what if people don't fucking LIKE me when I do that. what then
The more I heard this the more I isolated.
Putting yourself out there also means not liking other people.
We are here to observe I suppose. Be careful who you form attachments to but also don't push everyone away. I'm a hypocrite. I'm agoraphobic, mostly because I'm sick and how I look. I've been a loner most of my life.
It's the phrase that bothers me, like if you just did X Y or Z then things will change.
If I could go back and change things, a major thing I'd change is caring what people think of me and just live.
Putting yourself out there also means not liking other people.
We are here to observe I suppose. Be careful who you form attachments to but also don't push everyone away. I'm a hypocrite. I'm agoraphobic, mostly because I'm sick and how I look. I've been a loner most of my life.
It's the phrase that bothers me, like if you just did X Y or Z then things will change.
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it's not that I care what people think of me. I genuinely don't. but I do want friends. unfortunately, you have to have people like you in order to be friends with them, and people just don't like me very much. I just have this complete inability to come off as likable. the most I get is an occasional pity hangout and then I get ghosted.
I don't sit around worrying about what people think of me, but at some point, you do get lonely.
Dejected 55
Enlightened
- May 7, 2025
- 1,718
Yeah... I've been "out there" for 55 years now... and nothing. If I keep my head down and focus just on work and coming home, then I can mostly manage to keep a job... but too often having a job means meeting people, and meeting people reminds me of everything I don't have AND in some cases, like recently, introduces me to someone I really like and I get hurt horribly by the whole experience... and this time, I just decided to dig the hole deeper and crawl in and pull the dirt back over top of me.
I understand what you mean. I didn't come off as likable either. I've always been the odd one out. The type of people who have tried to hang out with me weren't likable or the type of people one shouldnt associate with. People have taken advantage of me so many times I pushed everyone away years ago, also have been ghosted many times. I'm very lonely. I've been lonely for many years. The times I've put myself out there I've been traumatized. There's some people I regret meeting but the loneliness can lead us to vulnerable situations.
Do you find that you envy "normal" people so much that it's a large factor in why you want to ctb? Seeing people have what I don't have causes much of my anguish.
Dejected 55
Enlightened
- May 7, 2025
- 1,718
I don't envy others for what they have... I just envy that they have something whereas I have nothing. I don't want the bad relationships that I see a lot of people having... or to be used or abused... so no jealousy there. And I know most people aren't necessarily as happy as they might look. So, I don't envy specific things... but I do wish I could have something at least close to what I've been looking for, especially since I have never sought perfection. I kind of want messy and imperfect as long as the two of us are in love, we can sort it out together.
-nobodyknows-
I will face my fate.
- Jun 16, 2024
- 793
This line of thinking is really annoying to me because, while it is partially true, meeting someone and then continuing to have a strong, stable relationship is infinitely more complicated that just "going out and being visible". There's also a huge difference on how these sorts of things go depending on your gender and culture.
starboy2k
the only thing I can do right….is be a burden
- May 21, 2025
- 309
putting yourself out there opens you up to more exploitation, rejection, and worst of all…..people. noooo thanks
This is where I fail in life, just flatout fail. I dont even understand how the hell to do that. Go out where? Be visible how? Sit on a bench in a park? Go to the shopping center? Go sit in a bar alone? Im completely unable to form any kind of meaningful human connection. Have been self isolating for more than 20 years, since puberty. Dont even know why.. bad genetics is a bitch. And for those who dont think genetics play GIGANTIC part of how you and your life unfolds are just delusional.
I feel like any way of life that pursues acceptance and approval from others is futile in a sense. Its too much about ego and validation. For me the goal is to observe and experience others without any expectations and to be comfortable being yourself, wether that is alone or around others. If you seek compliments you are in turn, also seeking criticism and it all relates to external validation. Its pointless in the end
