Method I'm not sure if I can push through today

[Moroze]

It all just seems to heavy. Empathy hurts. My friend is very ill. I'm stressed and depressed. The days are too long. I have SN which is at least 99% pure. I also have Meto and Propranolol. I'm so stressed even Xanax doesn't help me. I can't sleep the hours away. All I can do is lie down and let my thoughts destroy me. It all hurts so much today. If I do decide to go today, I will make a goodbye thread. I'm so tired guys.

 

[secretghost]

it sounds like a really dark time for you, friend. We are all wishing you well

 

[avalokitesvara]

I'm sorry today is so awful, and that you can't even sleep to escape. Maybe spending some time with another person might help you pull yourself out of your thoughts.

 

[Alexandra_]

I'm so sorry, no one should have to suffer like this. I'm also deathly tired of this world, my life lasts too long, time drags on painfully slowly every day. Good luck to you, whatever path you choose

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering, I also find it so painful to exist, it's so dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I wish you the best.

 

[BimbleBob]

It all just seems to heavy. Empathy hurts. My friend is very ill. I'm stressed and depressed. The days are too long. I have SN which is at least 99% pure. I also have Meto and Propranolol. I'm so stressed even Xanax doesn't help me. I can't sleep the hours away. All I can do is lie down and let my thoughts destroy me. It all hurts so much today. If I do decide to go today, I will make a goodbye thread. I'm so tired guys.

Please don't tell me you really did it Rhy, please. I know I'm being very selfish for saying this, but I don't want you to die. I know just ranting your problems out to me isn't enough as those problems will still remain at the end of the day. Look, I'm in just as helpless a situation as you are, and I am also desperate to leave and live life even a little bit. I can barely help myself, my mind is such a broken mess but meeting you makes me desperately want to try to be better.

I don't know how much I can do for you, but maybe we can work something out together, maybe we can spend some real time dedicated to understanding both our predicaments and find a viable way forward together, to carve out our own little place in this world. I will try my best to bring you comfort and sanctuary and a soul you do not have to hide anything from and never have to fear you'll upset or piss me off or chase me away.

We both know the alternative is suicide and I don't believe that deep, deep down you truly want that Rhy, neither do I. I fucking hate the life I am living so much, and it feels so inescapable to me that CTB feels like the only viable option, but maybe together it doesn't have to be. Although it is not possible for me to completely understand your individual experience of living and suffering, I can understand how bleak and hopeless it can all get. I've spent nights begging a God I don't even believe in to give me the strength to just swallow the SN. Almost my entire body is covered in self-harm scars, yet I could never get the strength to jam a knife into my wrists or neck.

I'm a complete wreck, and I am so sorry that as I currently am, I cannot be the able person I know you need in your life, but I promise you that I'll do the best that I can. Maybe together, a path opens up that wasn't there when we are alone. I don't know what that path is, but I am willing to take that plunge with you if you are with me. Whatever happens, you'll have me if nothing else in this world, so please, don't do it, I am begging you.