Discussion You can go back in time and change one decision you made on your life. What is it and do you think it could have prevented you from CTBing?

[Brainpain]

For me I would have taken the scholarship and attempted to follow what I loved in university rather than forgoing it to party because I thought it would lead to nowhere. At least I would have had the chance and would have known rather than wondered my whole life, what if??

I also know that no decision I could have made would have prevented my chronic pain and mental issues from surfacing (at least I don't think). So I might very well would be ctbing anyways but maybe I could have had some real joy in my life at one time.

 

[Onomotopoeia]

Sorry to hear that. It can be really cumbersome to look back and wish but it is easy to look back and see how a different choice might have been better.

For me I think i would have chosen to move with a friend to florida when we were being evicted. It probably would not have mattered but ya never know and me not doing that was the first real shift that led to my total isolation.

I do not think it would make a difference in the end but I know the power some seemingly simple choices can have, so why not..

 

[Pupuce]

I would work and get my own place to live ASAP, would probably not change anything about ctb but at least I'd have a place where people can't directly piss me of.

 

[andy69]

I think I said this before. I would have not gone to college. Or I would have gone to a community college.

 

[Brainpain]

I think I said this before. I would have not gone to college. Or I would have gone to a community college.

That is opposite of me. But I hear that lots from people. The degree that lead to nowhere was my fear at the time and probably a very good one. Now I regret the unknown potential.

 

[andy69]

That is opposite of me. But I hear that lots from people. The degree that lead to nowhere was my fear at the time and probably a very good one. Now I regret the unknown potential.

I think the problem with college is that people are expected to do it in some cases and don't realize the opportunity costs involved. Also, college professors know nothing about the real world. All they know is their Ivory Tower. Going back in mid to late twenties might be better for people.

 

[not_a_robot]

Claimed my pension sooner. Would have saved me so much grief, so much pain. My whole life would have been different if I just knew I had that one tiny financial safety-net.

Never have trusted anyone, never given anyone the benefit of the doubt that maybe they don't want to hurt me. Listen to brain always, give up on heart.

 

[inconsequential]

Honestly, I've been thinking about this for a good 10 minutes, and I cannot think of one single decision I'd change.

It wasn't my decision to be born into an abusive family.
It wasn't my decision to be born with so many congenital defects.

I could pick "don't go get milk," or "don't take that medication," but I'd still be in around 70% of the pain I am in now.

Mentally and physically, I am fucked.

Maybe not taking Seroquel. Then I wouldn't need a breast lift from gaining and subsequently losing all the fucking Seroquel weight. (That wouldn't keep me from CTB, I'd just be happier with myself.)

 

[Pistolero114]

I would never have picked up my first drink.

 

[blanketyblk]

I wouldn't be meek and mild at school. and if any of the bullies picked on me. i would just flatten them. i think doing this would of caused major changes to my education and then how I deal with people. might of made it worst. but maybe not.

 

[Spookycabinet]

The day before my wedding, my best friend sat with me on the staircase and said 'are you absolutely sure you want this?'
I wish I were strong enough to be honest and say 'no'

 

[Pilum Muralis]

I wouldn't have listened to the doctors treating my mother, that told me she probably had a couple days to live. They talked me into having her transferred to a hospice facility. She died in route, and I never had the chance to say good bye, or even be with her when she needed me the most.
It wouldn't stop me from ctb. I'm just tired of the guilt, on an already full plate of other crappy feelings I have.

 

[Pallf]

I would have been forceful about getting on medicine during my first semester in college. Because I wasn't forceful, I didn't get prescribed anything till April, when I was doomed to fail college. Flunking out runs through my mind everyday.

 

[Darkhaven]

I would go back to 2015 and make up my mind to enter university in the degree i'm currently in, instead of staying one year doing nothing while all my colleagues moved on with their lives after high school: some went to university and others started working.
It wouldn't change nothing about my reasons to ctb BUT, if things went right, i could, at this very moment, have my degree finished and could start searching for work right away. Would it work? Would i adapt or mingle in? Probably not but at least i would face reality sooner.
Now i'm still one year from finishing and i'm already realising that maybe all this studying won't be worth shit if i can't get on a job and behave normally.
I wouldn't change my entrance to university though, because i still think it is being worthy.
Learning more is always a pleasure for me.

 

[Taylored]

I probably would of went back in time and stop myself from overdosing on antidepressants. That would of really prevented the dozens of issues that have stuck around with me.

 

[Kyrok]

Hard to pick just one.

- should have been more friendly and considerate of others in school
- should have chosen different universities
- shouldn't have been so antagonist towards my thesis & dissertation advisors
- should have hit "enter" with my massive 3x negative financials ETF options order on Oct 1st, 2008!
- shouldn't have been so adversarial to others in my field
- shouldn't have pushed myself so hard in 2017, leading to a breakdown
- shouldn't have lost my temper in a public forum in 2018

 

[Morphinekiss]

Moved to Poland for that job.

 

[Darkhaven]

Moved to Poland for that job.

Beautiful country!
And cold and snowy just as i like (or so i think)!

 

[Morphinekiss]

Beautiful country!
And cold and snowy just as i like (or so i think)!

I love it there. Poland and Austria are heaven on earth for me.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

Moved to Poland for that job.

I just read the other day Poland is getting rid of income tax for people under the age of 26.

 

[quiet35]

This is what I would have done to possibly avoid even thinking about ctb now:
- Fighting school bullies back not being afraid and not thinking of any consequences;
- Study better at the university;
- Accepting the last job offer I've got when I was still relatively healthy. I was too afraid of the perspectives they told me, too exhausted experimenting with my nutrition and wanted to get rid of the constant feeling of being responsible just for some time (as a system administrator I could not afford that even on vacation). Should just treat it simpler and accept, I knew it would be potentially disastrous to decline.

 

[seekingoblivion]

There's no one decision that I could have made differently that would change this. It's millions of micro decisions. Hence if there's anything to change in the past it is my conception.