Yearning to die

[TVtrays]

It's every day. Being reminded that everybody is better than me. I can't socialize online so I haven't contributed to anything useful here. I'm not good for anything because I'm beneath garbage. I'm vermin. I'm cancer. I'm too stupid to figure out how to hang myself by partial suspension, my last roomie threw out my SN, I lost my meto and I don't even want to use SN due to vomiting risk. I've found myself hating gun control because I have to jump through hoops just to get a handgun I would only use once. People don't see how useless I am and why this is necessary and why me killing myself is the only humane thing to do. I've tried to kill myself many times and I have never felt glad to still be alive. There are people I love but I can't burden them any longer. The only reason I'm still alive is my lack of access to a viable ctb method. It hurts so bad all the time and I want it so stop...

 

[FuneralCry]

Living really is painful. All I want is to be free from existence. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering. We all deserve an option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, it is cruel how society expects us to suffer for decades. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[TVtrays]

Living really is painful. All I want is to be free from existence. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering. We all deserve an option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, it is cruel how society expects us to suffer for decades. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Thank you
I wish people understood
I can't find comfort in anything anymore, it's all pain now, it's agony. Therapy, hospitalizations, medications, religion, nothing has helped. I am meant to die.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm so sorry you had to go through so much... we all should have access to quick and painless way to die but these sadists wont let us have it.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Yep, I can't wait to die. The sorrow and anxiety consume me from the moment I wake up. Nonstop suicidal thoughts as well. Tired of it, especially when there's absolutely no hope

 

[toforigivelife]

Thank you
I wish people understood
I can't find comfort in anything anymore, it's all pain now, it's agony. Therapy, hospitalizations, medications, religion, nothing has helped. I am meant to die.

Yep, I can't wait to die. The sorrow and anxiety consume me from the moment I wake up. Nonstop suicidal thoughts as well. Tired of it, especially when there's absolutely no hope

TVtrays,

Your situation does sound dire. Sometimes psychological or mental illness is resistant to treatment.

You don't have a way of connecting with a local drug scene? Maybe score some heroin or something strong like that?

TVtrays, PeacefulTonic, I always get caught between wanting to help people who are suffering the way you are suffering because obviously I understand your anguish and my conscience.

I don't want either of you to end your lives in case you find the light at the end of the tunnel somehow.

But then, on the other hand, I believe it is a person's right to determine their own quality of life and if they've given the matter a lot of thought they will choose to act on whatever decision they come to.

Both of you; if you're serious, illegal substances might be the answer. I know, easier said than done.

Wishing you both peace and blessings, no matter what decision you come to.

 

[wanttodie]

me to I can't wait to die

 

[TVtrays]

TVtrays,

Your situation does sound dire. Sometimes psychological or mental illness is resistant to treatment.

You don't have a way of connecting with a local drug scene? Maybe score some heroin or something strong like that?

TVtrays, PeacefulTonic, I always get caught between wanting to help people who are suffering the way you are suffering because obviously I understand your anguish and my conscience.

I don't want either of you to end your lives in case you find the light at the end of the tunnel somehow.

But then, on the other hand, I believe it is a person's right to determine their own quality of life and if they've given the matter a lot of thought they will choose to act on whatever decision they come to.

Both of you; if you're serious, illegal substances might be the answer. I know, easier said than done.

Wishing you both peace and blessings, no matter what decision you come to.

Thanks for your response. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. It's been hard to go on the internet or do much of anything.

I'm not quite sure how to get h
I'm in the underground rave scene but I've never bought drugs before lol
Not sure how to go about it.

That would be my ideal method. Opioids feel amazing, like pure bliss, but I've only had norcos, and i got those through my ex whom I'm no longer in contact with

 

[toforigivelife]

Thanks for your response. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. It's been hard to go on the internet or do much of anything.

I'm not quite sure how to get h
I'm in the underground rave scene but I've never bought drugs before lol
Not sure how to go about it.

That would be my ideal method. Opioids feel amazing, like pure bliss, but I've only had norcos, and i got those through my ex whom I'm no longer in contact with

I've never bought drugs through a street drug dealer or on the street scene either.

Please know - please, please know - that I'm not trying to encourage opiate use on top of the anguish and depression that you are going through, an opiate addiction would just bring you to a new level of hell.

But, for the purpose of catching the bus, if you decide that truly is the best choice for you, I'm honestly not trying to encourage that either unless you've really given the matter a lot of thought, there are always the dark markets.

You can check out a site called Dark Fail for a list of available markets, learn about using Bitcoin and download the Tor browser in order to access these markets (if you start using the dark markets make sure the vendor you are buying from gets excellent feedback and uses excellent "stealth", stealth is what makes sure your order gets to you safely).

Sometimes just knowing the method and option is available can bring some peace of mind.

Wishing you the best my friend.

 

[TVtrays]

Thanks for the advice. Sadly, i can't own Bitcoin or any crypto because I'm on SSI. Social Security considers it an investment. Street opioids are my only option here. I fully intend to die so I will dose myself accordingly.

 

[toforigivelife]

Thanks for the advice. Sadly, i can't own Bitcoin or any crypto because I'm on SSI. Social Security considers it an investment. Street opioids are my only option here. I fully intend to die so I will dose myself accordingly.

I'm sorry that you're in this predicament. I'm so sorry.

If you feel that leaving this life is truly the best choice for you, for me the issue is finding the right time to move on from this realm, then I hope you find the right method and, as I said, I wish you peace, blessings, healing and love in your decision to end your suffering.

Is there anything that would change your desire to die or have you come to a final decision?

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Thanks for the advice. Sadly, i can't own Bitcoin or any crypto because I'm on SSI. Social Security considers it an investment. Street opioids are my only option here. I fully intend to die so I will dose myself accordingly.

You can use those Bitcoin ATMs with cash. The rates are not favorable but there will be no trace to you.