Your methods to manage with SI

[unnamed2]

What were your methods that helped you to manage with SI or to prepare to ctb.
I know everybody is different but maybe some of us could inspire others - it doesnt sound good, i'm aware of this.
It could take years to prepared but i want to be prepared.

Dont know, maybe some book?
I have s. thought from the age of 12, now i'm 35 and i know that there is no magic pill that will help me with my life, i only exist but i know that my life will be miserable. I can only reduce in some ways pain in my mind, but i never will be happy.

People here wrote that when you are ready you are ready, but SI is powerful.
I've fantasized that grabbing my hand by other person and tell me thay everything will be ok would be very pleasant and calmed me down with ctb (like in euthanasia video on yt) but thats unreal. Loneliness in ctb is difficult.

 

[notevenhere]

I thought that my sheer determination to end my life is enough but now that there's less than 24 hours in my attempt, I'm slowly but surely getting anxious. it doesn't help that i generally have an anxiety disorder and relied on benzos for half my life as a crutch but now that I'm not allowed to drink it since my last attempt, I'm sorta fucked.
I'm thinking of listing down the reasons

I want to leave this world had read it before i proceed to just remind myself why I'm doing this in the first place.

 

[Forveleth]

I really need to type this out somewhere and just have a draft saved for these threads. Anyway, some tips:

• Know death. Humans fear what they don't know so educate yourself. Study the biology of death, philosophy around death. Read blogs from hospice care workers and the terminally ill. Being familiar with something makes it way less intimidating.
• Know your method. Know how it works and why it kills. Know the exact steps to take and why you're doing them. Walk through them in your head or practice if you can do so safely. The idea is to make this a routine to make it lose it's stigma.
  • A helpful tip is to make a checklist. I have one taped to the bottom of my desk that are all of the steps I need to take immediately before my attempt. That way I'm not worrying about remembering to do something.
• Don't set a date. Setting a date makes it an event and puts pressure on you which causes you to be anxious before you even start. I know sometimes people have a limited window but this leads to failure A LOT.
• Get your affairs in order. Ironically, you need closure too. Take the time to write notes that you want or schedule emails/texts. Even just having a draft ready for when the time comes is helpful. Finish the project you're doing. Get caught up on the show you're watching. Finish the book you're reading. You want to have a mindset that staying alive will gain you nothing. You can't have that with unfinished business. If this means you have to push your attempt date then you weren't ready.

You can never completely override SI because it's instinct, but you can make your conscious mind comfortable enough with death that you have a chance of fighting your own instincts.

 

[unnamed2]

@Forveleth, beautiful advices. Many thanks.