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CatLove56

CatLove56

Specialist
Jun 30, 2018
309
So two things I was wondering if other people relate to The easiest one is multiple suicide attempts and then giving up or it not working. I often wonder if there has been a week that has gone by that I have not thought about my attempts and how I'm not supposed to be here.

The other thing is like a small or fairly big thing in your life that is going well but you know it's going to run out so to speak. Like if that thing runs out then you wonder if you have to kill yourself because you don't know if you can face life if that makes sense well specifically with me my workers compensation might as well just say it. The idea of searching for another job again makes me borderline suicidal and then on top of whatever else I deal with. My job is asking like they won't take me back so anyway that's just an example.

It's that constant nagging feeling that you're not supposed to be here or your time is running out it's it's not fun to say the least.
 
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Demi-Fiend

Demi-Fiend

Watered the Flowers with Gasoline
Aug 12, 2024
54
Yeah, I have a bad tendency to think I'm eternally fucked, with every minor convenience; yet I'm still somehow chugging along.

It turned out I had SOME sort of fucked up physiological problem, but it felt like the damages were already done from getting doped up on chemical shit from the harmaceutical industry, due to being misdiagnosed.

Now, it feels like I'm stuck in purgatory of trying to catch up with a lot of shit. I'm so fucking goddamn tired of not being able to get one NIGHT, where sleep is bountiful and refreshing; this boleshit has been going on for 5+ months now. Hypnotics can't even knock me out anymore.
 
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