I think people would care in my case. Maybe they would even help me to some extent living- if I reached out to them. I'm not sure what they could do though. I doubt they could do anything at all. So- what you effectively get left with is a bunch of tethers- that you feel obligated to stay for and not hurt. Rather than a warm, support system.
If you're chomping at the bit to go and, the only thing keeping you in discomfort are these other people. Some of whom are largely why you are suffering to begin with- do you even love them with all your heart? I find, that you start building up a resentment towards them- which is a horrible feeling to live with but also- try to conceal from them.
While I feel so sad for people who say they have no one, I sometines wonder if they are sugar coating the reality of having people who aren't actually effectively supportive but, we still feel obligated to not hurt. While it's utterly cruel to say- it's almost like dragging around dead wood. That you feel duty and emotionally bound not to hurt but, that does next to nothing to support you.
I think telling people- especially before an attempt is complicated. It's not meaning to be harsh on the suicidal person. Obviously- they are frightened. They may genuinely want to say a last goodbye too.
But, think about it from that other person's point of view. They now know this huge secret- which is happening right now! Which- they may be the only person to be able to stop. What do they do?
Maybe their suicidal friend has begged them not to tell the authorities. Maybe they want to honor their wishes. But then, what if their family catches wind of it. What if the authorities do? They knew about it and yet, they didn't stop it. Why? Will the pro-lifers understand? It's putting them in an incredibly delicate and difficult situation.
Plus, they have their own inner struggle. They may not want to see that person go. Maybe they are more ambivalent towards them but, that in itself can create guilt. What should they be feeling and, what action should they be taking? Is it even unreasonable that they might feel annoyed to have been put in such a difficult quandry?
I understand the need to do it but, I actually think it's kind of cruel to tell others- especially in live time. Society pretty much treats suicide like a crime. Imagine having prior knowledge of a crime about to take place- that would hurt others. What would you do? Honour your loved ones secret or, inform the authorities? Would you be pleased to be put in a position where you had to choose what to do?
You're kind of damned either way. If you rat on the person, you've betrayed their trust. They likely get carted off to a psyche ward. If you don't and they go ahead with the attempt and fail- and only maim themselves- you could have prevented that. If they succeed, you live with knowing you allowed it to happen. How does that person feel about suicide themselves? Entirely comfortable? They have the rest of their lives knowing they could have prevented that death or maiming. The person's family may find out too and be outraged with them.
Whether they genuinely cared about the person or not- that's quite a thing to live with. So- it doesn't surprise me that probably a lot of people don't even want to be involved in knowing.
On the one hand, it's understandable to want to be cared about. On the other though- what is it we actually want from these other people? Do we want them to stop us? Do we want them to be utterly devastated? Do we want to turn their lives upside down? Put them in emotional and maybe even legal trouble? Is that a caring thing to do to them? Again- I don't think people always think of the ramifications when they feel desperate themselves but- it's a two way street ultimately. Care goes in both directions.
