You'll have to act on impulse

[therhydler]

My first attempt was really impulsive. Now that I am planning and planning it seems like I will never actually get to doing it. But that impulse that pushes you to it is a really dark place...

 

[-L-]

I totally agree on that. If you really want to succeed, you must research and plan carefully.
You can pour all kinds of crap down your throat and you will likely NOT die, and maybe end fuck up afterward.
Only N and SN are reliable.
The impulse part is only necessary to overcome your survival instincts (SI).

Very true.
Admittedly I don't think obtaining N is even a remote possibility for me, due to my countries customs being very strict..
And SN scares the shit out of me for some strange reason that I can't quite put my finger on.. And after hearing some potentially fake stories of SN from unreliable sources I've seen circulating around on here, it really makes me second guess the ethicacy of some people and the overall peacefulness of it..
So far the other N (nitrogen) is looking like my best course of action moving forward.

I have been trying to familiarize myself with the exit bag, and other aspects of the method..
I have been rehearsing pulling the bag down and hyperventilating as discussed in the mega thread.
The only thing that worries me is that I don't know what it will be like with gas, as I don't have my nitrogen tank yet..
From what I've read, the gas has quite a loud hiss even when regulated, so it does give me some pause for concern that my SI will kick in at the last second.. So I'm currently thinking of buying a small tank of oxygen along with my nitrogen, so I can test and familiarize myself with the sound of the gas flowing with no potential risk.

I suppose my end game goal is just to be able to run on autopilot through these final tasks... I don't want my feelings or any overwhelming emotions getting in the way.. I hope to have any mental baggage figured out long before my CTB day..
When that day comes, I hope I can be in a zen like state with a clear mind, knowing without a doubt that my choices are the correct ones for me.

 

[AveryConure]

If I somehow manage to lose my job I pretty much would do it right away and not give a shit. Though the last time I tried to ctb impulsively was with lithium at 16 and it's honestly the worst way to go.

 

[Letmego. Please]

This is what separates those who succeed, from those who will be browsing this site for the rest of their lives. Or you could get lucky and find salvation. But it may not last for long.

Sorry and shoot me down if you wish, but that is so fucking dumb.

I may not have had enough coffee yet but impulse = pointless failure or dumb luck & the idea that impulse is what sets successful suicide apart from the folks still here is a very immature view that would leave me to think you were (possibly) too immature to make such a decision.

Sorry but stupidly make me a tad blunt in response.

Good moaning world...

 

[throwaway123]

Very true.
Admittedly I don't think obtaining N is even a remote possibility for me, due to my countries customs being very strict..
And SN scares the shit out of me for some strange reason that I can't quite put my finger on.. And after hearing some potentially fake stories of SN from unreliable sources I've seen circulating around on here, it really makes me second guess the ethicacy of some people and the overall peacefulness of it..
I suppose my end game goal is just to be able to run on autopilot through these final tasks... I don't want my feelings or any overwhelming emotions getting in the way.. I hope to have any mental baggage figured out long before my CTB day..
When that day comes, I hope I can be in a zen like state with a clear mind, knowing without a doubt that my choices are the correct ones for me.

This.

 

[stellabelle]

My attempt was impulsive, and I will likely ctt impulsively in the future if I do attempt again. I can't imagine or handle planning it out and setting dates. I can see myself just abruptly ending it all though.

 

[cu1len]

I agree. Last month/beginning of this month I had my second attempt at ctb (my first attempt I cut really deep into the arteries but talked myself out of bleeding out) and the second time I put a belt around my neck and pulled. Both times I talked myself out of it.

 

[lost_soul83]

I disagree partly...
I imagine the main reason why 24 out of every 25 attempts is a failure is because of impulse attempts.
If you want to succeed at ctb imo you have to...
Be sane and rational about it.
Plan and prepare for as long as you need to.
Then
Once everything is in order wait till your ready (physically, mentally, emotionally etc.)

I was going to ctb last night, impulsively, because my boyfriend and I were fighting and I thought we were gonna break up, but we didn't and I think things are gonna be okay. So I'm glad I didn't act on impulse. I'd rather take as much time as I need to get my affairs in order and plan, plan, plan, to make sure my attempt is successful.

 

[crova]

I want the same plan with the n. I think for a lot survival instinct kicks in. I have the nitrogen tank but fear ripping the bag off.

