Discussion Is mental health an "inconvenience" in your culture too?

[TokaNoOwari]

Hi everyone, this is my first own post on here. I am very grateful for being given this chance to vent somewhere people might understand.

I've lived in Japan my whole life, and the silence here regarding mental health is just disheartening. We have some of the highest suicide rates in the world, yet it's treated like this big secret we all have to ignore to. A japanese saying describes it best: kuuki wo yomu (空気を読む), which basically means "reading the air" or following the unspoken social vibe. If you break that silence, you're seen as the problem.

What really hurts is how society reacts when it actually happens. Instead of sadness, there is often this feeling of trouble or inconvenience caused to others. If a train is delayed because of a suicide, the only feeling people get is anger about being late for work.

It makes you feel like your life is only worth the time you don't waste for others. There is also still this weird, lingering idea that it's honorable to leave to ease the burden on society, which is just so toxic.

Between that and the work culture of gaman (我慢) which is the idea of enduring the unbearable with stoic patience, I feel so isolated. If you can't "gaman" through the stress, you're seen as weak or unwelcome. It makes me so angry that nobody takes us seriously, and sometimes it feels like people actually hate us just for struggling. Got to be the perfect, productive machine or you don't matter at all.

I'm really curious, how is it in other countries? Is mental health still a total taboo there, or do people actually care without making you feel like a nuisance?

Does your culture have a specific word or concept like "gaman" that makes it harder for people to speak up about their struggles?

 

[SMxj9]

Here in Brazil, suicide rates are increasing, but despite this, people are becoming more understanding about mental health issues.

 

[K14~♡]

I live in the philippines, I think people here don't really care about mental health much. For me, it feels like people who have mental struggles are treated as lazy, not trying hard enough, and incapable/unskilled

I think we have something a little similar to "gaman," but it's more family focused. We have a value called "utang na loob" or debt of gratitude, which is to be grateful for what you have received, and to give back/repay the grace you've been given. This applies the most to your family who has raised you and have taken care of you all this time. Many would be pressured to follow what their family wants/needs even if it's against their wishes for this debt of gratitude. There's also the breadwinner culture which is having the most successful or capable member of the family to provide for everyone, and filipino families are large. For financially-struggling families, the breadwinner or provider has to give up everything oftentimes.
Basically, family is more important than yourself. If you don't put them first, if you don't repay them, you're selfish and ungrateful. It doesn't matter if you're struggling too, because it's your role to live for them...

Ofc this isn't true all the time, and maybe I'm having too much of a doomerist view on this, but it's just how it feels for me

Also regarding suicide, people do talk about it as a tragic thing, but with a controversial undertone? Like "Oh hey did you know that [X]/ did you hear about [X] committing suicide?" It's like a topic for gossip

There was a case a few months back wherein this student jumped from a train station bridge and fell on a car. Some people's reaction online was "You're dying, but also inconveniencing others?" But there was also some who seemed emphatic and didn't blame the student at least...I think people were pissed or mad at the student because the police handled the case quite stupidly. "We're trying to find out if the victim died from the fall or from the vehicle," and if the car hitting him is what killed him, then the driver would be arrested which is unfair...Not sure what the ending was for this case, never looked it up again

 

[TokaNoOwari]

Basically, family is more important than yourself. If you don't put them first, if you don't repay them, you're selfish and ungrateful. It doesn't matter if you're struggling too, because it's your role to live for them...

That reminds me of rural country sides here. Rural communities are very family focused as well, while in urban areas it is usually centered around giving back to society as a whole.

While i think supporting your family and society is good and important, it should never become an expectation for you to sacrifice yourself for the "greater good".

Ofc this isn't true all the time, and maybe I'm having too much of a doomerist view on this, but it's just how it feels for me

I think your voice is especially important to hear since you are impacted by this culture the harshest. This culture makes your life awful, while you have a way smaller impact on others life in return. Support goes both ways and as long as you try your best to a healthy degree, i don't see how anybody should expect more of you. Ever.

But in the end, asians being asians. We are never allowed to focus on ourself first in seemingly all asian countries.