N
nuclearsnake
Student
- Jul 11, 2018
- 145
I was never bullied but I grew up with deaf parents and narcissistic grandparents who used my parent's disability to control them. My dad's a huge asshole regardless though and all throughout my childhood I struggled with social norms, emotional problems, heightened sensitivity to my surroundings and making friends. I'm trans and ugly too and due to my severe anxiety I cannot work or do anything important. I used to dream about working in film or writing because I loved taking pictures and creating stories but my own fears have kept me from trying to pursue such a career and now I've given up on that.
I'm not a functional human being and that is why I want and need to die. If it was just my childhood it might not be a problem but it's so many things, most of which are never fixable and I just have to live with and I don't see the point in that.
I'm glad I at least didn't get tortured to fucking death by my parents or grew up in a shithole of a country starving to death and I keep telling myself that me living in modern times and a wealthy country should be enough to go on but it isn't. Not when every day is hell and I'm stumbling through life with the grace of a baby deer.
Life is so unfair and I hate all of it.
I'm not a functional human being and that is why I want and need to die. If it was just my childhood it might not be a problem but it's so many things, most of which are never fixable and I just have to live with and I don't see the point in that.
I'm glad I at least didn't get tortured to fucking death by my parents or grew up in a shithole of a country starving to death and I keep telling myself that me living in modern times and a wealthy country should be enough to go on but it isn't. Not when every day is hell and I'm stumbling through life with the grace of a baby deer.
Life is so unfair and I hate all of it.