Jenna
Nitrogen is my method too. I will zip tie my hands to my leather belt.

 

[deflagrat]

Acting on impulse is why suicide fails. You have to research it first, make sure you have a plan and execute just the way you planned. I don't have Survival Instinct left most likely due to my disorganized schizophrenia so it's quite easy for me as long as the method is easy enough to execute. It's just not the right time yet. But when my time comes I will be ready, both physically and psychologically.

 

[crova]

Acting on impulse is why suicide fails. You have to research it first, make sure you have a plan and execute just the way you planned. I don't have Survival Instinct left most likely due to my disorganized schizophrenia so it's quite easy for me as long as the method is easy enough to execute. It's just not the right time yet. But when my time comes I will be ready, both physically and psychologically.

Agree. Good planning is the key.Then its time for 'impulse'.

 

[color_me_gone]

Very true.

Ya, it is sad that N is so hard to get - if you can - a great way to go.
I really don't know about the other poison methods, as that's not my choice.
My choice is Inert Gas. The idea of no poison is appealing to me.
I fear poisons because the body's defense system is pretty strong, even with antiemetics.
Poison can be very painful if it takes a long time, or if unsuccessful. Too much risk.
Going out with gas, you feel euphoria before you pass out, so that is good.
Tingly feeling in limbs, like when you leg falls asleep, not a big deal.
As you said, biggest drawback is SI, which presents quite a problem with this method.
We need to psych ourselves up to defeat that, but hard to do in unnatural situations: bag over head, hissing gas.

 

[color_me_gone]

Agree. Good planning is the key.Then its time for 'impulse'.

That is exactly it - plan well for success, get everything you need
But at the final moment, it take impulse.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Those succeed tend to have acted impulsively. This does not mean that acting impulsively is likely to lead to success. Those who research and plan tend to be too afraid to try. This does not mean that those who succeed failed to research and plan.

 

[bigj75]

That's why majority of suicides have alcohol in their system. Alchol tends to make you act on impulse more than when you are sober. So yes impulsive mindset increases your % of attempting a serious suicide attempt.

 

[Samuel]

This is a tough question and very hard to answer. I think when the day comes you'll just know it.

This gives the slogan "Just do it" a whole new meaning.
Maybe that's the secret. Maybe you shouldn't think about what you're doing. Just go trough the motions and do it.

Precisely.

 

[lost_soul83]

I can't really get a hold of N since I'm 16 and live with parents. What advice have you got on hanging?

I'm so sorry you're so young and you feel like ctb is the only way out. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but if I were you I'd wait a little while and see if things improve in your life. If they don't, you can ctb whenever you want to. That's what all of us on here want essentially right? The right to choose when and how we die? Maybe wait until you're 18, then at least you'd have more options available to you. Take care honey!

 

[21Neberg]

I know I'm going to act on impulse, but I am making sure that I have a plan set-up so that my attempt is as likely to succeed as possible!

 

[color_me_gone]

Those who research and plan tend to be too afraid to try.

I tend to agree with this, as well.

Alchol tends to make you act on impulse

It also releases your inhibitions.
Shy guys find it much easier to talk to girls when they have a little alcohol in them.
Same holds true for pulling the plug.
But not too much alcohol, just enough to feel good.

 

[color_me_gone]

wait a little while and see if things improve in your life

JayZT if this is about a romantic breakup, I know that is devastating, especially your first love, it is always the worst.
But most of us go through that. You harden your heart a little bit and move on.

If it is about doing poorly in school, and having parents with high expectations, FUCK them, it is still your life.

If it is about abusive parents, then ya, that sucks big time. There are agencies that will advocate for you.

Just sayin'.
It is your life, and we all here advocate for your choice, no matter what that is.
Being 16 is the hardest time in anyone's life.

 

[Jake88]

Yeah I believe it has to be impulsive. Someone who puts in the steps to planning it out is already showing the signs of caring that aren't really conducive to being suicidal. Obviously many people who commit suicide care a great deal about a lot... Least of which is usually dying though.

I have harmed myself plenty on impulse. Never committed an act of suicide though. I've stabbed myself with scissors, put cigarettes out on myself. Slashed my arms. Smashed plenty over my head. Banged my head off of walls. Punch myself in the face lol. I shouldn't laugh but that's fucking crazy. The pain takes the edge off. Nothing like a fractured eye socket to take your mind off of a broken heart! Take that to the bank.

