Your first thought when you wake up

[MourningHeart]

Mornings are worst, i hate being still alive - to wake up to the real nightmare, having an oppressive feeling like...

Spoiler

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Fuck ! I'm still alive. Every night before I fall asleep I pray, yes I pray, I even beg that I may just die peacefully while I sleep. Just leave quietly, no hard feelings, all's forgiven. It's been years. But no, no way ! So every morning my first thought is Fuck ! Still alive.

Sometimes I feel the same way about that sure it feels great to go to sleep but sometimes I don't always want to wake up every morning knowing that I'm still alive and my virtues and sins is all that I have other than my vaping addiction/inhibition and there isn't really much for me to do in this world.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Another day of torture, another day with a mask that hides how I truly feel. And also fuck, why can't I just ctb in my sleep.

 

[TrailerTrash]

Crap ..... I'm still alive????

 

[Pumpkin]

I'd rather stay in the dream, even if it was the worst nightmare, than have to go on living in my life.

 

[passenger27]

Where did I go wrong?

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

''Ah sh*t here we go again''

 

[RealLostSoul]

Just another day...

 

[Edward1]

Oh no, not again.

 

[Roberto]

Fuck ! I'm still alive. Every night before I fall asleep I pray, yes I pray, I even beg that I may just die peacefully while I sleep. Just leave quietly, no hard feelings, all's forgiven. It's been years. But no, no way ! So every morning my first thought is Fuck ! Still alive.

That thing reminds me one day I tried to ctb with pills&alcohol. It is a sad moment when there is a next day.
These days, I think ¿Why to buy food? I don't want to eat. I don't want to do nothing. I just want to be in bed. I just want to sleep. I wish I had diazepam to make days pass without notice them.
It would be nice to die while sleeping. Without stress. pacefully. But I don't expect it, so I pray for a cancer. a cancer without cure, fast, and as low pain as possible.
My first thought is that I want to sleep again.

 

[SawItOnce]

It can't work

 

[noctiva]

Hmm, my first thought is actually always happy, then reality comes with a roundhouse kick and the death wish comes out full force.

 

[pole]

"ugh, im alive".

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

usually my ex SO or a loved one from my past as thats usually what i dream about, and then the cycle of grief begins again

 

[seekingoblivion]

"Ah Fuck!! Let me fucking die!!"

 

[notjustyetagain]

wow, that was a horrible nightm— oh.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

"What time is it? I hope it's not earlier than 5."
There's trying to do a proper 7 hour sleep, and there's my body fucking around it.

 

[Flora1]

How hungover do I feel today? What stupid shit did I do last night?

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I don't want to wake up

 

[a_strange_day]

All in the same boat. I'm not religious but

 

[Hadenuf]

I didn't want to

 

[Pepper]

"Fuck, I don't want to do this." Basically same shit, different day.

 

[uselessloser]

Oh no im alive

 

[Anomaly]

"Screw this. I'm going back to sleep."

 

[Nem]

I think of people I never killed and feel bad that I didn't
Peace/hugs

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

Body checks (so fat) + before I move, what hurts today?

 

[Final Escape]

Today will suck because it's blizzarding out and not wanting to go out in it.

 

[Ness]

I usually wake up from nightmares (or dreams most people would consider nightmares), so more often than not my first thoughts are about how, if I woke up, it must've been a dream. Sometimes I get to die in my dreams and I wake up from nothingness and I'm always disappointed. Sometimes I get fatally wounded and should be dead yet survived it (as in walking around still fatally wounded like nothing happened) and that's the ones I consider the worst nightmares.

The few times I haven't dreamt anything, I'm usually thinking "what time is it" because I always wake up several times a night and I'm always hoping I got enough sleep so I can just get up and not sleep again.