybe I need to do it when I can't be talked out of it.

I hate myself for the fact I haven't been able to die.

It's fine, the SI is such a monstrous beast to overcome, even for people with reliable and guaranteed methods, the body's instinct is to resist in all ways, physically and psychologically to prevent harm, death. It's built in to our bodies and evolved. Anyways, I hope you will be able to find what you are looking for and peace.

 

[A_Poetic_Death]

I wish you love, and peace or good intentions no matter what the journey is. If you CTB or not, you're always welcome back here, no shame in it. I didn't CTB when I said I would, in fact you could say some people here gave me a gentle talk to work through the CTB or not to CTB. I still return.

<3 Peace be with you.

 

[Pupu]

The beaty in this site is that you won't get looked down if you couldn't go through it. There is no need to be embarassed since we are all familiar with the presence of SI. Some mentioned maybe it wasn't your time yet, that can be possible too but sometimes we are just so deeply in these thoughs that we can't know beforehand is it the time yet really before we try to face it and see can we do it or not. If you think some people can bully or tease for not going through it I seriously doubt have they ever been in a situation like that. It's just their own dumb act and you should not be bothered from it.

 

[Dante71]

I just feel so utterly embarrassed I can't go through with it.

Its ok, i have backed out, or the attempt didnt work a few times lately, i guess not completely ready

 

[Largeletters]

There is no way I could jump. The folks in the World Trade Center who jumped rather than face the fire? I still couldn't have jumped. To me, you showed major cojones to have even considered it, and I myself have huge cojones in a lot of ways, but not when it comes to that. I'm not embarassed about it, it's utterly beyond my control. I hope you'll get past the embarrassment and self-hatred, I promise you deserve neither. I don't say shit just to make people feel better, I'm sincere.

I greatly appreciate this, thank you.

I'm not sure I would have been able to go through with it either. I'm terrified of heights and jumping sounds like some scary shit, to be honest. Maybe a more peaceful method would be more suitable for you?

It could also be that you aren't ready yet. When the time comes for you to feel like you are ready, it will probably be easier, no matter which way you decide to do it.

Jumping does not really scare me. The walk to the surface does. I do not live near any major heights and since I don't drive (yes, I am a failure of an adult, as I have been told by some) I would have to trek the almost hour walk to the building. My social anxiety was terrible, I didn't want to cross the street in front of the cars, feeling like they knew what I was going to do.

Thank you.

Don't feel embarrassed if I weren't bloody scared of heights I would have jumped of Beachy Head long ago, I wish there was a pill to block out the SI. i hope you find the peace your looking for.

Cheers Geo

Thank you for your kindness.

It's fine, the SI is such a monstrous beast to overcome, even for people with reliable and guaranteed methods, the body's instinct is to resist in all ways, physically and psychologically to prevent harm, death. It's built in to our bodies and evolved. Anyways, I hope you will be able to find what you are looking for and peace.

Thank you.

I wish you love, and peace or good intentions no matter what the journey is. If you CTB or not, you're always welcome back here, no shame in it. I didn't CTB when I said I would, in fact you could say some people here gave me a gentle talk to work through the CTB or not to CTB. I still return.

<3 Peace be with you.

Thank you for your kindness.

The beaty in this site is that you won't get looked down if you couldn't go through it. There is no need to be embarassed since we are all familiar with the presence of SI. Some mentioned maybe it wasn't your time yet, that can be possible too but sometimes we are just so deeply in these thoughs that we can't know beforehand is it the time yet really before we try to face it and see can we do it or not. If you think some people can bully or tease for not going through it I seriously doubt have they ever been in a situation like that. It's just their own dumb act and you should not be bothered from it.

Thank you very much, for your reassurance.

Its ok, i have backed out, or the attempt didnt work a few times lately, i guess not completely ready

Thank you for your reassurance, and it helps to know someone is going through the same thing.

 

[Misanthropic Soul]

Man, I'm in a suicide watch now (INVOLUNTARELY) bc some SOB doc figured out that I [Redacted]. I'd love to tell you something I figured out while being here, but I'm afraid it'll hit you like a truck (no pun intended).
Once I'm outta this place, I'll be back at square one.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Thank you I don't have much to talk about, only that I'm scared that I won't go through with it, and I'll have to avoid this site like a coward even if I post my goodbye thread. Although, I'll probably post my goodbye thread from mobile when I'm moments away so I'm absolutely sure. I'm also scared about leaving the ones I love, I'm scared about leaving my girlfriend who says I'm the best thing in her life. I'm going to make sure my friends, who have met her a few times, take care of her and make sure she isn't lonely. That's my dying wish from them- that, and to make sure none of them CTB either.

Thank you

Hey if you change your mind, it's ok, don't avoid us. We will be here for you if you change your mind. You're not a coward, even if you change your mind.

 

[departing]

I just feel so utterly embarrassed I can't go through with it.

No need to be embarrassed. I've backed out of attempts before. The survival instinct can be a powerful steering current.

 

[FailingAtLife]

Today, March 7th, is my last day on earth.
...
I'm not happy unless I am on Adderall.

There's no shame in needing to rely on medication to get you through if it works for you. I've been doing the same w/ antidepressants for years, and they don't even work anymore!

 

[Painless_end]

Even I want to jump, because I have no access to any other method. But I haven't been able to. I am scared of only hurting myself badly and surviving the fall.

Even if I die, I am scared of the tremendous pain I will go through in my final moments on the ground.

 

[FailingAtLife]

Even I want to jump, because I have no access to any other method. But I haven't been able to. I am scared of only hurting myself badly and surviving the fall.

Even if I die, I am scared of the tremendous pain I will go through in my final moments on the ground.

You won't go through pain as you're actually *falling*; but you WILL, I'm sure feel immense fear & possibly regret in the (few) moments before you hit the ground - assuming you manage to make yourself jump in the first place, which I don't know you'll be able to do, given the fears you say you have.

And yes, if you jumped, but didn't do so from a great enough height and survive, you'll almost certainly sustain very serious or even life-changing injuries that may leave you far worse off than you are now.

You need to really think about ctb in this way... I know you said you have no other method to use, but I really think you should look for another method that might be more suitable for *you*.

... Or just hang around a bit longer and then revisit your situation compared to whatever's making you want to ctb...

 

[Painless_end]

You need to really think about ctb in this way... I know you said you have no other method to use, but I really think you should look for another method that might be more suitable for *you*.

Yes I wish I could find something suitable to exit, that's all I can say.

 

[LastRide]

Don't feel embarrassed...we've all been there once, or twice, or even more...we know what it feels like, and also, who knows, maybe one day you'll look back at that episode in your life and say "damn, how lucky I was to not have gone on top of that building !". And if not, then maybe you'll find a method which suits you better, or maybe you just need a little more time....