I'd only ever do it with a gun and it'd be impulsive. I'd be full of rage when and if I ever did it.

P.S. If you ever stab yourself in the hand? Try not to stab your masturbation hand... Because then you'll really want to kill yourself!

 

[color_me_gone]

Good post Jake88, and so true.
A little humor is nice for such a morbid subject.
And great advise about the hand!

 

[bigj75]

I tend to agree with this, as well.

It also releases your inhibitions.
Shy guys find it much easier to talk to girls when they have a little alcohol in them.
Same holds true for pulling the plug.
But not too much alcohol, just enough to feel good.

Legit. That's the thing about alchol
You need to take just enough to function. A couple shots and that's it.

 

[Jake88]

Good post Jake88, and so true.
A little humor is nice for such a morbid subject.
And great advise about the hand!

Thanks. Thought it might be risky. I read a bit first though, I see there's a good sarcastic crowd here. Not sure they'll be fans of mine for very long, BUT if they laugh out loud even once before they go? Worth my time. Laughing is the only thing that keeps me around.

Some people shudder at my morbid sense of humor but I suspect that most people around here can see the dark side of comedy and hopefully they can see that I take the topic of suicide very seriously at the same time.

 

[Ln42]

The last attempt I had I ended up in a coma and 2 months in the psych ward, due to being sloppy and impulsive..
I'm just glad I didn't sustain any permanent damage to my body or brain, because then I would be really screwed and probably not able to write this lol...

Hi, I was wondering what method you used on your last attempt?
I'm really scared of failure and becoming brain damaged.

 

[color_me_gone]

Thanks. Thought it might be risky.

I'll tell you what, you will not find a more decent set of folks anywhere, than are on SS.
Almost makes you NOT want to ctb.
I think you will thoroughly enjoy it here.

 

[Jake88]

I'll tell you what, you will not find a more decent set of folks anywhere, than are on SS.
Almost makes you NOT want to ctb.
I think you will thoroughly enjoy it here.

I already am. It's cathartic. Talk to people you know about this, and they don't look at you the same. I know this is a noob question, but what does CTB stand for? I've deciphered B as Bus thus far. At least I think. Catch The Bus!!?? That's gotta be it.

 

[JayZT]

I'm so sorry you're so young and you feel like ctb is the only way out. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but if I were you I'd wait a little while and see if things improve in your life. If they don't, you can ctb whenever you want to. That's what all of us on here want essentially right? The right to choose when and how we die? Maybe wait until you're 18, then at least you'd have more options available to you. Take care honey!

I do think about waiting a lot. I came really close to suicide in August, I was literally walking to do it and my mind talked me out of it. The thoughts passed for a few months and I'm still here but now they're back and who knows how I'll end up this time.

JayZT if this is about a romantic breakup, I know that is devastating, especially your first love, it is always the worst.

But most of us go through that. You harden your heart a little bit and move on.


If it is about doing poorly in school, and having parents with high expectations, FUCK them, it is still your life.


If it is about abusive parents, then ya, that sucks big time. There are agencies that will advocate for you.


Just sayin'.

It is your life, and we all here advocate for your choice, no matter what that is.

Being 16 is the hardest time in anyone's life.

How do you move on when it's everything I have left and the fact that I know it'll be gone soon kills me a little bit more every time I think about it.

It's not so much at my parents anger, its just at their disappointment. If even my parents are disappointed at me then who isn't. This isn't a short term thing over 1 bad test. The disappointment is just being prolonged from years past unfortunately.

 

[color_me_gone]

That's gotta be it.

Yep, that it!
N = Nembutal
SN = sodium nitrite
SI = survival instinct
A = distributor for N in Mexico - his actual name cannot be mentioned on SS
There is a thread in the off topics forum that describes more terms:
[Resource] Acronyms on here (for new users)
The offtopic thread also has games and stuff not related to suicide, opinions, personal stuff, etc.
Have fun

 

[I am ___________]

I agree, you should plan and gather all the materials you will need first, then you can act on impulse. Your mind will keep asking the same question: What if there is another way? Or What if someone finds me? What would my parents think? Thoughts like that distract you from accomplishing your goal, they are all irrelevant. It takes courage, detailed planning, and the right timing to successfully suicide.