“You are not getting better because you don’t want to”

[quietwater]

Does anyone else hate these kind of statements?
I do, I'm so tired of people telling me that things aren't getting better for me because I'm not trying hard enough or because I'm not seeing the brightside. There's no brightside. Do these people really think that I haven't tried anything to get better?
Suicidal people are suicidal for a long time, usually.
Also, even if I didn't try to get better in the past, it's because it's going against my interests. I want to /die/ not to look at things brightly. We don't see hope for ourselves, there's nothing to try and there's nothing to do.
They really have to stop pushing the narrative where suicidal people are suicidal just because they want to be and because they're not trying hard enough, I hate it.

 

[MyUniqueUsername]

They are just in a predicament, they never wanna tell you: "Yeah I get it, there really is no option, it's a lost cause." So they have to resort to saying literally anything else.

AI is even more honest then these people, I wrote to ai about my situation a few times and it actually admits in the end that it's screwed with no possible fix that would actually work for me. Lol

 

[Passenger4224]

I mean, I don't want to get better, so they aren't wrong in my case

 

[Dot]

Sme1 sd t/ slf 's/ u jst gve up'

Slf ws fightng wth *all* of slf strngth fr yrs whle evry stp of slf issus escl8td & am nw in stuatn whre bdy = frozn up & slf am unabl t/ spk alng wth all th/ sevre psych symptms & if slf try 2 xplain tht neg8tve neurolgy hs dfeatd slf thn slf am 'neg8tve'

ppl r idiots

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I think this can be a true statement a lot of the time, it applies to me. It's not that I haven't wanted to get better, but the depression/situation makes my outlook bleak and the effort I put in low. I suppose if I could force myself to do more, but I don't care to.

It's a shitty thing to hear, but only you know if it's true for you.

 

[Macedonian1987]

The truth is, I'm exhausted. For 38 years, Asperger's has made me feel like a displaced soul on a foreign planet. I no longer have the desire to 'heal' or adapt; I just want the peace of leaving a world that wasn't built for me

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

I mean, I don't want to get better, so they aren't wrong in my case

It's a relief to know others feel this. For a long time, I was thinking there was something wrong with me. Well, I mean, there is, but you know what I mean lol. I've gotten to where I don't even care if I feel better. I mean, I'm not opposed to a miracle taking place, but at the same time, if I could just work up a nerve to off myself, I would.

The truth is, I'm exhausted. For 38 years, Asperger's has made me feel like a displaced soul on a foreign planet. I no longer have the desire to 'heal' or adapt; I just want the peace of leaving a world that wasn't built for me

I've often wondered if I'm somewhere on the spectrum, but have never been tested. At 36, it'd probably just be a waste of time.

 

[hurb]

I dont want to get better cause i dont think there is anything wrong with me. I just think everyone thats doing alright has different taste or lying to themselves.
All my thoughts are logical. The way i view life is logical too.
I mean if u dont like a game , u just choose to opt out and not play it.
It's so simple rly , i dont understand why thats so frowned upon. If u want me to stay , they should simply make life attractive for me. Which they cant.

 

[OtterFromTheCosmos]

I feel like people who say that kind of stuff never really understand how it is to want to die
It almost feels selfish in a way, that they assume that just cause they think you can recover, you just magically can if you try hard enough

 

[Macedonian1987]

I've often wondered if I'm somewhere on the spectrum, but have never been tested. At 36, it'd probably just be a waste of time.

If you never had any real friendships, no love life (or a very poor one) and felt like you never belonged on this planet, there are big chances that you might be. I was diagnosed very late, just recently few years ago.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

If you never had any real friendships, no love life (or a very poor one) and felt like you never belonged on this planet, there are big chances that you might be. I was diagnosed very late, just recently few years ago.

I've had friends, but they were either as messed up as me, or not much better. I always ruin every friendship I get into. As far as feeling like I've never belonged on this planet, I've experienced that since as young as I can remember. I never fit in no matter where I go; and it's almost like people want to let me know I don't fit in. I hated being in school. I would avoid the lunch room at all cost.

"Normal" people just don't like me. They might at first, but it's short lived. Other people don't think like I do. I'm too technical and I'm overly nerdy about almost everything.

In school, girls didn't like me because I think in ways that are more guyish.

I've often felt like a parasite, or a disease that infects everything around me.

 

[Notlikeforte]

It's great when people who don't know what chronic pain is like try to make statements like this too. Invisible disabilities are hell and people can't understand that I'd be suffering, since it's not visible and I haven't improved despite trying all kinds of doctor recommended things.

It's not about not wanting to, it's about being unable to(for me).

 

[Dot]

It's great when people who don't know what chronic pain is like try to make statements like this too. Invisible disabilities are hell and people can't understand that I'd be suffering, since it's not visible and I haven't improved despite trying all kinds of doctor recommended things.

It's not about not wanting to, it's about being unable to(for me).

Nt sre wht u hve bn recmmndd in pst bt if intrstd slf cn DM wth sme othr sggestns tht hve workd fr sme ppl wth chronc pn
Ws an apprch tht ws helpng slf fr fw yrs wth ME/CFS symptms

 

[Macedonian1987]

It's great when people who don't know what chronic pain is like try to make statements like this too. Invisible disabilities are hell and people can't understand that I'd be suffering, since it's not visible and I haven't improved despite trying all kinds of doctor recommended things.

It's not about not wanting to, it's about being unable to(for me).

Sadly I know what chronic pain is. I have multi-joint pain on many of my joints and myofascial pain syndrome on top of it all. Chronic pain is even worse that the loneliness. My chronic pain is the No.1 cause while I plan on ctb soon, either this summer or the next. If at the age of 38 i have the joints of a 70 year old, I can only imagine what my joints will be like if I live to be 50-60. I will probably either be in crutches or a wheelchair.

I'm sorry if you suffer from chronic pain too.

I've had friends, but they were either as messed up as me, or not much better. I always ruin every friendship I get into. As far as feeling like I've never belonged on this planet, I've experienced that since as young as I can remember. I never fit in no matter where I go; and it's almost like people want to let me know I don't fit in. I hated being in school. I would avoid the lunch room at all cost.

"Normal" people just don't like me. They might at first, but it's short lived. Other people don't think like I do. I'm too technical and I'm overly nerdy about almost everything.

In school, girls didn't like me because I think in ways that are more guyish.

I've often felt like a parasite, or a disease that infects everything around me.

I'm not a doctor, I could be wrong about this but it's quite likely you are on the spectrum too.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I mean, I don't want to get better, so they aren't wrong in my case

They would be right in my case too. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I'm not prepared to put in the effort now to try to 'recover'. Partly because I have put in great effort in the past and, it wasn't worth it.

That's also why I likely won't try therapy again. I have no intention of taking their advice, trying to challenge my own negative behaviour. I feel like I know what to do to an extent. It's on me now- whether I do it or suffer the consequences.

I'd probably tell them my outlook/ value on life is likely different to theirs. I probably don't get the same sense of joy/ filfilment they do in things. I've tried some medication- if that would be the next suggestion but- I know plenty of people where drugs ended up messing them up even more. So- why should I risk it?

I find it better to try to avoid being in that position in the first place though to be honest. So- it seems better for people not to realise how I feel to begin with. That way, they hopefully won't poke their nose in to what I should be doing to improve my life.

 

[quietwater]

It's a relief to know others feel this. For a long time, I was thinking there was something wrong with me. Well, I mean, there is, but you know what I mean lol. I've gotten to where I don't even care if I feel better. I mean, I'm not opposed to a miracle taking place, but at the same time, if I could just work up a nerve to off myself, I would.

I've often wondered if I'm somewhere on the spectrum, but have never been tested. At 36, it'd probably just be a waste of time.

I feel this completely. As I said in the post, I'm just tired. After all my life where I kept living now I'm just tired and want to end it, but at the same time I don't want someone else telling me that I'm not trying hard enough — no, I'm not anymore. Is it so wrong?
(Also, are you italian? I am.)

They would be right in my case too. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I'm not prepared to put in the effort now to try to 'recover'. Partly because I have put in great effort in the past and, it wasn't worth it.

That's also why I likely won't try therapy again. I have no intention of taking their advice, trying to challenge my own negative behaviour. I feel like I know what to do to an extent. It's on me now- whether I do it or suffer the consequences.

I'd probably tell them my outlook/ value on life is likely different to theirs. I probably don't get the same sense of joy/ filfilment they do in things. I've tried some medication- if that would be the next suggestion but- I know plenty of people where drugs ended up messing them up even more. So- why should I risk it?

I find it better to try to avoid being in that position in the first place though to be honest. So- it seems better for people not to realise how I feel to begin with. That way, they hopefully won't poke their nose in to what I should be doing to improve my life.

I feel the same! It was I was trying to convey in my post

I feel like people who say that kind of stuff never really understand how it is to want to die
It almost feels selfish in a way, that they assume that just cause they think you can recover, you just magically can if you try hard enough

Yeah right? Like, if I could chose to restart my life in an ideal way and live in a perfect paradise without being suicidal without any memories from this life, I would. But that's the only way for me to heal. As I am now, there's nothing to do and I'm just tired, they don't understand at all. I don't see the point in trying.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

I feel this completely. As I said in the post, I'm just tired. After all my life where I kept living now I'm just tired and want to end it, but at the same time I don't want someone else telling me that I'm not trying hard enough — no, I'm not anymore. Is it so wrong?
(Also, are you italian? I am.)

I feel the same! It was I was trying to convey in my post

No, I'm not Italian, but I looooove the language. I started learning it a few years ago but ended up giving up because I had no one to speak it with. But I still use many words sometimes. I'll get really frustrated and say, "Voglio morire" and hope no one around me knows what it means LOL.

 

[quietwater]

I mean, I don't want to get better, so they aren't wrong in my case

I don't want to get better too, because I don't see the point in trying, I know I'm hopeless and I hate myself.
Trying to get better would be like trying to give a nice life to the person I hate the most in the world.
But regardless, I didn't /chose/ to be suicidal, these kind of statements imply this.

No, I'm not Italian, but I looooove the language. I started learning it a few years ago but ended up giving up because I had no one to speak it with. But I still use many words sometimes. I'll get really frustrated and say, "Voglio morire" and hope no one around me knows what it means LOL.

I see! It's a very hard language to learn, they say. I don't really know since I'm native. I just assumed because of your status, LMAO.
I say that all the time too :p

 

[Passenger4224]

I dont want to get better cause i dont think there is anything wrong with me. I just think everyone thats doing alright has different taste or lying to themselves.
All my thoughts are logical. The way i view life is logical too.
I mean if u dont like a game , u just choose to opt out and not play it.
It's so simple rly , i dont understand why thats so frowned upon. If u want me to stay , they should simply make life attractive for me. Which they cant.

THIS!! This is exactly my thinking!!

If you never had any real friendships, no love life (or a very poor one) and felt like you never belonged on this planet, there are big chances that you might be. I was diagnosed very late, just recently few years ago.

I wish people would just understand this instead of clinging on to optimistic bs.

 

[divinemistress87]

Getting better is a lot of work and money. Ive tried a lot of treatments , yes they have helped some but nothing life changing

 

[Macedonian1987]

Getting better is a lot of work and money. Ive tried a lot of treatments , yes they have helped some but nothing life changing

I don't even want to start treatment, because North Macedonian psychiatrists are one of the worst and undereducated ones in Europe, they also charge one average monthly salary for just 5 sessions.